Is coming out Transgender in your lifelong community just not possible?

[Chrissy5946]

I think I know the answer, just looking for some feedback
Is it unrealistic to think a PO Transgender could actually be accepted in ones community ( it was born and raised in) and feel accepted?
I'm sure the answer is NO, I'm such a sap when it comes to society, I just assume they could handle it, but in reality they can't deal.
So, best to re-locate, fly under the radar, disconnect from most of your lifelong friends, and start anew?
Thoughts?
Love you
Chrissy


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[Oliviah]

Depends entirely on thecommunity and also how you handle the situation.   Some will some won't accept. You will lose some friends and make some others.

It is hard everywhere,  but manageable in most places.

[Jessica Merriman]

Transitioned in the same town I lived in all my life (Oklahoma on top of it all) all 2,200 of them where Friday Night High School football rules and kids take fresh deer kills to show and tell. If I can do it here no one, I SAY NO ONE can use the old I can't excuse. You are responsible for your life and them theirs. They cannot handle it see ya!!

[Qrachel]

Hi Chrissy:

In my experience it's not predictable.  I wasn't successful and truthfully didn't try after my wife and daughters rejected me from the get to.  I know several other individuals and couples who made it and many say they are stronger/closer than before.

It takes time, patience and a willingness to let folks work through their stuff.  For some that's harder than for others.  Some will never change their initial reaction, and some will and others will clearly start in a direction for the relationship and just keep going.  It's very individualistic. 

At the community level it seems much the same but the basic dynamic is different because the primary basis for community is built around a set of social dynamics and mores.  Here the interaction of one or several as a network of communication/influence is at play more so than one on one.  I was more careful with my community interactions as I transitioned (not sure that was helpful at all but that was my initial response), and I certainly had a good deal of the "ugly duckling" syndrome going on or at least anticipated from my perspective.  In time I realized society responded to me pretty much as I portrayed myself.  The more womanly I was the more womanly I was/am treated . . . go figure it took all that therapy to figure that out (  ).

What is certain is you can have a terrific life being who you really are, so welcome to being the real you.

Take good care and stay in touch here,

Rachel

[Pax Fidelis]

I left my hometown because I had these same fears. Granted, I'm only about 30 mins away, so I don't believe that counts as a startover completely. I go home frequently, and nobody seems to care. Most people are just curious. I could probably have stayed in my hometown and been fine. But for my own comfort and anxiety reasons, I chose not too. I felt it would be easier to find myself where many less people knew me. But I wouldn't feel comfortable giving you a definite "yes" on that. There's too many variables. Just because my small town turned out fine so far doesn't go for all of them.

[Cindy]

I was absolutely certain that I would be rejected and ostracised; it was my greatest fear.

I think two people refused to accept me; and interestingly they are now ostracised by their colleagues who totally accept me!

[Swayallday]

I think I know the answer, just looking for some feedback
Is it unrealistic to think a PO Transgender could actually be accepted in ones community ( it was born and raised in) and feel accepted?
I'm sure the answer is NO, I'm such a sap when it comes to society, I just assume they could handle it, but in reality they can't deal.
So, best to re-locate, fly under the radar, disconnect from most of your lifelong friends, and start anew?
Thoughts?
Love you
Chrissy


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I'm choosing to take small steps and let them accomodate accordingly. (dressing androgyn, voice, mannerisms, cliches x)
This way the social dynamic changes off the bat whilst they can't really pinpoint what is actually going on.
By observing their reactions in social settings and daily life... this way it's easier to discern whether you could tell them or not.

[jingling_void]

I guess it depends on the community?
I've moved away from my home town so not sure if I can be of any help?
If they don't accept you then that's their problem

[Kylo]

I didn't leave my hometown because trans, but because I've always had a wanderlust. I've lived in six different cities and different countries, dropping everything and starting again someplace else is therefore nothing to me. While I know some people really thrive in their home communities and some cannot imagine leaving them, or would be afraid to start over, let me just say... there's a whole world out there.

[Jenna Marie]

I'm sure it depends on the community, but I "transitioned in place" (including staying in the same job) and have had no problems whatsoever. The funny thing is, people have short memories for stuff that doesn't affect them personally - conversations five years on have shown that local librarians, coffee shop servers, etc. honestly don't recall and think my wife divorced "that guy" to take up with me.