Is there ever a "right time" to come out?

[Kiera85]

It struck me recently that I'm prone to saying to myself "I don't need to come out now, I'll do it when X" or "It's too risky to come out now, I'll leave it until Y." But there's always going to be another X and another Y, the situation is never going to be perfect. With that said, is there something to be said for going "Ah to hell with the consequences" and taking the plunge?

These are the concerns I'd have about coming out right now:
1. It would come as a surprise to my parents
2. My housemate would be shocked. I doubt he'd kick me out but he'd want me out ASAP and although I could afford a place on my own, it's not a great time for me financially speaking
3. I still have quite a bit of a beard after 7 laser removal sessions
4. Part of me still worries this is a phase I might get over or I'll be able to cope with not-transitioning.
5. I've only ever dressed in public once. Maybe that's not enough of a test.

1 and 4 are gonna be issues whenever and make-up will help me with 3. I guess 2 is my greatest worry. Not sure how much of a concern 5 is.

These are the concerns I have about continuing to put it off:
1. I can't get hormones until I convince the therapist I'm serious about this and well, I'm not getting any younger and my hair seems to be thinning a bit.
2. The longer I wait the more agonised I become. At least this would free me from that, whatever else it brings.

As regards losing friends and family, as sad as that is, I accept that if people only like me when I'm presenting a lie then I guess I'm better off without them.

[Peep]

At the moment I'm picking and choosing - I've come out to my parents and bf but no one else, not even my siblings. You could just start with your parents - if you trust them not to tell everyone in sight lol - and build up to your housemate. If you think they'll be shocked, you could drop hints or test the water by asking for their opinions on general transgender politics - it comes up in the news often enough to be casual about it.

I knew my parents were going to be really surprised, but at the same time i knew that they're quite progressive and pragmatic, and at the end of the day they don't only love me because of my assigned gender.

[Kiera85]

Thanks Peep. My mum will be take aback but probably be ok. My dad won't approve at all, but we're already kinda estranged so guess that might be no big loss. My best friend and one of my sisters knows already. But they were the only ones I was sure about.

[KristinaM]

Your best bet is to come out to people who you KNOW will be supportive first.  It will help build your confidence, and you can use them as sounding boards for eventually telling people who you are unsure about how they'll take it.  Obviously we're a great resource too, but typing out, "I am transgender" is so much less difficult than saying it in person.  Take the plunge with people very close to you, trustworthy people, or even just doctors.

And no, there's never really a good time, unless you've got a wife and kids to think about or something.  What this boils down to is that it's about you and your "problem".  When is it a good time to get cancer?  Never.  Pretty much the same thing with this.  Though admittedly less life-threatening in some capacities, heh.

Good luck!