Coming out With Friends

[RedheadWhovian]

Hi, everyone! Hope you're having a wonderful day <3

So almost all of my friends know I am transgender at this point, and all but one have accepted it and support me. I stand to lose the other one . But anyway, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how I physically, and slowly start to transition around them. I'll be starting HRT very soon, but I want to make the transition as slow and easy for them to handle as possible. How do I start to look more like the real me in public when I am with them, without shocking them? Should I start wearing my hair in a more androgynous look? Should I wear tighter jeans, more neutral shirts? Should I make my scent more feminine? Just wondering if anyone knows of any good tips for that. I'd like to be able to start becoming more of who I truly am with my friends as soon as I can.

[Laura_7]

Here are some resources on coming out:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

Well you might have a look at second hand stores and pick a few clothes there... womens jeans, sweaters, etc...

You might grow your hair out...
and you might use some nourishing products on your face (some people use coconut oil for example), and trim your eyebrows (carefully... from below, and check results often... or have them trimmed)...


*hugs*

[Candi.Krol]

and you might use some nourishing products on your face...

i discovered BB Cream, it's the no-make-up make-up, a day cream you put on after you wash your face just pick the one that is closest to your skin tone, omg it works wonders! also softens up your face and neck in both feel and looks

as to your question, I just went full-time overnight and I have a more extreme look, so do not listen to me lol

best of luck!
xox, Candi

[RedheadWhovian]

Here are some resources on coming out:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

Well you might have a look at second hand stores and pick a few clothes there... womens jeans, sweaters, etc...

You might grow your hair out...
and you might use some nourishing products on your face (some people use coconut oil for example), and trim your eyebrows (carefully... from below, and check results often... or have them trimmed)...


*hugs*

Oh thank you! I shall check this out! And what kind of jeans, shirts and sweaters could be considered feminine, but not blatantly? I'm definitely going to grow my hair out ^_^

i discovered BB Cream, it's the no-make-up make-up, a day cream you put on after you wash your face just pick the one that is closest to your skin tone, omg it works wonders! also softens up your face and neck in both feel and looks

as to your question, I just went full-time overnight and I have a more extreme look, so do not listen to me lol

best of luck!
xox, Candi

Ooooh thank you! I'm going to look up BB cream. Any idea where I could easily get it?

[Candi.Krol]

I think the one I use is Canadian, so for me it's local (and next door to my place) :
http://www.garnier.ca/en-ca/face-care/beauty/garnier/skin-renew-bb-cream-/bb-cream-miracle-skin-perfector
but I'm sure other brands will be as good I use the anti aging one coz I'm old

but I can not say enough good about it, I went to pick up a package at the post office and the woman kept looking back and forth at my ID and me and said what's your secret? lol

xox, Candi

[Sharon Anne McC]

*

So ... you gave the talk to them.  You are fortuneate that you lost only one.  Your circle of friends are keepers.

Now you want them to see you as female for the first time.

Or have they seen you female before and the talk was to explain the additional issues?

If that picture is you, then you are already doing quite well presenting as female.

Wear whatever is comfortable for you.

Yep, find good bargains at Goodwill and other charity retailers; Goodwill has half-price Saturdays every other week.  Such stores sell an entire range of fashion - skirts, dresses, tops, jeans, shoes. You'll find matching necklaces, bracelets, earrings.  Your female friends will be eager to help you learn feminine wardrobe.  Bring them on your shopping days for their help.  Experiment with clothing styles that suit your fancy.

Let your girl friends also be your guide to make-up.  Start with make-up that tends to be more on the subdued presentation and progress as you gain experience.  Appear as if you are wearing none and that you are showing your natural look. Go easy on the eyeliner, no loud red lipstick, no red circles for blush.  Let it all blend together lightly - practise at home.  No need to spend a fortune if you have a 'Dollar store' nearby; you can get in and out for $5 to $10.

If you are wanting to appear female, then try a female hair style rather than androgynous.  Browse style magazines; when you find something you like, let your girl friends help you choose a beauty salon, take that picture with you, and go for it for your first time.

Have you found your electrologist / laser tech yet?  You'll need to take care of business on your face.

You'll love the effects of ERT which will give you a true female scent as well as change your taste buds and heighten your sense of smell.  Experiment with new foods and spices.

You are on your way to a beautifull experience as female.

*

[RedheadWhovian]

*

So ... you gave the talk to them.  You are fortuneate that you lost only one.  Your circle of friends are keepers.

Now you want them to see you as female for the first time.

Or have they seen you female before and the talk was to explain the additional issues?

If that picture is you, then you are already doing quite well presenting as female.

Wear whatever is comfortable for you.

Yep, find good bargains at Goodwill and other charity retailers; Goodwill has half-price Saturdays every other week.  Such stores sell an entire range of fashion - skirts, dresses, tops, jeans, shoes. You'll find matching necklaces, bracelets, earrings.  Your female friends will be eager to help you learn feminine wardrobe.  Bring them on your shopping days for their help.  Experiment with clothing styles that suit your fancy.

Let your girl friends also be your guide to make-up.  Start with make-up that tends to be more on the subdued presentation and progress as you gain experience.  Appear as if you are wearing none and that you are showing your natural look. Go easy on the eyeliner, no loud red lipstick, no red circles for blush.  Let it all blend together lightly - practise at home.  No need to spend a fortune if you have a 'Dollar store' nearby; you can get in and out for $5 to $10.

