Quick story about going out in public and being afraid

[abd789]

Ive been venturing a little deeper as the weeks go by, Im still in the afraid stage, but forcing myself to do it.
I try and be confident, head up, smiling... I do a good job but surely, not perfect.

so today I went out, girls jeans, andro black shirt, black sneakers, lavender bandana
I had my usual jewelry and eye shadow eyeliner. I think my body shape and curves leads me towards a quick glance as female, but you want that second look and well, you know what I mean

beard shadow and all the other gender buzz words

but I made an interesting observation

I was laughed at by 2 people
I was treated perfect by 5, that seemed to know what I was up to
I was IGNORED by at least 150 

so look at that.... I was sitting here and obsessing on the fact that I got laughed at twice, cuz that hurts, right?

but look at the other 155 people... no sweat!

Try this next time you're out

[Rachel]

That is a fantastic perspective.

[SofiN]

I love this way of looking at it. I am wearing all female clothes right now when out and about but not skirts or dresses yet. I've had a few laughs as well but most people don't even say anything despite it being extremely obvious that I'm trans.

I'm under the impression that most people just don't care about what others are doing when out and tend to just pass by without issue. I do the same thing myself for the most part when walking somewhere.

I've had quite a few people looking at my hips/butt area though which is weird.

[abd789]

I cant even say that the 2 people laughing were laughing at me.... I mean I think they were, but we dont know as it was just a look and a laugh, couldve been something else

[RavenL]

I cant even say that the 2 people laughing were laughing at me.... I mean I think they were, but we dont know as it was just a look and a laugh, couldve been something else

That's the thing about laughing we might think they are laughing at us but aren't. Just think if you were in full male mode and heard two people laugh I doubt you would give it a second thought. But for example me whenever I hear a laugh I always think its directed at me. I used to worry about it but now I think "Well I doubt I'll ever see them again, and they must have sad lives if they have to make fun of other people."