As organisms that have evolved over millions of years in a social setting - everyone has a family, no child will survive without someone to look after it - then sure, obviously we are all inescapably wired for social interaction. In fact I believe a human raised alone, completely alone, would be an irreparably damaged one. It was proven with monkeys in labs that isolation destroys their minds after a certain period of time, rendering them effectively insane and inoperable within a normal social setting. Humans placed in similar situations usually call this a form of torture and are damaged by it as well.
Since we are inescapably by and of human society - then yes, we have to approach self-actualization through its lens. We are all taught language for example - we cannot undo this and think in raw thoughts about ourselves. But I believe you were initially saying that we transition in order to be able to socialize better. Which, I have to disagree with. While some aspects of it involve smoother interaction, some are most definitely personal and not requiring the interaction with or acceptance of other people. And most of us are aware that transition does not solve all of these problems - and in fact can make some interactions worse and more fraught with difficulty. It's an interesting thing, then, that transition is still undertaken knowing it would be far easier for our socialization and relations, not to... isn't it? If anything we risk ostracism, physical harm, discrimination and even potential death in the hope that we will somehow find this love? I think the driving force behind many transitions isn't others and our relationship with others - it is ourselves and our relationship with ourselves. Certainly our relationship with ourselves has been colored by the society we live in to some degree. But the importance society plays in people's transitions appears to be on a broad scale. There is something very primitive and wordless about the gender dysphoria I felt as a child. I had no concept of it, what it meant, where it came from, or had the words to describe it. But it was there all the same, without society's input on it. Later, society's input magnified the dysphoria, made it more visible and describable. But if I were to say it could not have existed without society's input and definitions... my own experience seems to indicate that a prototype of the conflict was already present, long before I became sociable. (And I was raised by parents who deliberately refused to push gender roles onto me, and in a very small social circle of just them until I was 7). This is actually why I think I didn't realize the extent of the problem until much later than some do. Even so, by puberty, what my body was doing was simply traumatic, without explanation.
I have no idea what kind of notion a human raised outside of human society would have of itself and of gender, because such a human does not apparently exist than we can speak to to get the answers from... perhaps they would view themselves very differently without the monoliths of gender and roles to conform to. But given that it's been shown transsexualism can be innate and be realized even when the person has been secretly raised as the gender it is not... I still suspect there's a strong subconscious biological component to what we are and what we suffer from. That it isn't a choice, or gender roles, but that the brain and the body are at war.
If we had no concept of society, I still think trans conditions would be a problem for those afflicted. That is, trans conditions are not an illness of our social self. They include the social self of course, so to some extent require it, but that they cannot be only conditions of the social self. How could I have developed [gender] dysphoria without a full concept of gender? Somehow, I did. Which is why at the time I didn't put it down to gender, but some problem with my mind or just general operation. When the body started changing - the wrong ways - that also wasn't a social problem, but a physical disease, to me. At that age I was not even all that familiar with the physical characteristics of the opposite sex to know I was moving away from it.
I will say there are many aspects about being born the wrong gender that are socialized. But the main ones that encourage me to transition are simply physical, nothing to do with anybody else, or especially to do with interaction, nothing I want to show off or make known. They are things that will only make life more bearable on a personal level, but obviously more difficult on a social level. So I'm not sure how I am doing this for the love of others, or the smoother interaction with others. I know it's going to be tougher interacting with them afterwards, that relationships will be harder, probably to the point I will not bother with them. If anything doing this is going to make my social life worse. But it's still worth it, to feel right for oneself.
