One more question for extra brownie points-
Bigender individuals have the unique and astounding ability to change from one binary gender to the other.
So, please tell us.... What is the REAL difference between being a boy and being a girl?
The difference is very clear to me because of my ability to dissociate enables me to stand far enough away from myself to observe the difference between my female alter and me. The Only Difference Between Men and Women Is the Way Their Mind's Process Reality.
1. At what age did you become aware that you were both a man and woman in your gender identification?
48
2. Are you a natal male, a natal female, or were you born Intersex?
Male, normal XY karyotype
3. Do you use a male name and a female name, and if so how do you usually introduce yourself to others?
I use the male name I was given by my parents at birth.
My female alter uses a name she chose for herself
4. Have you ever, or do you currently maintain two wardrobes - one for each gender?
Yes
5. Is your mental gender male or female most of the time, or are you each gender an equal amount of time?
Neither. Regardless of whether my female alter is living her life or I am living mine, my mind switches between the five alters in my System as necessary to respond to the different life situations I encounter over the course of the day. She and I are the two strongest identities in my System so we are present the majority of the time, but the switch often happens without either of us knowing. This unawareness is part of why dissociation is such an effective coping mechanism for trauma. Neither the victim nor the perpetrator is aware of what is happening.
6. With what frequency does your mental gender change? (hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, every few years)
My mind switches between alters a thousand times a day as necessary to respond to different life situations.
7. Have you ever thought of yourself as having two separate personalities, a male persona and a female persona?
Yes, I have Dissociative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder (DID/MPD) as a result of childhood sexual and psychological abuse.
8. Do you have conscious control over your gender changes, or does your gender change entirely on its own?
No conscious control. Another reason dissociation is such an effective coping mechanism for trauma, the decision of who is fronting is made by my Inner Self Helper alter who coordinates the activity of all the other alters in my System for the good of the Self. That said, all of us in my System are experts at pretending to be each other. This enables any one of us at any time to seamlessly step without recognition. Again vital so a perpetrator would not be aware of what is happening.
9. Do you enjoy changing from one gender to the opposite gender, or is it an annoyance to you?
I am alive today because of my ability to dissociate. It is a horrible existence that requires exhausting mental effort to maintain two separate lives bridged with time/memory loss, unending night terrors and flashbacks of the trauma I experienced as a child, and living with the way the scars affect my life and relationships today. It is living hell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
10. How long do you remain in each gender mentally? (minutes at a time, hours, days, weeks, months at a time)
Minutes, hours at most. My mind switches between alters a thousand times a day as necessary to respond to different life situations.
11. How often do you dress as the opposite natal sex? (daily, every few days, every few weeks, every few months}
My female alter and I split the week so each of us has time to live our own life. I am the stronger alter and front 5 days; she fronts the other two and goes on weeklong trips with her girlfriends a couple times a year. It is a balance that has been working for us since 2009.
12. How long do you continuously dress as the opposite natal sex? (hours, days, weeks, months, or years at a time)
My female alter wears her clothes on the days she lives her life (two days a week and week long trips with her girlfriends a couple times a year). It is a balance that has been working for us since 2009.
13. Does a change of clothing cause a change gender, or does a change in gender cause you to change clothing?
Neither. Clothes have nothing to do with my gender or which alter is fronting.
14. In what ways has your body been altered to reflect your Bigender Identity?
-Shoulder length hair
-Androgynously groomed eyebrows
-Laser/electrolysis to remove my beard and leave a well groomed Van Dyke
-Eyelash growth serum
-I have been on a full transition level HRT regimen for almost 9 years
15. Have you ever seen, would you be interested in seeing, or are you currently seeing a gender therapist?
I saw a gender therapist when my female alter first became self aware. It was the biggest mistake in my life. "When the only tool you have is a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail." My therapist's misdiagnosis of my Dissociative Identity Disorder as Transgender Gender Dysphoria nearly cost my marriage and the life I'd spent 48 years building. There are too many reasons a person may feel a need to express themself as another gender that are much more common than being transgender. Until a person reaches the point of being ready to transition, I see general therapy as a better option for helping them sort out what the actual underlying cause may be.
16. Have you ever had an interest in HRT or SRS, and what interest do you currently have for HRT or SRS?
I have been on a typical transition level Estrogen/Spironalactone regimen for 9 years now. It took 4 years of therapy to help me understand that the peace I experience from HRT had nothing to do with giving my mind the right chemical. Chemical castration put my child alters at ease in knowing that, once and for all, I could NEVER hurt anyone the way my parents hurt me. Neither my female alter nor me have any desire for SRS.
17. How did you come to the conclusion that you are a Bigendered individual and not a Transsexual individual?
Therapy and the realization that my need to express myself as a woman is because of childhood sexual and psychological abuse, NOT Transgender Gender Dysphoria
18. How did you come to the conclusion that you are a Bigendered individual and not a Crossdresser individual? Crossdressing is repulsive to me; wearing women's clothes is completely normal for my female alter. She likes to wear guys clothes but when she does she is still very much a girl.
19. Were most of your 'opposite' gender behaviours naturally occurring, or were most of the behaviours learned?
My need to express myself as a woman is because of childhood sexual and psychological abuse. As such my female alter's expression of her gender is learned behavior.
20. If you could you could choose any physiological sex or physical form, what would you choose for your body?
With a few grooming changes, my male body satisfies both me and my female alters needs.
