Anyone here shift between feeling male and female?

[insideontheoutside]

I can sort of relate to this, even though I don't consider myself an androgyne, I am most definitely androgynous, I'm male in my mind, and in daily life I am mostly female (since I never went through any "transitioning" dealing with work, etc. I have to use my birth name, which is female). I gave up awhile ago with feeling "mixed up" about it and just accepted that this is who I am. I'm kind of lucky in that I can switch between outward appearances and roles.

since most of my friends/anyone i really care about opinion-wise know and don't care when i'm in male mode. being born female i suppose helps too since its more accepted for a woman to dress manly than reverse...

And I find this very true - if I'm in "female mode" but dressed like a guy, people seem to accept that just fine. Especially where I live where there seems to be a high percentage of the female population dressing in more androgynous attire (think fleece, flannel, cargo pants/short ... "outdoorsey" stuff).

[Fenrir]

Most of the time I'm fairly in-between, but I do get times when I feel male or female. When I get dysphoria attacks it's usually either towards wanting to look neutral or male. It's odd because I always feel inconsistent, wanting to correct pronoun use different ways on different days and all that, so I tend to just encourage people gently towards the neutral 'they' and 'person'. Talk more about it when less tired. 

[Lexine]

I've identified myself as bigender to a lot of friends and colleagues and it makes a lot of sense to them given the polarity of my moods. From what I've read it's something that is still being newly discovered and I was surprised at how there's really little to read on it on the web. I know that I'm very comfortable being biologically a boy but I like being able to express myself as a girl too. I know it's not just for the thrill of it, as I seem to slip into being a girl naturally moreso than most... and I know that I'm not androgyne because I like being polar in terms of my visual expression with fashion.

[Brin]

As a counterpoint to Marq and Mia, I wanted to point out that not all who identify as bigender are multiple systems. I shift from feeling male and feeling female, but I am still me the whole time. What does change is the image I present to the world, via clothing, gesture, voice and gait, but I carry with me the same thoughts, beliefs and experiences whether I'm presenting as Paul or as Brin.

I can feel female, even in my male presentation, or male in my female presentation. The gender I'm identifying with is purely mental, although, I prefer the presentation to match up when possible. However, I almost never feel like a mix of the two, and only very rarely have any kind of ambiguity in my presentation.

The one thing I've learned in 6 months of bigender.net's existence is that there's more than one way to be bigendered. (Please know that I don't mean any offense to Marq/Mia, any other bigender-identified multiple systems, people who feel and live the way I do and choose another label, nor do I propose to speak for any bigender person other than myself).

[rite_of_inversion]

Thanks for telling me about bigender.net.

I'm the same person...but this A/G thing is so...new to me, that it is as if there are two parts of me having a conversation in my head about what to put on.
But I'm honestly thinking this is part of the process of, well, integrating something I hadn't consciously acknowledged, and that over time it'll be less like a male and a female part having a conversation.

Hehe, my male side, not just a jungian animus anymore!

I'm inclined not to get into picturing myself as bifurcated, I already have a dissociative disorder, we don't need to pile an alternate personality on top.
I feel less vulnerable in men's winter clothing, like I'm sort of my own knight in shining armor, while men's summer clothes are just generally made of better materials, and cost less.

The clothes make the A/G? *shrug*And my recent must-get-haircut obsession, don't even ask.....
I'm a mass of conflicting impulses and mini-obsessions ATM...it's most annoying.

[clairezoey]

im a lesbian girl that trap in man body..hahaha

i be a man when i play football. but at night when i go to club i be a drag queen hahaha

[Virginia]

I'm a mass of conflicting impulses and mini-obsessions ATM...it's most annoying.

Wow, does this hit home for me. I just started noticing this about myself but it is has been almost unbearable for my wife for months. There two ways to look at everything, whether it matters or not. I can't give a straight answer about anything anymore. It's like my male and female selfs are trying to talk over each other. I'm so busy trying to form an opinion I forget my wife is even there! I have got to learn to regain my balance like I did all those years I kept my female self locked away.

[28BROOK]

My life is like a river winding between two territories - male and female and trying to understand why. Some periods in the female territory are short perhaps only a few minutes of what feels like insanity while others seem to wane for days as I struggle to live the life of my male body.  One of those moments of insanity was trying on my mother in laws body shaper which I evidently stretched for she let me know I had done it. 

I've always felt strange working around or with women, particularly those of my own age. While I find them attractive I find myself now understanding that I wanted to be one of them.

I recently read Lynn Conway's articles transgender and I came to Susan's Place while looking for info on bra sizing as I decided the gynecomastia I've had since childhood might feel better wearing a bra.  I would like to understand better why I have the fluctuations between male and female feelings as well as if physical conditions I've endured all my life were due to a form of transgender mix at birth.

I'm too old to do SRS and my physical appearance would not feminize too well.  Although at the moment having a fully operating female genitalia would be a blessing just for going to the bathroom. 

