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I spent my entire childhood and teen aware life in feminine protesting, getting beat for it by my parents, bullied by my older sister, and teased by school-mates. I was suddenly made aware how I appeared quite different down below when I first had a comparison at a Summer camp and then a few years later during 9th Grade gym class showers. I also had rudimentary breast development to an 'A' during my early teen years such that I wore T-shirts to hide my self whenever I went swimming at the beach.
I began transition working toward full-time female and the operation in what I refer to as a typical 'vanilla' M-F transsexual. But I self-discovered more about downstairs than I expected and had to repeatedly ask for some clarification rather than hearing doctors telling me it was all my imagination.
Eventually I got my wish. The doctors first put me under fluoroscope for whatever that was meant to show, then they stuck a needle in me that put me under, and cut me open to take a physical peek. A day or so later following surgical recovery, the doctors wheeled me in my hospital wheelchair to talk to a psychiatrist about the positive results that I am female inter-sex - my downstairs is mal-developed female - but wanted to know why I would still want to continue transitioning to female.
Doctors wanted to have my chromosomes checked. I said thanks but no thanks; I already knew from medical studies that male can be XX and female can be XY, so whatever is my karyotype is irrelevant to me.
Yes, at least there was a certain affirmation when my doctors told me that I am female inter-sex - I wear my hysterectomy scar with pride as my inaugural proof I am female as I had proclaimed since day one. I used the determination as additional certainty toward my goal and got my GCS about six months later.
I firmly place one foot in the inter-sex field and one foot in the transsexual field; sometimes I feel welcomed, sometimes I feel outcast because I am not wholly one or the other.
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