I Want My Letter, ASAP!

[Tristyn]

So at my very first gender therapy appointment a few weeks ago, I immediately requested for my therapist to diagnosis me as having GID and gender dysphoria so that I may qualify to obtain the letter of recommendation to begin HRT. After nearly two hours of this initial consultation, he agreed to this diagnosis, collected any information he would need from me to include in the letter for hormones and asked me if I began searching for endocrinologists on my own yet.

On my second visit, I took the initiative to bring in some documents I received in an email from an endocrinologists' practice that, turns out, my therapist has a good reputation with. And this is super awesome and all...but when the heck can we get the ball rollin' here?! >.< I want to ask him more about the letter, but somehow we end up discussing more about my crummy financial status than the letter. But truth be told, from an unbiased point of view of my chicken ->-bleeped-<- life scenario, I think he is right for focusing on this more than the letter because in my situation I cannot even imagine doing HRT where I live. If I become self-sufficient, then HRT will be more of a reality. Other than severe health troubles like dialysis and lupus, my pops is the hugest gatekeeper of all to My Promise Land of Testosterone, so to speak. His exact, one time words, regarding this matter were, "If you ever try to do anything with this stuff, you're outta my house for good..." And I never brought it up since and this was back in July, I think.

But I still can't help and think, "Man, I sure can't wait to not just look man on the outside but to actually be man on the outside also, as I already am man on the inside and always will be and nothing will ever change this.....Only thing left to do now is to bring what's on the inside together, in union and in harmony with the disconnect I have always felt since time began for me, on the surface."

~Nixy~

[Mariah]

I know it can seem like it is taking forever, but it will happen. I so wanted mine within the second visit or so, but took a month of weekly visits for me to cover the ground we needed for her to have everything she needed for me to get the letter from her for HRT. Hang in there, it will happen before you know it. Hugs
Mariah

[Obfuskatie]

Mine took a little over a month, I had the initial forms to fill out, then an in person consult, a round of testing, and a final visit with all my forms and lab work ready to go for my Endocrinologist/Nurse Practitioner.
Were I you, I'd look into finding somewhere safe to live first, even if it's a shelter for LGBT youth. You aren't required to fight your dad on this, and the things you do have control over like if you ever come back to visit, will depend on how well he treats and accepts you. Let him have his power trip but you get to live your own autonomous life once you escape the hate swimming through your dad's house.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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[Nattiedoll]

Mine took the 3rd visit. I really had to be assertive to him and say I really needed this letter otherwise he would have just kept booking me for more appointments I didn't need.

[Debra]

Yep it's tough. My therapist wouldn't give me a letter for about 2 months after I started seeing her. And that was after I made a major trip to my grandmother's funeral en-femme as myself.

[Butterflylover3]

Both my letters for SRS only took one visit. Now if you're talking about hormones. It took me 3 visits.

[FTMax]

The first therapist I started seeing told me that she wouldn't be writing me any letters until she was satisfied with our sessions. She wouldn't give me a date or even an estimated date on when that would be. I had the option to start HRT via informed consent, so I took it and fired her.

I understand wanting to comply with existing standards and to cover your butt as a professional, but I don't think transition is something that you can apply a one size fits all filter to. I had no other mental health issues, I had supportive friends and family, I had already started coming out at work. I didn't appreciate what I perceived to be gatekeeping, especially having been on here and other trans forums online and knowing that her behavior wasn't representative of most therapists who work with us.

After I fired her I came on here, did some searching, and found 2 other online therapists that agreed to speak with me for my top surgery referral. Both agreed to work with me on the timeline that I wanted, but one was a fraction of the cost so I went with him. But both of them agreed that it would take no more than 6 sessions to get a letter for surgery from either of them. With the therapist I went with, we had 2 sessions before he wrote my letter. The third, I read the letter and confirmed that it was to my liking and he mailed me two copies. This was all done in 3 weeks.

I know it sucks to wait. I think the wait is beneficial for some people though. I had known I was trans for close to a decade when I came out. I had already been out socially for several months before I approached a therapist. With the exception of a small handful of relatives, I had no issues with people in my life supporting my decision. For a lot of people, roadblocks in these areas exist and the role of a therapist is less so to evaluate whether or not you're trans, and more so to help you come out and navigate your transition as easily as possible. Transitioning is tough and awkward. If I had had other concerns, I would've been fine with waiting a little longer for a referral if it meant that I'd have an easier time down the road.