hi, this is going to be lengthy and English is not my first language :x bear with me.
i'll go by Gio. i just turned 27 in the wasted weekend ever a few weeks ago. i was born biologically a female and always feel odd my entire life. it's not easy when you were born and raised in Asia, which is quite conservative and close minded. i don't get access to resources or information about what i am or who i am at the time.
i tried hard to get in an exchange culture program to go to the U.S., it was 6 years ago and totally a game changer. i just feel like i grow up a bit, can be my own person, dress how i want. what makes me comfy is to be in boy clothes. i just thought i was a tomboy, not butch enough, so people usually call me soft butch or baby butch due to my baby face. i feel different, even when i'm in a relationship with a girl, i don't feel like girl-girl. so i identified as a genderqueer since, trying to blind myself i'm not trans. because it feels like suicide if you're a trans living in Asia. it's not safe.
i came back to the States a few times as my previous company really appreciated my enthusiasm and helpful attitude. they kept sending papers to invite me back. they were in a different area so i couldn't apply for my internship. the last time i was back for an internship, i got a new company, they screwed me over :[ they did a lot of avoiding taxes and all the bad stuff. i guess a friend of me and i figured that out. we are both interns at the moment. they cut our paperworks and tried to deport us like asap to cover our mouths.
i got myself back together after that incident, and a few more incidents that almost took my life away from me. i just think God saved me a few times by now, i just have to keep fighting and be honest with myself.
so i came out to my parents over the phone 8000 miles away that i'm a trans (FTM) and i'll go through a full transition sooner or later. it was the hardest thing to do but it felt right to let others know. i felt relief they accepted and supported me along with my friends.
this is like the second forums i joined in my entire life. lol :x the first one i remembered i google girl has feeling for girl (my English was so bad at the time. lol). i ended up on a bisexual forum. lol. at the time i knew i was a lesbian, and thank goodness the site has tons of information over the years and a safe place for others to share the feelings and have someone to talk to.
now that i know what i am. i'd want to share a part of me and make new friends too ^^' that's why i'm here. i've been told i'm an honest and nice person. so hit me up :DD
still not sure where life would take me, hence the username. but right now i'm happier when i start to go to therapy. hopefully i'll start T somewhere next year and who knows.
