How do I find out if I am Intersex?

[Lady-Bunny]

Hello. I am new here, so it is nice to meet all of you. I am Lady Bunny. Please, do not call me anything different, do not shorten my name either.
I think I may be intersex. I have been thinking this since I was 14, as my body went into changes I think are not meant to happen. To make this clear, before I start - I am a female from birth. I am confused about my sex and gender.

My private parts don't look right. I used to have two sets of ""lips"". They have fused together, I only have one set now. This one set of ""lips"" are very big, and have grown together? If I separate them, it hurts. Separating them can only be done by force, and is painful during and after. My private parts don't look female, but more male - like a small penis. Overall, my genitalia is made of this one set of ""lips"" and what looks like a ""tip"" at the very bottom. To make it even more clear to anyone reading - the one set of lips are naturally like this. It's not that 'they just touch', or are 'just big'. It's that they literally grow together, making my genitalia look like a small penis. It's hard to describe. The set of lips completely hang out and stick together. All of it looks like a small penis. I have tried to discuss this, but it was pushed aside. I was given the label of Transsexual. Something else to mention is that, when these changes where happening, I gained a rash on my belly. It has only gone November this year, so stayed for about a year. My vaginal entrance is right at the bottom of my genitalia, and doesn't like anything entering it... it hurts.
Can this be intersex? Can someone like... write a reply? I am very confused. Thank you.

[Laura_7]

Well imo best thing would be to ask a trustworthy gyn...

A large clit looking like a small penis might result from a slightly higher than normal testosterone level.
There are quite a few ftm people who have this.

Concerning fused labia there are cases of two vaginas, and its possible they fuse...
so you might ask a doc. Its also possible its completely normal development.
There are inner labia and outer labia.

Concerning pain with entry its possible there is a hymen.
A gyn could say more.

If you are additionally confused about your gender identity you could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,188309.msg1674885.html#msg1674885

Concerning the look of a vagina you might look up wall of vagina.
There is a big variance in look.

Just ask if you hav any questions...


*hugs*

[Lady-Bunny]

A large clit looking like a small penis might result from a slightly higher than normal testosterone level.
There are quite a few ftm people who have this.

Concerning fused labia there are cases of two vaginas, and its possible they fuse...
so you might ask a doc. Its also possible its completely normal development.
There are inner labia and outer labia.

Aaah, my private parts do look like some ftm peoples, if that means anything.
I don't quite understand about the ""two vaginas"" part?

[Cindy]

Hi Lady-Bunny,

As far as I am aware the only way to determine if a person is intersex is genetic testing. They need to determine the XX, XY karyotype  and androgen receptor mutations. A full clinical history may also required, including any sealed records.

Your PCP and endocrinologist or gynaecologist is the first person to consult.

[Laura_7]

Aaah, my private parts do look like some ftm peoples, if that means anything.
I don't quite understand about the ""two vaginas"" part?

Some people have a complete two set of vaginas and uterus.
But its very rare.

I'd presume all is ok with you, your labia just had some development lately due to more hormones as natural development with adolescence.
If in doubt, simply ask a gyn you trust.

If your clit is enlarged and looks like a small penis, it might be high testosterone.
Many ftm people have this condition.
It might be pcos, here is more info:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,198916.msg1773414.html#msg1773414

As already said, you might consult a gyn...
and, well, some people are kind of made for this.
ftm people having a high level of testosterone matches their gender identity.


hugs

[Lady-Bunny]

I'd presume all is ok with you, your labia just had some development lately due to more hormones as natural development with adolescence.
If in doubt, simply ask a gyn you trust.

If your clit is enlarged and looks like a small penis, it might be high testosterone.
Many ftm people have this condition.

I feel as if I cannot trust myself. I wonder if I am seeking the label of intersex due to the fact that it is the only LGBT+ thing lawful in Islam. Everything else is unlawful/seen as sin.
I am just a teen, I am sorry. This is the only place I have to turn. My father would not understand or accept at all. I am very confused.

I feel like I could be intersex, I felt like that before Islam. I came into Islam to get away from all of this. I didn't want to be depressed anymore; I thought being trans was the basis of my depression. I feel now, as if it was due to hiding the man inside me. I just don't know what to do. A doctor can do nothing, nobody can.

