Hi, I'm Marcella. I just turned 27 last week and I'm so happy to have found this website. As a brief introduction, I'm still stuck as in a male body, but I'm a woman through and through. I struggled with my identity when I was 11. I remember banging my head inside a bathroom just to keep the thought of being gay came to my mind. Growing up, I realized that I'm not gay. It was a tough childhood. Then when I realized that I was not gay at all, that my depression came from not living the gender that I am inside.

Now, I've decided to start my transition despite being alone.

Marcella,
Welcome! and good for you!  You'll find all sorts of info and support here.  This is a warm friendly place with many lovely ladies and gentlemen that have gone through it all.   
xx

Welcome to Susan's Marcella! You are so amazing for taking the initiative to start transitioning and being happy with yourself. By joining Susan's, I can promise you that you wont be alone through your journey. Everyone here is so kind and helpful, I'm positive you'll be able to find so much support! I wish you the greatest of success with your transition and may you have an amazing time discovering yourself.

Hi Marcella 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

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Hugs

V M

Thank you so much. I'm happy to have finally acdepted everything. I'm hopeful

Welcome to Susan's. Acceptance and getting started were the two toughest things for me.

Hi Marcella ,

I knew that I was a girl since the age of 4 . I have always been a gender non conforming child . I was as feminin as a young girl can be . Even though growing up in a conservative family I always tried to live my authentic self . I have struggled with two depressions caused by my transsexuality before I finally found the courage to tell my parents and to make the decision to transition . I am starting hormones in 5 days already and I can't express what a relief that is !
I never felt connection with gay guys either . I always knew that I wasn't gay but I didn't know how to define myself others than as a girl till the age of 15 . I am not even attracted to the slightest to gayish boys . I am a heterosexual woman who is attracted to straight alpha males . But to maintain stable relationships with straight guys we need to fully transition first and undergo GRS.
I am going to have mine done in Thailand in two years with doctor Chettawut.  One of the best surgeons in the world for Gender Reassignment Surgery .  Do you already know if you plan to undergo hormone therapy and / or GRS ?
If you really want to live as an effeminate gay guy maybe you could become a dragqueen ?
It is to be said that transition initially was found out for people who really , really face strong gender dysphoria due to being caught as a female soul and with female brains in a boys body .
Today , with medical science evoluating ,  people who are not mentally female can also choose the route transwomen choose . If that is smart ... That's another thing ...

Anyway ,
welcome and nice to meet you

I know how you feel. Only last week did I have an appointment with my doctor where I told her I feel unhappy in a male body. I'm still struck with depression, and I feel like a fool for not going into transition sooner when my body was still going through puberty, but at least I know that whatever happens from this point on, things can only get better. You should feel the same. ^_^