Aunty Cindy's Agony Column

[V M]

Dear Aunty Cindy

I'm sick as a dog and not sure which end stuff will fly out of next and no-one could give a care

I'm sure all I need is a bit of a good spank and that should jog things loose of one end or the other

What should I do?

Kind regards,

Freezin' up North

[Cindy]

Aunty Cindy is spending the day holding onto the porcelain doing technicolour yawns.

Normal service will resume if she survives.

[Justin 21]

Dear aunty cindy.
Im back!!

Signed
The yowie

[Cindy]

Oh Buga.

I'd forgotten about this column.

I suppose Aunty Cindy should say Welcome Back. But last time I said that some guy called Kotter got a TV show and never paid me royalties!

<welcome back Justin. How are you!>

[Justin 21]

Im great a little less fur at the moment

[Catherine Sarah]

Dear Aunty Cindy dear,

I'm suppressed and so dilapidated I don't know where to go, what bus to catch, what I should have for breakfast or which nail colour. Can you help, or am I beyond it. Is it just to the left?

With prospects and long thoughts (and hair in your nose)

Your upside down inside out Sister

[stephaniec]

Dear Auntie Cindy I have a major conundrum . I'm irrefutably bisexual. My therapist is a close friend to me and I'm balancing  on the sharp edge of a knife trying to prevent myself from crossing the line of therapist to patient mentally . I also am finding myself attracted to the owner of a café I always go to and the separation of customer and owner relationship is mentally frustrating me because after a life time of solitude I finding that someone might be interested , but I really can't separate reality from desire. Then there is the absolute fact that I'm bi . I think about men way too much, but I haven't met anyone for a long time. I have a plan for when I'm ready to meet men , but I'm so confused that I'm afraid of the water.

[Cindy]

Dear Aunty Cindy dear,

I'm suppressed and so dilapidated I don't know where to go, what bus to catch, what I should have for breakfast or which nail colour. Can you help, or am I beyond it. Is it just to the left?

With prospects and long thoughts (and hair in your nose)

Your upside down inside out Sister

Dear Catherine,

Of course I have had detailed and interesting talk with your therapist. Your attitude to pigeons is quite odd. They are homing pigeons darling, there is no reason to convert them.

In fact most pigeons sit on our great hero Nelson in London (somewhere in pom land) who with one eye scanned the universe.

I understand your creative spirit and could you create another glass please.

If this fails to answer your question I can give you links to my book. How to get nutrition from pine bark using a chain saw.

I wish you well and what was you account details? I just need them for my records.

[Cindy]

Dear Auntie Cindy I have a major conundrum . I'm irrefutably bisexual. My therapist is a close friend to me and I'm balancing  on the sharp edge of a knife trying to prevent myself from crossing the line of therapist to patient mentally . I also am finding myself attracted to the owner of a café I always go to and the separation of customer and owner relationship is mentally frustrating me because after a life time of solitude I finding that someone might be interested , but I really can't separate reality from desire. Then there is the absolute fact that I'm bi . I think about men way too much, but I haven't met anyone for a long time. I have a plan for when I'm ready to meet men , but I'm so confused that I'm afraid of the water.

Dear Stephanie,

I think you and Nelson's column should meet in a meaningful way. Of course transition is difficult, But the pigeons, Oh the pigeons, Oh, That is one big column.

<sorry ladies FBI here I'm special agent White asKnow, Aunty Cindy is being investigated for her interest in strange erections.

Oh that's a nice coat, no arms,, buckles in the back, sexy.

Mmmm canvas the new black.

Help, Help


I've gone forever.

[stephaniec]

," But the pigeons, Oh the pigeons, Oh,"

[Catherine Sarah]

OH DARLING AUNTY CINDY

(Yes I was shouting. I didn't get my finger stuck in the keyboards, as I frequently do)

Pigeons. Yes, of course, pigeons. We have them here. Currently a large flock are sitting on the bust of Tony Abbott in Ballarat doing the same thing pigeons always do. Probably the best thing that has happened to him yet.(Apart from being sacked as our Prime Minister. [Oh the heights we fall from])

Fear not, I've been cured. My creative spirit has not only created 1 glass, but 3 for you. (PM me if you need more.)

Thank you for the offer of your book, sadly, my chain saw wont work. I tried to do my nails earlier on and the damn thing wouldn't start.

As requested, account details.
Residence: Callen Park Sydney
Status: Confined and restricted inmate. (Never to be released)
Medication: OMG you wouldn't believe. But it comes in a concrete mixer every day.
Release date: 2525 (if we're still here that is, otherwise, plain and simply NO!!!!!)
Medicare No:  2544 7663 4513 7689 8473 0001 4295 8701 2015 9991 0011 0101 2764 and that's only some of them.

Fully recovered
Catherine