How long did it take before you went full time?

[shanetastic]

I still remember the first time I went out.  I started out just going to my therapist, there and back.  And I remember sitting in the waiting room, with cakes of makeup on-sooooo nervous, in a basically fully waiting room.  Just waiting for people to give me problems.  But the other shoe never dropped.  I remember after my session that night, I challenged myself to actually go somewhere else.  And I went to the bookstore right after, and actually bought a book.  With a credit card, so I had to show ID too.  But again, nothing happened.  Pretty much my early transition period was full of anxiety about doing things, doing them, then being suprised at the other shoe not dropping.  Looking back at pictures of myself from then, I still have no idea where that courage came from, but it is something that gives me a lot of strength and confidence.  I actually started full-time, then started laser, then started hormones a few months after that.

I remember getting my ears pierced and navel pierced in before I was on hormones too, and how that was a big thing.

I definitely felt like an unpassable back then.  The last step of my transition was really to move out to the east coast.  And I would say that's when I stopped passing, and started just being.

I mean, bad things happened occasionally on the way.  But I feel like for the most part my transition went pretty well.  I definitely owe a lot of thanks to my therapist, who was really almost my one woman support system at times.  I used to go in once a week, for about two years, just so I could talk.  Most of it wasn't even about being trans.  In fact in the end, trans, and the transition maybe took up 10 percent of our sessions.  And then I also had some kickass friends that I met about 3/4ths of the way through transition, who have never treated me as anything but another girl.

I don't know, I'm rambling.

I'm actually suprised how many people waited till after HRT to go full-time.  I felt like I needed to give myself time beforehand full-time, so I knew for sure it was what I wanted to do.  One of the best things for me was just sitting down before I started transitioning, and mapping out a timeline of what I wanted to do and when, and how much it would cost--and I think by going at a deliberate and careful pace, it has helped me immensely in adjusting.

Oh and I was 23 when I started HRT.

First off, that actually was a really good story and I really enjoyed reading a little bit about your life.  I have a sort of timeline set to my whole transition, but likely it won't ever work out haha.  Just how things are you know?  Either way, I wish I had the courage that you had to make the choice to just go out, but right now I know I'm not passable at all haha.  I'm working there slowly, and am trying to make it a gradual break in. 

Eventually, I'm going to leave this town, within the next year, so I'm really hoping I can have a decent life by this time next year.  Although, again, we'll see how everything works out.  I have a really good therapist for talking, but I think I'm her only "young" trans she has ever really seen.  Most of the others are older people in their 30's.  So it was something new with her as well, so we both had to adjust to a certain extent.  I normally go to her once a week or once every other week depending on how my schedule works out with hers.  I must say it's really nice when you have parental support, they have been paying for everything so far so I really owe them a lot. 

Okay, now I feel like I'm rambling haha.

But either way, I'm putting a lot of my hope on to the fact that I'm decently young, so I will HOPEFULLY transition fairly smoothly.  I have my parents support 100% of the way, so that really means a lot to me as they are a good buffer from time to time when I get down.  Either way this is rambling now so I'll stop.  Thanks for the reply though   Really appreciated. 

Posted on: September 08, 2007, 02:05:17 AM

After six or seven months on HRT, I couldn't pass as a male anymore so this is when I went fulltime.

tink

This is what I'm sort of aiming toward as well, although I'm not sure if it will work.  But if it did it would be pretty ideal because I wouldn't have really any connections anymore.  Most of my friends have moved and were not friends anymore and I only have a couple ones left here.  Of course, that will probably change when I move next year at this time. 

Thanks for the replies so far. 

Yeah, well, you will know when men awkwardly tell you "miss, you are in the wrong restroom" 

tink

Haha yeah, I think that would be a good indicator that your not passing as a male anymore too well .  Either way I bet that was nice for you to hear

[cindybc]

Hi Sarah, I also started two months before hormones. For me it was a must I was so depressed that I was making plans for suicide. Then I finally made up my mind and one morning I just walked out the door as Cindy and never looked back. I had one thing in my favor, that is I am small and shorter then many normal females and only weighed 119 lbs wet. But my facial appearance was rough as a cob and had  to practically put make up on my face with a trowel to cover up the five O'Cock shadow. Well since I'm an elder it took nearly two years before I got some of the desired affect from the hormones. Today I am happy to be what I am, old bats can't be to choosy. Well I have had some call me a witch to.

Sarah is a nice name. my manicurist where I lived before her name was Sarah. I really don't have that many personal friends, but that is by choice, I really feel uncomfortable with to many people around me, but I could say that I had 2/3 of the town where I live were good acquaintances, really there were some really nice folks in that town and they accepted me as whom I was presenting. 

