Some questions are post-op arousal and masturbation

[leviathans]

Hi everybody,

I had surgery 2 months ago with Brassard, things have healed pretty fast and lately I've been experimenting with masturbating but I'm having some issues/concerns. I wonder if some fellow post-op MtF might be able to help me.

1) My most sensitive zone is not the clitoris but the mons pubis (area right above the vulva). I'm not sure why. When women talk about masturbation and sex, they always refer to the clitoris, I have never heard any woman say that they masturbated by rubbing the mons pubis. Is this normal because it sounds abnormal to me and makes me feel bad about my body. Will the clitoris gain more sensitivity over time?

2) The clitoris is really hard to get to, it's hidden too deep inside my body even when you stretch open the minor labia. I can barely get my finger to the tip of the clitoris and I would never be able to fit something big like a magic wand directly on the clitoris. This makes stimulating the clitoris not so easy. Is this normal? Is the clitoris going to come closer to the surface with time or will it always be like this? This seems like a problem, for example, I can't imagine ever being able to receive a cunnilingus with the clitoris being so far inside my body.

3) The other annoying issue is that whenever I masturbate (either rubbing the mons pubis or the clitoris), I can feel something, then boom numbness. When I stop for a couple of seconds, it comes back again. It's come and goes constantly so I am unable to orgasm because of this. Is it something that naturally happens to every women or is it something temporary that will go away once the body heals more?

4) What's really annoying above all is the fact that often I get involuntary contractions from either the pc muscles or the clitoris (I'm not sure) when there's a lot of heat in the room or when I'm covered up a lot with clothes. It seems like heat and compression (from clothes) cause me to feel genital arousal and things twitches down there. It's very annoying because sometimes I'm in a bad mood and then bam contraction down there to reminds me that I'm horny and should masturbate but it's not the time and place. I always had a high libido and androcur and SRS didn't change that so I always have had a need to masturbate that's very pervasive but this twitching is really the worst. Is this normal and temporary due to scar tissues or something? Am I the only one with that problem? Could this just be due to not having orgasmed for more than 2 months (which is pretty insane from my point of view) ?

That's for reading this 

[Catherine Sarah]

1) My most sensitive zone is not the clitoris but the mons pubis (area right above the vulva). I'm not sure why. When women talk about masturbation and sex, they always refer to the clitoris, I have never heard any woman say that they masturbated by rubbing the mons pubis. Is this normal because it sounds abnormal to me and makes me feel bad about my body. Will the clitoris gain more sensitivity over time?

It may take 6-9 months for the site to fully repatriate. There no doubt would be considerable residual swelling, which will hamper any sort of activity. Give it a few months more, for it to settle down

2) The clitoris is really hard to get to, it's hidden too deep inside my body even when you stretch open the minor labia. I can barely get my finger to the tip of the clitoris and I would never be able to fit something big like a magic wand directly on the clitoris. This makes stimulating the clitoris not so easy. Is this normal? Is the clitoris going to come closer to the surface with time or will it always be like this? This seems like a problem, for example, I can't imagine ever being able to receive a cunnilingus with the clitoris being so far inside my body.

Same thing. After the major invasive surgery you've just undergone, expect your entire pelvis area to take 12-18 months to get back to where it was. Your total shape, tenderness and feelings are going to be shifting targets for some months yet.

3) The other annoying issue is that whenever I masturbate (either rubbing the mons pubis or the clitoris), I can feel something, then boom numbness. When I stop for a couple of seconds, it comes back again. It's come and goes constantly so I am unable to orgasm because of this. Is it something that naturally happens to every women or is it something temporary that will go away once the body heals more?

Masturbation is going to be quite a different experience, gauged on what you may have experienced in your previous life. Expect to take longer to get to orgasm, and expect to use a variety of erogenous zones to get there. Also, not all your nerve endings have found home as yet, so thing will continue to develop round your pelvic area for a while to come.

4) What's really annoying above all is the fact that often I get involuntary contractions from either the pc muscles or the clitoris (I'm not sure) when there's a lot of heat in the room or when I'm covered up a lot with clothes. It seems like heat and compression (from clothes) cause me to feel genital arousal and things twitches down there. It's very annoying because sometimes I'm in a bad mood and then bam contraction down there to reminds me that I'm horny and should masturbate but it's not the time and place. I always had a high libido and androcur and SRS didn't change that so I always have had a need to masturbate that's very pervasive but this twitching is really the worst. Is this normal and temporary due to scar tissues or something? Am I the only one with that problem? Could this just be due to not having orgasmed for more than 2 months (which is pretty insane from my point of view) ?

Involuntary contractions and nerve endings reconnecting, blood flow and your mental state (stimulated / non stimulated, consciously or not) again will play a part of these funny happenings. sensitivity of adjacent organs / tissue may also add to the mix.

Keep exploring and find out what works and what doesn't. All your stitches should be secure enough to allow a little exploration. Remember too, your brain is your biggest sex organ. It orchestrates the whole show.

Keep up the good work. It's obviously working.

Speak to you as soon as I've finished watering the garden.

Huggs
Catherine 

[leviathans]

I guess it's just a matter of healing then, that's reassuring. So far all my worries have always been debunked since GRS, I though that my labia couldn't open but Dr. Belanger actually showed me that I was wrong at my 1 month post-op appointment. I can't wait to be able to get off, it's really hard emotionally to be physically aroused everyday and not be able to calm it down. It sounds ridiculous but I consider this to be the second hardest thing I had to deal with from GRS (the first thing being the whole intense pain and suffering from the first week of surgery).

[Jenna Marie]

There are women who do masturbate by rubbing the mons; the reason is that if the clitoris is too sensitive to touch directly, rubbing above it makes the hood of the clit move back and forth over it, stimulating it more indirectly. My wife sometimes does this (and likes me to do it) so I've seen it work.

