Can I not use the T-word?

[Aazhie]

I read some comment (not here, just some Facebook rant) that transmen aren't allowed to call themselves T****y because the word is only used hatefully against transwomen.  I'm not necessarily that offended by the idea, but I guess I just wonder how true that is?  Majority of my experience with the term is my transwomen friends referring to themselves with it, so I assumed it was a blanket slur for anyone transgender because I knew them long before any GQ or transmen.  It's not a term I would call anyone else (aside from myself) in all honesty I just didn't know there was a limit on what kinds of transgender folk can use it in a "taking it back" kind of sense.  I am gay and have referred to myself with various slang that I know some guys do not like- I am happy to censor myself around them to not hurt their feelings and I just want to get a better idea of what is what so people aren't upset!
Also there is a car place in oregon that specializes in transmissions. Their sign is a giant superman ripoff hero guy and the very name of the business is Tr***y Man.... is Tman FTM??? who came up with this business name and when??  AUGH!


It's late, I'm tired, sorry if this is all just babbling. Be kind to my ignorant butt, mostly just need to know what is up!?

[Ms Grace]

You can call yourself whatever you like, just don't use it on others and don't expect other people to be all that OK with it.

[Aazhie]

You can call yourself whatever you like, just don't use it on others and don't expect other people to be all that OK with it.

That's totally fair, and pretty much how I had been thinking about it before seeing the FB rant.  Thanks!

[Dee Marshall]

I agree totally with Grace, just in case weight of numbers will help settle your mind.

[suzifrommd]

Freedom of speech: We're allowed to say what we want.

Civility: We voluntarily decide not to use language that offends and denigrates.

Both these concepts apply in this case.

[Tysilio]

Car people often call that big thing behind the engine where the gears are a "->-bleeped-<-." It's just an in-group way of referring to a transmission, and I'd guess that it predates the other usage of the word.

[Devlyn]

You can call yourself whatever you like, just don't use it on others and don't expect other people to be all that OK with it.

That's the official policy on this site. I'd just follow it up with not everyone might like it, but they have to be respectful of your choice to use it. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Laurette Mohr]

Car people often call that big thing behind the engine where the gears are a "->-bleeped-<-." It's just an in-group way of referring to a transmission, and I'd guess that it predates the other usage of the word.

My uncle was a mechanic for most of his life. That term for a transmission was around in the 1940's.

[Toddin3D]

If you think about it, transwomen get a lot more attention in general, why is part of the main reason why they get "more hate", if that makes any sense. Pretty sure that if transmen were more visible to the public eye, we would also get slurs hurled at us a lot more often, and thus granted the "privilege" (for lack of a better word) to use the slur ourselves. And by "visible", I mean being acknowledged as transgender, and not being mistaken for a "butch lesbian".

I would recommend staying away from the "You can't do X if you're not Y" arguments because they're usually MEANT to be one-sided from the very beginning. No one really uses this kind of argument if they actually want to be civil and actually listen to anyone that will most likely disagree with them. It doesn't help that this was also posted on social media (Facebook), so this is most likely flamewar material even though it's a rant.

You can call yourself whatever you like, just don't use it on others and don't expect other people to be all that OK with it.

^ This.

[FTMax]

Agree with what others have said.

I personally take it as a slur all around unless we're talking cars. I'd never tell anyone that they couldn't claim it as an identity for themselves, but I would never use it to refer to anyone or myself.

[Jill F]

Car people often call that big thing behind the engine where the gears are a "->-bleeped-<-."

Same with transformers in guitar amps.

My wife blew the ->-bleeped-<- in her BMW last year and I blew the one in my Marshall the year before.

[Marioshroomed]

best advice is to stop using facebook.