Trangender Guys dating Transgender Girls??!

[FTMax]

What about transguys dating cis-men? You seem to have a strangely heteronormative opinion of transguys. What makes you think a cis-man dating a transitional transguy wouldn't question his sexuality? There's also the issue of being automatically ID'd as female because your partner male.

I think you're being overly critical. Her question was originally posed regarding trans guys dating trans girls, implying a heterosexual relationship (regardless of how the parties each identify). She's not minimizing or denying the existence of gay transmen, it just wasn't the topic of discussion.

So how does one go about meeting trans guys? I wouldn't mind dating a trans guy, and it might have a better chance of working out than with a cis guy, since he would understand what I've been through and would know I'm a true member of my gender. But I haven't actually ever come across a trans guy interested in dating.

OkCupid is probably the best option as far as online dating goes. I think we could benefit from a trans-exclusive dating site, but I imagine it would be tough to put together for a lot of reasons - spam, stealth people, verification, etc.

Local meetup groups might be good just to get a feel for who is in the area. Support groups I've heard tend to be female-dominated spaces, so I'm not sure how effective that would be. I don't know if any exist for transfolks currently, but I know on some forums I'm on for other niche interests, they have local or regional boards so that people can talk about local events or group activities. Might be worth looking into.

[Rainbow Dash]

How do transgender guys feel about dating transgender girls?? Just curious

From personal experience, don't do it. You're setting yourself and your boyfriend up for a painful ride.

[Rainbow Dash]

Oh and this, " you can relate to each other better" stuff is nonsense. I used to think that. But no. And don't let that be the basis for your relationship either.

[Laura_7]

Oh and this, " you can relate to each other better" stuff is nonsense. I used to think that. But no. And don't let that be the basis for your relationship either.

Well I'd say it depends.

There are quite a few partnerships of trans men and women.
It might also depend on how you can work with your triggers...
if you can understand each other...
and if you can communicate about it...

but it can be something you have in common. 

[Rainbow Dash]

I'm just telling you from my personal experience. All it got me was a broken heart that I still can't fix and memories of stupid fights that shouldn't have even happened. It overshadows the good memories I have of them.

[Laura_7]

I'm just telling you from my personal experience. All it got me was a broken heart that I still can't fix and memories of stupid fights that shouldn't have even happened. It overshadows the good memories I have of them.

I'm sorry.

Sometimes people trigger each other, or talk in a way the other one feels hurt by, or are otherwise not compatible...
maybe you can keep them in good memory nonetheless.


*hugs*

[kitten_lover]

Well you could go to a few lgbt places anyways...
and look out for a nice trans man 

In my experience people are usually accepting.
It just might be necessary to fend off one or two lesbian oriented people 

Thanks, but as I was saying earlier on in the post, I find that very rarely do trans men feel the need to be supported through LGBT events. Most probably, because they can pass more easily and don't experience the same issues to the extent trans women do (to put this in perspective - before I get attacked - when was the last time you heard of a trans man being attacked as a result of hate crime...??).

[kitten_lover]

If I was straight, I would definitely date a trans woman. But since I'm actually gay, I rather want guys. So I could date many kinds of people. It doesn't matter they are cis or not. As long I find them attractive and think they are nice, it's good.

That's really nice to know...I hope many more people in the world would have the same thinking as you x

[kitten_lover]

Oh and this, " you can relate to each other better" stuff is nonsense. I used to think that. But no. And don't let that be the basis for your relationship either.

Interesting...curious to learn more if your'e willing to share more of your experience, of course if you're comfortable to.

[kitten_lover]

In the UK there is a website called TVchix.com

It is mainly for the ->-bleeped-<- community, however you can setup a transgender profile there...although I believe they're the minority of users.

Has anyone had any experience of using this? Has it proved successful? I've heard there are a lot of UK based users on it, which is good for me since I live in London!

Would love to hear more from anyone who can share.

x thanks x

[Laura_7]

In the UK plenty of fish is also quite popular...

[Daniel92]

My first girlfriend was trans (this is before I came to terms with myself so I was presenting as a gay female) and it made no odds to me. I wouldn't hesitate to date a trans girl again because it didn't make any difference the first time.

[soaringPhoenix]

I'm ftm... I'd date any gender, any sex, as long as they were kind, considerate decent people. I'm very open-minded.


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[audreelyn]

Rainbow Dash, sorry to hear that it didn't work out
Though, with relationships, fighting I think is normal and happens from time to time--but what would you say is particular about your trans-trans relationship that made it that much more difficult that any other type of relationship?

That being said, I've seen trans-trans relationships working out on YouTube... though I haven't seen any up close for that matter.

Still, I would take the plunge :3

[WorkingOnThomas]

JennaJaye, transmen get attacked quite a bit, in fact. I'm not saying we're just as vulnerable as you ladies are, but it does happen. And passing for us can be quite difficult as well.

I've seen you write a couple of times now that it is easier. I don't think that is true. And I don't think it is useful to make comparisons in this area regarding "who has it worse".

Everybody has their own pain, their own bad experiences. Lets not minimize that. It hurts.

[kitten_lover]

JennaJaye, transmen get attacked quite a bit, in fact. I'm not saying we're just as vulnerable as you ladies are, but it does happen. And passing for us can be quite difficult as well.

I've seen you write a couple of times now that it is easier. I don't think that is true. And I don't think it is useful to make comparisons in this area regarding "who has it worse".

Everybody has their own pain, their own bad experiences. Lets not minimize that. It hurts.

Ok...apolgies 

[WorkingOnThomas]

No worries. Grass is always greener on the other side, etc. etc.  ...

Thomas

[Rainbow Dash]

Some of the fights we had were really BS. Once,  I was accused of trying to change (X) because I suggested that they work out after he complained about his weight. If you're not happy with something you change it, right? He went off on me. I was in tears, crying in the bathroom.

To this day, I miss him i don't smile around other people like I did with him. He ended up hating me. He says he doesn't but all I get from him is silence. He said that I would get over it but I havent. God knows I've tried to. I don't even know if he is alive anymore.

That's why I say run for the hills!
It's just not worth the heartache.

[Laura_7]

Some of the fights we had were really BS. Once,  I was accused of trying to change (X) because I suggested that they work out after he complained about his weight. If you're not happy with something you change it, right? He went off on me. I was in tears, crying in the bathroom.

To this day, I miss him i don't smile around other people like I did with him. He ended up hating me. He says he doesn't but all I get from him is silence. He said that I would get over it but I havent. God knows I've tried to. I don't even know if he is alive anymore.

That's why I say run for the hills!
It's just not worth the heartache.

Well would be another contact be of advantage ?
Maybe they have changed... one way or another... and you can say goodbye this way, or make some kind of connection without falling in old habits.
Do you have a feeling you have changed too in the meantime ?

[Anna33]

If you can tell a good joke, have a heart and know how to have fun, yes, you're more than welcome in my book.

Loved this x So true!! the way to my heart is through my mind and soul.