I started working at this new place five weeks ago. So far they have been wonderful, I use the women' restroom, nobody outside HR knows my legal name, everybody genders me correctly, everybody is nice to me. They treat me like anyone else. Or do they?
I've been noticing some strange things.
A couple of weeks ago, a girl helped me find out which van was taking me back to the city (the office is out of the city so they offer transportation). Then she introduced herself and asked my name. She "repeated" my name before I had finished saying it. I'm my name's Promethea, not something more usual like Jennifer or Laura. How did she know "Pro..." was "Promethea"?
Then last week, when going back to the city I was chatting with the other girls in the van, when this girl who doesn't usually take that van, and whom I don't even recall seeing before, called me by my name.
Those two made me realize people talk about me. I didn't want it, but I expected it to happen. I just have to learn to deal with that.
Then today, me and the rest of my group (who were hired the same day and are being trained together) had a meeting with the guy in charge of paying our commissions. This is the first time we see him. Even though I was in a particularly butch day (yes, I'm a transgender butch lesbian, isn't that funny?), and so less confident of being able to send the message that I'm presenting as female, he gendered me correctly, and then even called me by my name, without having been introduced. This also happened with other people from management and the administrative area.
I get the feeling that at least everyone in management, HR, revenue, etc., has been told about me, to make sure they treat me correctly. Maybe even more people have. They earned the fifth place in the Great Place to Work survey last year and the first place this year. I understand they are under a lot of pressure to maintain that, and it looks like I'm seen as their ticket to getting first place again next year. They want everybody to see how inclusive they are and oh how normally they treat the ->-bleeped-<-, and they seem to be doing it by letting everybody know I'm there. I don't know if my presence has been announced to regular employees, or if they have done some awareness workshops, but officially or not everybody seems to know about me.
I don't mind being outed. My face outs me. But this may be a bit too much attention, more than I wanted to get. I would prefer if they actually treated me normally. All this caution feels like too much. And I'm not even going to stay for long! (But of course they don't know that).
At the same time I'm glad it's me in that position and not someone else with a thinner skin.