You have to wait quite a bit longer for the swelling to go down; Brassard told me it would be about a year, and in reality it was more like TWO years before all the residual swelling was gone. The clit for me was buried that deeply as well - though I was still able to stimulate it indirectly and that turns out to be what I want most of the time anyway - because of swelling surrounding it.

The numbness can happen to cis women from overstimulation, but the way you describe, it's probably just the nerves still figuring out what they're doing. That should get better too.

This, I don't know about; I had a low libido before and still do after.

2 months is REALLY early in the healing process. At that stage, basically everything is constantly changing; as soon as you're used to something, it'll change.

[Blush]

Too soon.

[Butterflylover3]

Two months? That is to early, you are still healing. I was told by my surgeon to wait 3 months before doing anything sexual down there to my lady parts.

[Girl Beyond Doubt]

Two months after my surgery the clitoris area was still a bit swollen, tender and painful to the touch. Indirect massaging and rubbing was still more painful than pleasureable. Another three months later I had my first orgasm from rubbing the mons pubis and massaging my labia majora next to my clitoris. Now, half a year after that, the mons pubis area is very much insensitive and all pleasure comes from sqeezing and working my labia. The clitoris itself is still too painful to touch directly with my finger, but somehow when I touch it and rub it with a soft toy, I am genuinely impressed.
Give it time, it will change and may become much better. Keep working it, though, so that the nerves are stimulated and encouraged to reconnect.

[leviathans]

Thanks everybody for your response, it's very reassuring, I tend to always over-dramatize. I guess it's really too soon and things will get better over time. The vulva looks really nice right now so I probably overestimated how healed I am.

Two months? That is to early, you are still healing. I was told by my surgeon to wait 3 months before doing anything sexual down there to my lady parts.

Dr. Bélanger told me that I could do it. It's just vaginal stuff that I have to wait until 3 months.

Two months after my surgery the clitoris area was still a bit swollen, tender and painful to the touch. Indirect massaging and rubbing was still more painful than pleasureable. Another three months later I had my first orgasm from rubbing the mons pubis and massaging my labia majora next to my clitoris. Now, half a year after that, the mons pubis area is very much insensitive and all pleasure comes from sqeezing and working my labia. The clitoris itself is still too painful to touch directly with my finger, but somehow when I touch it and rub it with a soft toy, I am genuinely impressed.
Give it time, it will change and may become much better. Keep working it, though, so that the nerves are stimulated and encouraged to reconnect.

It's nice to know that you were able to orgasm from rubbing the mons pubis, this means I probably will be able too. It's interesting that the mons pubis stopped being your pleasure zone with time, I wonder why. Okay then, I will continue masturbating. I just need to keep it short, otherwise I focus too much on orgasm and end up frustrated. That's what happened on Monday, I spent 45min masturbating and the constant edging due to my inability to orgasm put me in a horrible mood. A little 10min one or two times a day is really the best for me to deal with my libido since I can't orgasm.

[SorchaC]

I only tried to orgasm once and that was 3 months post op, I too rubbed the mons pubis because there was no way I could touch my clitoris, I'm coming on 8 months now and it is only just touchable directly without me getting really strange sensations. 

I am sure things will settle down and you'll solve all these things in your own way, We learn one way of achieving orgasm as children then do this and have to learn all over again 

Hugs

Sorcha 

[Butterflylover3]

If your doctor is okay with it, I say have fun! I can't wait to explore it myself. Couple weeks after surgery I was super horny lol can't control myself. I was being a good girl and didn't touch myself at all but I did noticed some discharge from my pussy. Very sticky. Lol this prove I can sure orgasm. I'm almost 2 months post op now and haven't been horny at all since I been home. Very strange. Lol

[OCAnne]

Hello, what exactly is that sticky stuff?  I have had two wet dreams both 3 months apart and that stuff was everywhere.  When I get aroused it makes a mess.  I think it also smells.

No orgasm yet, don't want to break it.  I do feel close to going over the edge when I touch myself! 

[SorchaC]

Hello, what exactly is that sticky stuff?  I have had two wet dreams both 3 months apart and that stuff was everywhere.  When I get aroused it makes a mess.  I think it also smells.

No orgasm yet, don't want to break it.  I do feel close to going over the edge when I touch myself! 

I had an orgasm and fluid came out which was very sticky smelt too and came from my uretha I saw it once described on here as the fluid that helps semen come out when a male orgasms and that's about how it felt but after it has had time to dry off so to speak all you'll get is sticky smelly mess. Hope that helps

Hugs

Sorcha 

[Debra]

There are women who do masturbate by rubbing the mons; the reason is that if the clitoris is too sensitive to touch directly, rubbing above it makes the hood of the clit move back and forth over it, stimulating it more indirectly. My wife sometimes does this (and likes me to do it) so I've seen it work.

THIS ^^^ . I definitely rub that area when masturbating and when my husband has used a wand on my clitoris directly it is quite a powerful difference in sensation.....in fact overpowering.

That being said, what some have said about 2 months , I agree with. So much will change over the next year. I didn't really masturbate much (or orgasm at all) until 1-2 years after.

I had an orgasm and fluid came out which was very sticky smelt too and came from my uretha I saw it once described on here as the fluid that helps semen come out when a male orgasms and that's about how it felt but after it has had time to dry off so to speak all you'll get is sticky smelly mess. Hope that helps

Yes! Lots of fluid comes out of me when I am sexually active. It's helpful but not completely enough when having sex...we still add extra lube as well. I find it is helpful with dilation though.....so I tend to masturbate before dilation (but I still use lube too).