I don't know what to do, I've put myself in a situation, and made it harder for myself. There's no way I could label as trans, I'll just have to let the man inside me suffer more. Forever.

I've been suicidal due to all of this, before Islam and during (now). I wanted to get away from it all.

I feel like a man, but the question of being intersex is, and has been (before Islam) there.

I'm already killing myself by letting the man inside me die.

[Deborah]

I tried religion too for a long time to try and suppress and "cure" myself.  It didn't work and God was silent.  That was one source of stress and depression.  As part of my whole coming to terms with myself and progressing I dumped Christianity as I found beyond using it as a coping mechanism I didn't really believe a lot of it anyway.


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[Laura_7]

Being trans is an intersex condition imo.
Studies have shown that parts of the brains of transgender people are those of the gender they identify with.
So its a mans brain in a womans body. That is intersex imo.
There are differences in the brains of women and men.
Before birth, brain and body develop at different times.
So a mismatch is possible.
There are even substances known to cause a higher rate of transgender people.
They are off the market now.
So being transgender is nobodys fault, neither an upbringing nor whatever.
It simply is and has nothing to do with religion.
There are other birth conditions where people are also called to help.


You might look around.
In Iran for example there are a lot of mtf surgeries, its accepted there.

And there should be transgender groups and boards in islam.
You are not the only one. Just hold on to what you know, keep away from people wanting to distract you.

Keep looking for ways to do this... there will be a way eventually.

Its up to you but here are a few resources that might be shown:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194946.msg1736596.html#msg1736596
There are brochures by reputable sources, for example the british NHS, showing being trans has biological connections.
Its explained with pictures. A brochure says explicitly for trans people, their families and health care staff.
If its biological its nobodys fault... and its not likely to be a phase...
Parts of it might be translated...

Some people make a comparison with a twin... they will be like their male/female twin, with the same sense of humour...

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1740788.html#msg1740788
This is a very emotional letter from an accepting dad. So its from the view of a parent.
Parts of it might be shown.
Some parents have the same restraints, like he talks about: did they cause it by an upbringing...etc...


you might look for a good gender therapist if possible... there are online therapists...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,187135.msg1666871.html#msg1666871

here are other young trans people:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1758946.html#msg1758946

and there is also a chat on susans.


If you feel like it please reach out...
they have a chat :
www.glbthotline.org/hotline.html
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

www.translifeline.org


many *hugs*

[Lady-Bunny]

I tried religion too for a long time to try and suppress and "cure" myself.  It didn't work and God was silent.  That was one source of stress and depression.  As part of my whole coming to terms with myself and progressing I dumped Christianity as I found beyond using it as a coping mechanism I didn't really believe a lot of it anyway.

I am scared of going to hell. I used Islam as a curing, it hid my feelings away for sometime. I am scared of giving up Islam, then going to hell. I am scared of being depressed all my life and killing myself. I am scared. It limits me, my feelings.

Even if I stay Muslim and accept myself, I would be scared. I put fear in myself, I've taught myself hatred for myself, I am stuck.

[Deborah]

I am scared of going to hell.

I know.  It took me a long time and a lot of thought and study to get over that.  Even when I was having serious doubts the though of hell if I got it wrong kept me from stepping away.


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[Laura_7]

I am scared of going to hell. I used Islam as a curing, it hid my feelings away for sometime. I am scared of giving up Islam, then going to hell. I am scared of being depressed all my life and killing myself. I am scared. It limits me, my feelings.

Even if I stay Muslim and accept myself, I would be scared. I put fear in myself, I've taught myself hatred for myself, I am stuck.

Look... there is no such thing.
There is a loving god and its only your restraints.
Nobody wants to punish... just do what you feel brings you joy.

Try this... imagine a loving god wanting you to be happy. There is nothing else.

Just accept that being transgender has biological causes. It simply is and there is nothing to be ashamed of or whatever.


It is not good to hold back. Just look for ways to do this. There will be ways if you keep looking.
Believe that it is possible, it very well is.


hugs

[mm]

Lady-Bunny, I see you as being confused about what/who you are.  You probably need to have a complete physical exam by a pcp or gyn dr, with labs and possibly ultrasound/mri imaging to determine what you are physically.  You never said if you have periods or any other cyclic pain/emotions.  I hope you can figure out who you are.

