Dry Orgasm, HRT and Cycling Oestrogen

[JoannaJay]

Hi all this is my first post.  I'm a bit nervous about posting such personal stuff so I'm not using a picture for now. 

I'm 6 months into Oestrogen having been prescribed gel privately.   I take <Not Permitted> I take an extra one, as prescribed.

Change or loss of sex drive was always one of the reasons that I hesitated over transitioning.  Since being on HTR, I've never felt better about myself – I can finally look in the mirror without makeup and smile.

The psychological changes are mostly positive, as I feel more 'me', but of I do cry a lot and yet feel happiness at times that I've never had in my 38 years. On the whole I'm happy even with the hard parts of this.

My hormone levels reacted very quickly to the gel without any need for anti-androgens and at my 6 month checkup I wouldn't be surprised if my Tesosterone will be in normal female ranges while my Oestrogen levels were already high on my 3 month checkup.

I've been fine with the lowering of my sex drive.  I use to masturbate too much for my own liking and the whole body sensations I get now are just lovely. In fact in some ways, when in right mood, I'm MORE sexual than before, which I guess is why the climax matters to me. If i wasn't feeling anything to start with the orgasm wouldn't matter.

However I must confess to being a bit taken aback in the last 2 weeks or so by having had 4 dry orgasms.  Now I say taken aback because for some reason, of all the physical changes I've had and heard about, this one just went into my blind spot and I wasn't expecting it (yeah, I should pay more attention). 

I've tried to work out if there is the same sexual release as when 'wet' and have wondered that if I have to ask, the answer is probably not. Perhaps I just need to adapt.

I have no interest in using my penis for anything other than allowing me to orgasm occasionally and for a partner to play with if that's their thing and I don't' mind have little erectile function as such or a lower sex drive, but I'm guessing that the testes have just stopped producing fluid and I didn't know that the fluid coming out might be part of the pleasure of a genital orgasm.  I should say that my ability to have an erection when in the mood and relaxed is fine though not at virile male levels.

I've also had a steady mild ache in the testes for roughly the same time period and it's a little uncomfortable and noticeable at times.  What's going on?

A very experienced and I would say convincing trans friend of mine has cycled hormones, she says successfully (and she does have the goods) and I'm wondering if it's worth me trying it.  The Oestrogen has had quite a rapid impact on me in many wonderful ways, so I'm wondering what the dangers and potential benefits could be. 

Just for context, I'm not planning SRS though I can't say I'd rule it out.

I'm aware of threads such as https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=139174.0 and though it's great that the cycling was discussed, my dry O wasn't mentioned etc and the reasons that the posters thought it was a bad idea weren't clear to me. 

I'm seeing my Endo next month but really wanted some support before that.

Thanks in advance.


Mod Edit for dose and language

[Tessa James]

Welcome aboard Joanna Jay,

A mod will be by shortly for a formal welcome and some terms of service rules but self medicating and doses are frowned on.  I will say that having no discharge with orgasm is expect and "normal" after a few months or so on HRT.  I also agree the psychological changes and reduced libido are very welcome.

Have fun and thanks for sharing with us.

[JoannaJay]

Thanks for the reply Tessa.  I may well ask my Endo directly if he would support me in cycling if that was what I wanted to try.  In the past he explained to me that that kind of thing is mainly a trade off rather than a danger. 

I didn't say I would go against his advice but rather wanted to discuss my general feelings and the hypothetical concept of cycling hormones.

[Tessa James]

I have girlfriends who are also transgender that claim to feel monthly menstruation like cycling and some relate it to living with cisgender women or their mode of estrogen delivery.  I am on estradiol patches that produce a fairly uniform and consistent delivery and I feel less of the cycling they do. 

What would you consider the advantages might be to cycling?

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Hormones don't affect everybody the same place. In my case, blockers weren't available and my T production never shut down completely. Others who were transitioning reported many of the things you reported on the same dose of hormones. If you block T from the body it is possible you will see results like you are seeing. If a functional penis is desirable to you, it is possible your Endo can reduce your dose so you have enough T production to keep everything operational. Don't be surprised if it takes a couple of changes to reach the balance you want because each time dose levels are changed, you will have to wait for your body to find the new levels.

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[JoannaJay]

I have girlfriends who are also transgender that claim to feel monthly menstruation like cycling and some relate it to living with cisgender women or their mode of estrogen delivery.  I am on estradiol patches that produce a fairly uniform and consistent delivery and I feel less of the cycling they do. 

