Came out to my two eldest kids yesterday!

[DianneM]

So, I came out to my two eldest kids yesterday! I had written letters to each of them, my eldest daughter lives in Canada so I called her & had to leave a message. I briefly explained that I had some major(!!) news that I wanted to share with her. I told her it wasn't bad & I wasn't dying or anything but that she should prepare herself for a shock when she read the letter which I was going to email to her. I got a text about 2 hours later, she said that her & hubby were out running errands & that she loved me & would support my decision!! She also said that she would have lots of questions once the news sank in but she wanted to let me know that she had read the letter. I was & am thrilled with her response & I know that she will be fully supportive when she understands more.
My eldest son still lives with me (late teens), so I spoke to him Saturday night & handed him his letter before bed. I asked him to read it through as many times as he needed & we would talk about it whenever he felt ready. We talked Sunday morning & he was still visibly shocked & bewildered by it all & was praying that it was all a bad dream. When he saw that I was serious about it all & was determined that this was my path & my only choice, he calmed down a lot. As the day went on he has asked a lot of questions & even started researching information on the internet. As things stand right now he is still wishing it wasn't true but is coming to terms with it & dealing with it all better than I expected. I'm hoping time & knowledge will help him understand further. Each of them knows that the other is aware of what is happening with me & I expect that they will talking a lot in the coming weeks. All in all I am very pleased so far & it's another weight partially lifted & another huge step for me as I was almost sick to my stomach worrying about it. I feel very good today despite my marriage breakup last week and I really feel that I have moved to another stage of my transition.
Hugs
Dianne
xo

[Tessa James]

Good for you Dianne!  That is a huge and courageous step.  While we can never really know the future and the results of such a disclosure you do have the moral high ground of being honest and telling your truth.  I anticipate they will admire you for dealing up front with such vulnerability.

As a late in life transitioner I had a number of friends and family that were troubled with what they felt had been years of my hiding and not "being honest."  Our kids can feel that same sense of non acceptance or even deceit might apply to other truths we might not want to deal with including their life issues.  Therefore demonstrating your honesty says loudly and by example that it is important if not imperative to accept ourselves with warts and all.

Walk tall girl, you own it!

[Jacqueline]

Dianne,

Congratulations. It is a tough step, I think. I only just came out to my oldest a month ago. I was illogically frightened to talk to her about it. (she is one of the leaders of the the Gay/Straight Alliance at her school - they include the whole set of letters LGBTQ..... and her best friend is a trans boy). Still, as a parent, there are different perspectives than toward peers. I am still closeted to most of my family (just my wife and 17 year old).

I greatly respect all of us who push forward and reveal themselves with potential risk.

Well done,

With warmth,

Joanna

[DianneM]

Thanks ladies......your warmth and kind comments help a lot..... I am beginning to feel really good about myself and who I am for the first time in my life.....!!
Hugs
Dianne
xo

[haeden]

That is truly amazing Dianne! Congrats! I am so happy that they were understanding

Sent from my A0001 using Tapatalk

[gennee]

Congratulations, Dianne!

[DianneM]

Thanks all! A quick update....my son told me this morning that although he is still trying to deal with my revelation that he will fully support me as he doesn't want me 'living in agony' .....it made me very emotional when he said that and we hugged.

[cindianna_jones]

I think that this speaks to your tutelage as a parent. You have terrific kids.

Cindi

[DianneM]

I think that this speaks to your tutelage as a parent. You have terrific kids.

Cindi

What a wonderful thing to say......thank you Cindi...!!

Hugs
Dianne
xo

[Tommi]

Dianne,

I give you a lot of credit!  I haven't yet begun any level of transition, I've only barely admitted it to myself, and the thought of telling my 16 yr old scares me to death.

[DianneM]

Dianne,

I give you a lot of credit!  I haven't yet begun any level of transition, I've only barely admitted it to myself, and the thought of telling my 16 yr old scares me to death.

Thanks Tommi.....it's definitely not easy I was a nervous wreck.......I'm really struggling today......my marriage breakup is really hurting now..... I knew it would be hard but it's really weighing on me.....

[Tommi]

Thanks Tommi.....it's definitely not easy I was a nervous wreck.......I'm really struggling today......my marriage breakup is really hurting now..... I knew it would be hard but it's really weighing on me.....

I can understand that!  Part of why I haven't moved forward myself is because while admitting it to myself and my wife, she told me if I choose to live as a woman I would lose her, and likely the children.  So fear of changing the status quo is keeping me stationary at this time...

[DianneM]

I'm very depressed right now and just trying to get through the day.....

[A to the T]

Cheer up everyone, its not so bad. Let's put it this way, if anyone chooses to leave and not be apart of your life because you choose to be who you truly are then your spending your life surrounded by the wrong people. You don't need people like that. It hurts and it hurts bad when they leave but it
shows you who they truly are. They must not be feeling the same way about you if they're willing to leave. You don't need to waste time with people like that and as for children, you fight for them and you show them who truly loves them. In time they'll come to find out whos truly always going to be there for them and who isn't. You don't want them repeating your mistakes by wasting their time and their lives with people who don't truly care for them like you did. You'd actually be setting a bad example for them. You'd also be making their lives harder by introducing that type of life style of suppression and sacrifices of your own self worth and happiness. Mommy and daddy did it why shouldn't I? You don't want that.

[A to the T]

I'm new here btw but I'm a very loving and caring person and if anyone feels like they need to just talk I'm here. My life was terrible as well so I know how it feels and that's why I'm here, to support those who also need it.

[Lillian_b_tv]

Congratulations! That is a HUGE step. I have not told my son yet. He is almost 8yr and im sure it will be confusing. But I think telling him will be the hardest. But Im glad that you were able to do it!