[Laura_7]

Lady-Bunny, I see you as being confused about what/who you are.  You probably need to have a complete physical exam by a pcp or gyn dr, with labs and possibly ultrasound/mri imaging to determine what you are physically.  You never said if you have periods or any other cyclic pain/emotions.  I hope you can figure out who you are.

Well to me they seem to know...

a physical exam is another matter... its a question of gender identity...


hugs

[Lady-Bunny]

Lady-Bunny, I see you as being confused about what/who you are.  You probably need to have a complete physical exam by a pcp or gyn dr, with labs and possibly ultrasound/mri imaging to determine what you are physically.  You never said if you have periods or any other cyclic pain/emotions.  I hope you can figure out who you are.

I have periods. I doubt I am intersex; it's probably just high T levels. I am seeing a doctor and nurse about all of this, I need to before I kill myself.

Try this... imagine a loving god wanting you to be happy. There is nothing else.

Just accept that being transgender has biological causes. It simply is and there is nothing to be ashamed of or whatever.

Thank you. I am coming to terms with myself, how I feel. I hope you don't mind me sharing. I feel, and have since 13 (young I know) that I should be a man. I want facial hair, I want super hairy legs, deep voice, most importantly to me, a penis. I don't care about size etc. just having one would be amazing. But I'd still want to wear dresses and make-up (that part is confusing to me!)

I wasn't raised into any religion, I wasn't birthed into one either. I was born non-religious. There where little signs of me being Trans from such a young age. I came out a year later (14yrs) and my 50-something dad wasn't so pleased. He said that in "his day" people like me where locked up, I'd be seen as crazy, etc... I couldn't get the support I needed, I was alone, thus felt like I needed to change for good.

[mm]

I better understand your situation now, good luck in work thing out so you can go on living.

[Laura_7]

Thank you. I am coming to terms with myself, how I feel. I hope you don't mind me sharing. I feel, and have since 13 (young I know) that I should be a man. I want facial hair, I want super hairy legs, deep voice, most importantly to me, a penis. I don't care about size etc. just having one would be amazing. But I'd still want to wear dresses and make-up (that part is confusing to me!)

I wasn't raised into any religion, I wasn't birthed into one either. I was born non-religious. There where little signs of me being Trans from such a young age. I came out a year later (14yrs) and my 50-something dad wasn't so pleased. He said that in "his day" people like me where locked up, I'd be seen as crazy, etc... I couldn't get the support I needed, I was alone, thus felt like I needed to change for good.

Keep to a mental image of how you would like to be.
And keep looking for ways to do this, there will be some.

Its also ok if you like dresses or makeup. There are quite a few men wearing makeup nowadays. And what you want to wear does not affect your gender identity. You can still identify as man. And you do not need to feel male all the time.
Here is a graph showing that:
http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/03/the-genderbread-person-v2-0/

Well your dad simply keeps to old views. Times have changed a lot, its not the 60s any more. People know a lot more about being transgender. Its considered a medical condition and transitioning is the cure (for those who want that).
Being trans is not considered an illness any more. The medical books have been changed.

Do you think it might be possible to show them some brochures and it might help ?

And for example in Iran people are accepted... so it simply depends on the view.


*hugs*

[Lady-Bunny]

Thank you all so so much! I'm no longer Muslim, I can't keep it up.

If I go to hell, then I'd rather burn as a male then a female, so...

Thank you all. I can re-connect with myself. I feel free, I feel so so good! I am me again!
You are all lovely, such a warm loving place. <3

[Laura_7]

Thank you all so so much! I'm no longer Muslim, I can't keep it up.

If I go to hell, then I'd rather burn as a male then a female, so...

Thank you all. I can re-connect with myself. I feel free, I feel so so good! I am me again!
You are all lovely, such a warm loving place. <3

Have a big *kiss* and a hug
Just come if you have any questions...
and believe in a loving god...
and what you feel brings you joy...


*hugs*

[Rachel]

I had my karyotype tested. I had it paid for through insurance by going through a fertility clinic.