What would you consider the advantages might be to cycling?

The idea would be that I would start to produce a small amount of seminal fluid so that I can have a climax that is more familiar (albeit less frequent or heavy).  My friend did this 9 weeks on 3 weeks off and she said it seemed to work and she was a bit older than my 38 years when she started doing it.

[JoannaJay]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Hormones don't affect everybody the same place. In my case, blockers weren't available and my T production never shut down completely. Others who were transitioning reported many of the things you reported on the same dose of hormones. If you block T from the body it is possible you will see results like you are seeing. If a functional penis is desirable to you, it is possible your Endo can reduce your dose so you have enough T production to keep everything operational. Don't be surprised if it takes a couple of changes to reach the balance you want because each time dose levels are changed, you will have to wait for your body to find the new levels.

Thank you very much indeed for the considerate and thoughtful reply and I apologise for my potty mouth and the chemistry lesson. 

For some reason I am very scared of telling my Endo that I want to try this due to him perhaps thinking that I'm not serious about my transition.  He intimated previously that if one does this kind of thing it can cause less feminisation to occur. 
'
I just want to be able to talk to him about it without fear of being judged and helped to find that right balance for me.  The fact that my body has reacted so fast to E is a relief in so many other ways.

What of the aching sensations?

[Tessa James]

I think you have some good reasons to talk with your endo.  That aching is unfamiliar to me.  You can find some current and past discussions here about "low dose" HRT that some prefer for limited transitioning.  You are not alone in wanting to tailor a custom outcome but its tricky.  We are fond of saying "your mileage may vary"

[abd789]

Welcome

Im very happy that someone else is speaking frankly about their sexuality, I do feel its a important part for some of us

I cant answer questions as I dont know, but I can relay my experience

Lately I have been having dry orgasms myself and what a great feeling, its very different than any "male" orgasms I have had

I have also been blessed (or cursed... ) with "Squirting", and alot of it. Dry and Squirt "O's" are different in nature to me, but all enjoyable far more than manly ones. My penis is pretty much out of the picture these days and fine with me. I also have some sort of a vagina that comes into play after heavy arousal, its there but not as accessible until highly aroused, then its very capable of accepting what it needs to... and yesterday I found it to be squeezing a dildo in a freakishly authentic way

I am not on HRT

I have been drinking soy milk for 3 months now, I drink a little more than a quart a day, I also eat other soy snacks on occasion, I also drink spearmint tea. I think I am lucky to respond as well as I do to these as I havent made the dive to HRT. But I am very convinced that the mind and your beliefs can do drastic things... though that is frowned upon here, I think.... at least most people dont want me to think its possible... so be it. But I am changing and if its not the soy, its the belief....

I hope I didnt run away with your thread, my intentions were to speak openly as I havent seen others do so as of yet and happy to find that, thank you

[Dena]

Thank you very much indeed for the considerate and thoughtful reply and I apologise for my potty mouth and the chemistry lesson. 

For some reason I am very scared of telling my Endo that I want to try this due to him perhaps thinking that I'm not serious about my transition.  He intimated previously that if one does this kind of thing it can cause less feminisation to occur. 
'
I just want to be able to talk to him about it without fear of being judged and helped to find that right balance for me.  The fact that my body has reacted so fast to E is a relief in so many other ways.

What of the aching sensations?

This is a problem I was unaware of until I came to Susan's. When I transitioned, the non binary didn't exist. You went all the way or not at all. I have learned here that we come in all mixes with different ideas of our needs. I am demisexual and sex was always a release from the pressure of being transsexual. It wasn't something I craved. What I didn't understand is that most people aren't like me and have a pretty constant need for some form of sexual interaction. If you plan on having surgery, you need to understand that sex will be a good deal different than what you have now. If you don't want surgery, then you need to find a chemical balance that makes you comfortable. If you are seeing a therapist, that should be the only one who judges your state of mind. The Endo should take the word of you therapist and treat you accordingly. I would talk with my therapist before talking to the Endo about it should the two want to compare notes.

You might ask you Endo about your T and E levels because even a CIS woman has both in her system. Should you find your T levels are far to low, some adjustment may be needed to bring you to the correct levels. You may post the blood results for others to give you feed back on. Your Endo may be correct that Feminization may occur at a slower rate and that is one of the tradeoffs you will have to consider. Now days, treatment should be customized to the patients needs. Some people are highly sensitive to E and can get by on far less than others. You may be one who a lower dose would be a better option.