Depression is such a bitch.
It is like being madly in love, just the other way around.
Both make it almost impossible to see things as they are.
Both bring their particular delusional lens for you to look through.
What these moods also have in common is that they make you swing between thoughts and feelings of a certain polarity, reinforcing each other, seemingly forever.
I prefer the being-in-love feeling, thank you very much.
I have learned what I have to do to start the cycle, any day I want, any time.
I know that it is a somewhat delusional state of mind, but if I do not consciously decide on it, my brain will inevitably choose one for me, and it is not always one I like. Sometimes I let it run its course, though, just to have another new mood experience.
And then there are the reasons for my happiness and the reasons for my despair.
I am always trying to plant seeds for my future happiness.
When I know what I like, for example meeting many interesting people, I do little things that increase the probability of those good things happening, like joining a club or association. When I like positive interactions with my work colleagues, I think about what makes them happy, what I can do in everyday workday life to make them feel better (without being obvious, of course).
You must do something to pull yourself out of it, but think bigger. Much bigger.
You be the bitch that shows depression its place.
Don't know if this helps. Maybe you must reach my advanced age before you can pull off something like that. Maybe you are sparkling bright and can pull it off whenever you want. I don't know.
Most people don't even get what I am talking about.
