Staying positive.....

[DianneM]

Had a bad week ladies............my wife is now completely hostile towards me & says I have a 'mental illness' which 'needs treating', she has become verbally & physically abusive & I'm going to have to get out of the house soon. Very sad. I'm staying positive tho, cos I know that I'm on my path & there is no turning this girl back, you're never too old to transition!!!
Long live Dianne!!!!
xo

[Peep]

Stay safe though! Have you got somewhere to go? :/

[DianneM]

I should be able to find something short term to give me time to get an apartment.....thanks for your concern Peep
xo
Dianne

[gamerchic_kaylee]

I'm so sorry to hear that Dianne   Not too sure what to say, but I do know this ... life is to short to be around people that don't support you, or are mean/abusive.  You're making the right choice by staying on your path.  I know for a fact that you'll be better off, and happier not being around that women, and negative energy.

Good luck, and keep looking at the positive, there's always light on the other side of the tunnel.  Just drive faster

Hugs!

[Girl Beyond Doubt]

She is wrong.

[DianneM]

Thanks for the encouraging words.... Susan's place is truly a blessing and I'm so thankful to my wonderful therapist for guiding me here as I've found so much inspiration from everyone and the comfort of knowing that there are so many of us with so much common ground.....
xo
Dianne

[Asche]

Practical point:

Do you have an attorney?

If it looks like there's a chance that your marriage is breaking up, you absolutely need to talk with an attorney to protect yourself legally.  Especially if you're considering leaving the house, or she is pressuring you to.

[CassieH]

Hi Dianne,

While not defending your wife's actions,  was this a reaction to something which occurred?

If it was,  maybe she will calm down,  and maybe this is just her processing it?

The others are correct that you need to be safe,  and take the measures to support this but I just want to point out that it can take time for others to process what is happening to us.

I know when I worked out what I was (trans) the first thing I did was go to the Dr and ask for it to be taken away - I too thought I had a mental illness. I was wrong and it took me some time to process this.

Maybe in time she will start understanding it too.

Please be safe

Take care
Cass

[DianneM]

I have an appointment with an attorney early next week.

There was nothing in particular which happened to cause this except my coming out to her about 6 weeks ago. Her actions have been getting steadily worse.....
xo
Dianne

[CassieH]

I know the feeling about the reactions getting steadily worse.

My wife appears to be trying to ignore it -  hoping it will go away.

I fear I am heading down the same path as you.

You are not alone - take care

Cass

[HollyP]

Dianne
Been away, traveling for work, so sorry to hear.  Honey, glad you're holding up.  I get your plight, I am in the same boat at home, it just sucks.  Please take the high road when you can, stay out of the verbal emotional assaults.  While its wrong, I think the attacks on us are on the women who are taking their men away.  Does that make sense?  I left a huge fight this morning to go to therapy, and this is a bit of what we talked about.  And maybe I understand, but I am losing hope that we will stay friends, let alone married.  Guess I am deluding myself.  UNLIKE you, I have been more depressed, and doubting.  You are a role model for STAYING POSITIVE!!!  All the best to you, I'll write more in a week or 2 when things calm down.  Stay STRONG!!!  So proud of your resolve, and love who you are!  xo - Holly

[ChasingAlice]

Had a bad week ladies............my wife is now completely hostile towards me & says I have a 'mental illness' which 'needs treating', she has become verbally & physically abusive & I'm going to have to get out of the house soon. Very sad. I'm staying positive tho, cos I know that I'm on my path & there is no turning this girl back, you're never too old to transition!!!
Long live Dianne!!!!
xo

I relate completely and went through this starting the beginning of last year. I stayed until she she finally filed for divorce and two weeks later i was kicked out of my home by the judge.

What i know now is that if i had to do it over again I would have just left and moved on because the end was the same. It is not worth the emotional abuse. You will have plenty of that during the divorce.

Here is what happened to me. I came out my exwife and that was the end even though she is bisexual. That is when the emotional abuse started and it lasted for  awhile because i did not want ti lose my children. I lost them anyhow and have the states minimum visitation. The ex decided to start working the girls over and my relationship with them is strained at best.

Life is cruel to us. If you need someone to chat with i am willing.

[JoanneB]

I have an appointment with an attorney early next week.

There was nothing in particular which happened to cause this except my coming out to her about 6 weeks ago. Her actions have been getting steadily worse.....
xo
Dianne

I'd also guess no real followup discussions either. Just seething under the surface untill a full scale eruption.

On the plus side you pretty much know exactly where the marriage stands down the road. No agonizing over that like I often do. Not much solace but.... Best to know now how things will play out then dealing with the likely alternative of passive-aggressive behavior or otherwise butting heads while you are totally vulnerable. AKA, a partner, reality therapist, BFF, ally which now seems like a role she cannot fulfill. 

[kathb31]

Hi Dianne,

I love the strength that you have and the determination to find the right path.
I only told my wife about 4 months ago and we are still doing pretty well. We continue to
have good conversations (although at times kind of tense) about our situation and
where I'm going in life. She does just try and ignore things like the bras and panties
she finds around the house. Over all she's been pretty amazing.

All the best,
Kath

[lostcharlie]

Dianne, one more thing if your spouse is physically abusing you in most places YOU have the the law on your side. she's committing battery against you and most places can be jailed for it. protect your self ! if you have to have her locked up ... oh well.... it's on her. no one has a right to physically abuse you. side note is documented abuse on her part can be helpful to you in legal issues down the road.best of luck.

[DianneM]

Hi all.... Thanks for all the encouragement, support and love....I SWEAR I had replied to all of your posts individually but for some reason they are not showing ....sorry I guess I did something wrong or hit a wrong button!!
I'm hanging in and have a lawyers appointment Wednesday....Dianne is not going anywhere and I'm so excited about my future and my transition and nothing is going to dampen that! Cassie...never doubt yourself honey....each 'purge' and every delay in self acceptance is a waste of YOU and that time will never come back....don't let yourself suffocate. Holly...your posts always strike a note with me, you have a way of saying things which resonates and inspires....thanks!! Got to run and will update on my situation over the next few days.....
Love and hugs
Dianne
xo

[HollyP]

Dianne
You're sweet, thanks.  A bunch of replies disappeared including mine, but like life, it isn't going to shut me up, LOL! I am still on the road won't check in until next week.  GREAT POSTIVE VIBES coming your way this week and Wednesday.  I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes with the lawyers.  Good luck! xo - Holly

[DianneM]

Hi all....
So....I had a busy and a great day today..... I had therapy and then an appointment with a TG friendly lawyer . I will get to the therapy later. The meeting at the lawyers went real well and I feel okay about where I stand with regard to separation and divorce and also my sons well being. The lawyer is experienced with transgender clients and has basically told me that it will NOT be an issue in the process!
It is sad that we will be divorcing but it seems necessary and unavoidable in our case.

Now to the therapy...... I have my letter and my referral to an endo and will be making an appointment to see her tomorrow.....!!!!!! I'm so happy and excited that I have reached this milestone and I can't wait to start hormone therapy .... It's something  I've only ever dreamt of and now it's real......
Thank you all for the positive vibes and good wishes over the past week.....
Hugs Dianne
xo.......yaaaaaayyyyy!!!!

[Qrachel]

Great news . . . and yes there is sadness sometimes in the process.  It will pass in time.

Keep us up to date  . . .

Rachel

[autumn08]

Congratulations Dianne!!! Reading about your progress made my day.