If you are wanting to appear female, then try a female hair style rather than androgynous.  Browse style magazines; when you find something you like, let your girl friends help you choose a beauty salon, take that picture with you, and go for it for your first time.

Have you found your electrologist / laser tech yet?  You'll need to take care of business on your face.

You'll love the effects of ERT which will give you a true female scent as well as change your taste buds and heighten your sense of smell.  Experiment with new foods and spices.

You are on your way to a beautifull experience as female.

*

I'm sorry! I should have given more information. I have a lot of online friends and a tight group of local friends. Every single one of my online friends has accepted me, calls me Katie and some of them have seen me dressed up. All but one of my close friends have accepted me, but none of them have seen me dressed as the girl I am yet. My friends are just the best 

And yes, that is me. That is when I crossdress in private. I love it ^_^. And my goal is to slowly start looking more like that around my close friends. Thank you very much for the nice compliment!

Everything you've suggested and told me sounds so wonderful. Some of it may be a tad extreme if I want to slowly let my friends get used to it, but I've already asked my one female friend to give me a makeover and she said yes. I want to start dressing and appearing around my friends in a more feminine manner.

And oh gosh, everything about the HRT just sounds wonderful. It sounds like I can finally become who I am meant to be. What else is it like?

[Mariah]

You need to do what is most comfortable for you. If they support you, then they will most likely understand that even though it may still be a bit of a shock to see you dressed as your authentic self at first. Now having said that if your wanting to slowly ease them in then you might want to lean more towards something that is female attire, but more towards to the middle that isn't a skirt or a dress to start with If you where make makeup, then you might go a bit more neutral to where it doesn't look like you have any on or barely any on. I slowly went from going around in male clothes and then switched to something more androgynous before moving completely over to something that couldn't be consider anything but feminine. In the end follow your heart based on how you feel and what you think they can handle to start with. Hugs
Mariah

[ToniB]

Hi Katie when I stated to come out at Work my wife suggested that I start with Blouses that look like a shaped men's shirt but prettier and Woman's jeans once people got used to that I introduced more feminine clothing and now I wear just about what I want .That should also work with Your friends

[Obfuskatie]

IMO, your transition is for you, not based on your friends' comfort zones. Take the time you need to ease into it or go all out, you are the master of your destiny. If you want your friends to help you transition and can handle brutal and sometimes unhelpful feedback, bring some trustworthy people into your planning committee. Just remember that your life isn't guided by a democratic consensus, you're in charge.


     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[RedheadWhovian]

You need to do what is most comfortable for you. If they support you, then they will most likely understand that even though it may still be a bit of a shock to see you dressed as your authentic self at first. Now having said that if your wanting to slowly ease them in then you might want to lean more towards something that is female attire, but more towards to the middle that isn't a skirt or a dress to start with If you where make makeup, then you might go a bit more neutral to where it doesn't look like you have any on or barely any on. I slowly went from going around in male clothes and then switched to something more androgynous before moving completely over to something that couldn't be consider anything but feminine. In the end follow your heart based on how you feel and what you think they can handle to start with. Hugs
Mariah

I really respect that idea, but I guess easing it in for my friends also makes ME more comfortable. I can get very anxious and nervous about other opinions (Something I need to shake) so I think if I took it slow it would make it easier for all of us. Thank you for the tips! I am absolutely going to do subtle makeup.

Hi Katie when I stated to come out at Work my wife suggested that I start with Blouses that look like a shaped men's shirt but prettier and Woman's jeans once people got used to that I introduced more feminine clothing and now I wear just about what I want .That should also work with Your friends

Thank you so much for the advice! I'm so happy your wife is so accepting! ^_^

IMO, your transition is for you, not based on your friends' comfort zones. Take the time you need to ease into it or go all out, you are the master of your destiny. If you want your friends to help you transition and can handle brutal and sometimes unhelpful feedback, bring some trustworthy people into your planning committee. Just remember that your life isn't guided by a democratic consensus, you're in charge.


     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Very true! And wonderful advice. I need to work on being more okay with doing simply what I want. I'll just go at my own pace. And if they mean what they say, about accepting me, they won't mind. Also, we share the same name!

[TG CLare]

I began my transition at work but left before it got out of hand and too many eyebrows were raised. Where I worked was not a safe place at all personally to begin transitioning.

What I did was to begin with small things like shaving my arms. No one noticed and if they did, didn't say anything. I'd under dress if I felt like it and that could be risky if something happened to me and I'd need some medical attention or the worst case scenario, a trip to the local ER!

After a while, I began to thin down my eye brows and then add clear nail polish to the ensemble.

When I left, I told a few very close friends I was trans and the funny thing is, not one of them was surprised! Seems I had left enough "clues" that didn't fit together until I told them. They suspected but didn't want to say anything to me in case they were wrong and when I was ready, I'd probably tell them anyway.

It will take time for your friends to get used to the new look but after a while they'll adapt.

Love,
Clare

[Laura_7]

Oh thank you! I shall check this out! And what kind of jeans, shirts and sweaters could be considered feminine, but not blatantly? I'm definitely going to grow my hair out ^_^

Well I'd say simply give it a try.
Have a look at a mirror there... try a few things out... maybe have someone with you...
it can be a joy to wear some clothing knowing its for women, while the style is not too obvious...
and its possible to try out many different styles, like back pockets being higher or lower, making for different effects...
just have fun...


hugs