I went to Clarke Institute twice to confirm my transsexuality and saw an endocrinologist twice to get a prescription for hormones and that was it. Outside of my regular visits to my shrink I did everything else, including getting all my ID's switched to me as who I am.

It took a lot of time to look for the best of cosmetics as well as getting a suitable facial hair growth retardant, by prescription only. Now there isn't a trace of my ever having had a beard. That was seven years ago when I started.

Nothing is done overnight nor is there any magical elixirs to magically transform you over night. It will take months or even years depending on age. The process of feminising is much faster in a young person.     

Cindy

[SarahFaceDoom]

Yeah while I have had pretty radical changes overall from HRT over two years, I wouldn't say it was much of what I didn't already approximate.  I don't think it made me more passable really.  Laser was probably the most important thing for me.  It was like resurfacing my face, ha.

And Cindy, ha, yeah I remember putting on like coats upon coats of makeup to hide five o clock shadow.  I've got makeup stains on one of my coats as a reminder.    Now I wear very little makeup, but yeah, I definitely remember.

That opening scene of transamerica where she's walking out of the house with the coated on makeup, and looking really paranoid, I think is something a lot of us can relate to.  Or at least I can.

[Jeannette]

I was never your typical masculine looking lad.  My physical features were always very androgynous.  I went fulltime one month B4 hormones.  I'm quite happy with my post-hrt results.  Have never had any kinda facial surgery done.  What you see is a mixture of good genetics and good old estrogen.

[cindybc]

Hi Ashley
You can be what ever you want to be if you believe in it hard enough. Yes it takes time but even for an old bat like me the hormones have done their magic on me and I am happy to be who I am. I never aspiered to be a beauty queen although that would be nice. What I do like is how my attitude and personality and my outlook in life has changed. I can see things from a different perspective, but I still have my bumer days, who can help but be bumed out now and again just be prepared for the outburst of unexpected emotions and savor them, both the positive and negative emotions. Such is the way the world is with it's peeks and valleys. Just don't throw in the towel girl, just keep marching.

Dang Type O's

Cindy   

Posted on: September 08, 2007, 03:31:13 PMHi Jeannette
Yes the five o'clock shadow is history and the hormones have done wonders at softening the skin so that I don't even wear any make up at all now, it has even softened the appearance of the aging process so much so that when I went to see my new Dr in BC here, she thought I was at least twenty years younger then I really was, "wow!" Talk about floating on cloud nine. ) I guess we all have our little trips into ego now and again. But then just yesterday when I went into the manicurists the little Oriental girl doing my nails nearly fell off her chair when I told her my age. I to was pretty well androgynous looking when I was younger and some times got carded as mam, especially on the phone.

Cindy

   

Posted on: September 08, 2007, 04:02:12 PMHi SarahFaceDoom

Passibility can depend much on atitude and personality. Working for 20 years as a Social Worker I learned this rather quickly even before I transitioned, but then that came easy for me because I have been an emphatic person most of my life anyway, I love working with people. See it's not just the outside that changes but also inside.

Cindy

[Steph]

I started HRT in March and I went full time 5 months later on August 8th.  The date Aug 8th was one that my employer and I agreed to, otherwise I would have been full time long before that and before starting HRT.

Steph

[shanetastic]

Thanks for all the replies so far.  Went out of town for a couple days so nice to read everything again and catch up

[Hypatia]

In my case, it took 18 months. A year and a half. I've been moving kind of slow, because transitioning while in this family is like driving with the parking brake on. I'd been planning to delay it for almost 2 years, because I wanted more laser first,* except that I was outed at work recently, which had the effect of accelerating my start of fulltime ASAP. If you're not encumbered by a family, you can move quicker.

*I have to wait 8 weeks in between laser sessions, the whole process takes nearly a year.

[ValerieMTL]

I didn't really have a date planned for going full-time, it just sorta happened naturally. I went from looking like a guy, to looking like a metrosexual / gay guy, to looking more androgynous. I just sorta found myself accepting the fact that I'm a transgirl and that I was ready to start presenting as such. I don't even consider myself full-time, I just consider it being me.

[Hypatia]

That opening scene of transamerica where she's walking out of the house with the coated on makeup, and looking really paranoid, I think is something a lot of us can relate to.  Or at least I can.

Oh dear god....  Been there, done that..  Especially the paranoid part.

Yes, I remember that initial phase. And also how I utilized it to train myself to consciously get control of fear, transform that adrenaline rush into positive energy, and develop mastery over self. It occasioned a valuable growth experience. Now I'm just an everyday woman and over time being me has replaced the fear and tension with ordinariness and confidence. Eventually, I suppose, it will become a ho hum routine, but for now it's still kind of exciting.