[Janet_Girl]

...
I'm too old to do SRS and my physical appearance would not feminize too well.  Although at the moment having a fully operating female genitalia would be a blessing just for going to the bathroom. 

Who told you that you are too old for SRS?  For the most part no one is too old.  Health reason may not allow it.  And some choice not to for their own reasons.  But you are never to old.

[Almond]

for the past year or so, I've been internally feminine all the time. that's just who I am now.

I tried thinking of myself as both male and female at different times, but it made me feel constantly out of sorts... like I was floating adrift. it took me a while to really appreciate how differently my self-concept is from my presentation. when people look at me they don't see a girl... and that's not always a bad thing.

[28BROOK]

Little things -  eating popcorn or chips and finding I am eating them one chip or kernel at a time like my wife, rather than wolfing them down like a I  do when feeling normally male.   Hand movements when I am doing certain things get different when I am feeling feminine.   Emotional tears while watching something moving or reading something moving  when other times it wouldn't bother me.  Getting pissed when I am in male mode - this is freaking out my significant other because when I am in female mode I'm not exploding over things.

Brook

[Bombi]

yes. About a year ago I settled that I was essentially bigender and an androgyne. I have just one personality that shifts between male and female. The shifts can happen anytime and last as long as a month or so. When that occurs I seem to gravitate towards apparel that represents the gender I am feeling. For a long time I thought I had a split personality as my behavior can vary with the morphs Luckily I found other people who identify as bigender and through communication have come to the realization that, no, I'm not mentally ill that I'm just dealing with what my mind presents and expressing them. It has been a long strange trip but everyday I feel more secure about who I am. This forum and bigender.net has helped immensely and so have all of you. peace

[noeleena]

Hi,

Interesting ?. 

Tho for me im wired both ways . you really do need to know who you are on the inside . for me that was easy.


For me it was not about the clothes as in dressing to be like a female , it was from very early i totaly hated male clothes , of cause now  my clothes are womens & yes that denotes me as a woman . thats the out side taken care of .

Its when you look deeper in side how your wired ,   that i knew from age 10  as a child ,  names had no meaning at all .

You just know.   to a certin point i swing back & forth. & im comforable with that , its never been a detail iv had to contend with just knowing who you are & what you are.

There is one thing i did not understand tho i was never a real male . this sort of buged  me i get so far like i understand males & then the door slams shut like im not ment to know . so i never related to males nore do now .

The other side i relate fully with women tho there is just one miner detail that ill never be able to do...yes my pet subject i dont have my ...WOMB...thats the hurtfull part  my loss . other than that im happy,

Having had s r s  & b a    07  & im 63 now is it to late no,    nore is it for others who are around my age ,

except my looks now thats another matter & really its not a issue , because iv been accepted as a full woman .
so what more can i ask.
& it does take time to under stand your self,    dont be in a hurry just find your true self & if you can  enjoy the trip .

...noeleena...

[Brent123]

Yeah I understand completely. Some days I want to present as male, and other days as female (though those occur less often).

[Alex201]

Yes...all the time. And the funny thing is....whatever kind of music I am listening to seems to effect it!!

[ativan]

There is shifting, with genderless being the normal most of the time. There are times when I seem to be not so much either/or but rather a wider range that I can feel the outer edges of. There have been times where both male and female (as I perceive them) occupy me. This is confusing and conflicting most times. I suppose that happens because I'm really not sure what either are beyond the stereotypes.
I tend to think of myself as more female than male, maybe because I know how disgusting males can be. I'm bio male, present as male around the 'guys', and can be very testosterone driven. OK, way to driven. But I feel more like a girl who will kick your ass, than a guy who puffs his chest out as a threat.
I'm pretty sure that I'll be starting a low dose HRT (now I've jinxed it) next month, I've passed the tests and jumped through the hoops. My objective for now is to stop or slow the T driven attitudes. Who knows though......I just know the dysphoria around this has to stop. It gets out of control and when it does, so do I.

[brainiac]

For me, it's between male and androgyne, not female. But I don't think I'm bigender, just somewhere a little bit sticky on the scale.

[Vanessa_yhvh]

I alternate, and in almost any condition I feel simultaneously rather feminine and masculine in sort of a gender stew. I'm quite comfortable at this point identifying as bigender and genderqueer, although I happen to be transitioning MTF.

[Constance]

I oscillate a lot myself.

There are times when I feel like I'd like to present more as female than as my birth sex.

I find that when I'm home alone, I'm prone to dress in skirts and the like without bothering with makeup and breast forms. The genderqueer thing really works for me. But, I don't quite feel that such an expression is "safe" out among the great unwashed general public.

[Vanessa_yhvh]

I wore a suit to work this morning w/o makeup, to the complete freak-out of the entire office.

A co-worker said, "You look like an FTM."