About to come out - God help me

[Delyth]

I am about to come out in the next half hour. God help me. I hate me me. I am about to start a chain reaction which God help me.

[Emjay]

Deep breath Delyth, you've got this. ....

Stand tall and be proud of who you are.   

[Laura_7]

Imagine a good angel helping you...


relax... being tg is biological... its nobodys fault, neither yours nor an upbringing or whatever...

imagine a good outcome...


*hugs*

[archlord]

Everything will be fine and it will only get easier after

[Debra]

Good luck! You got this

[Delyth]

I did it. I spent the entire train trip home talking to a counselor. I tand my wife to pick me up from the railway station and told her I had to tell her something. She thought I had found some one else.
When we got home, just blurted it out.  3 times. I want to be a girl. I feel I am a girl inside.
She looked me right in the eye and stormed off to bed. I crossed the point of no return. My marriage is over. I have probably lost my home.
I feel awful. I wont be going to work tomorrow. I feel as though I have pressed self destruct.

[Dena]

If you still love her, make sure she gets that message as well. Tell her that the reason it was so hard to tell her was because of your love for her.

Offer her the option of seeing your consoler if she wants to understand this better.

Good luck. I hope your marriage can be saved because many are if you work at it.

[Angélique LaCava]

Yea she may think ur goin to leave her. Most of the time wen u say that u want to be a girl people automatically assume ur into guys.

[suzifrommd]

I did it. I spent the entire train trip home talking to a counselor. I tand my wife to pick me up from the railway station and told her I had to tell her something. She thought I had found some one else.
When we got home, just blurted it out.  3 times. I want to be a girl. I feel I am a girl inside.
She looked me right in the eye and stormed off to bed. I crossed the point of no return. My marriage is over. I have probably lost my home.
I feel awful. I wont be going to work tomorrow. I feel as though I have pressed self destruct.

Hugs, Delyth. I've been there. You will get through this.

[TG CLare]

You have done the hardest thing when it comes to transitioning. My heart goes out to you but try and discuss it with her that it wasn't a choice but something that has been there since or possibly before birth.

Don't forget, there is a section on here for significant others and that might help her understand she is not alone.

Hope that everything works out for you. Remember, we are here for you and your wife.

Love,
Clare

[Laura_7]

You might direct her to susans.

here are a few resources that might help her understand:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

and she might read up other threads... and ask questions herself...
there are also significant others with their own category...
and people here are friendly and try to support...


hugs

[Ms Grace]

Coming out to a spouse is probably the hardest (except for people under 18, then it's their parents). My experience with coming out has been that the first reaction isn't always the final reaction. Some people say they are fine and supportive and then are anything but. Some will be angry because they're upset about what it means for them but with time they can see things for what they are and work with them. You've done what you needed to do, what happens next with your marriage is up to you both.

[abd789]

***hugs***

Just stay true to yourself no matter what happens

you do not have to give up to save anothers feelings

[Emileeeee]

My wife also thought the talk was to tell her I found someone else and after she found out about this instead, she was relieved. My biggest fear when I told mine was that she'd think I was making it up just to end the relationship. We've had some roadbumps along the way, but our relationship has actually gotten better.

Make sure your wife knows that you don't want it to end. She probably stormed off because she needed to find a way to process the news. It doesn't necessarily mean it's the end.

[lostcharlie]

you have not pressed the self destruct button. you have thrown the switch to becoming who you really are. best wishes

[Emjay]

There is so much good advice here already that I don't know that I can add much more.

This isn't necessarily the end of everything or even anything.  This isn't a new thing to you but it *is* new, brand new, to your wife.  She needs some time to process all of it.  If staying married is your goal then absolutely make sure she knows that.  Make sure she knows that you still love her and that you're still the same person on the inside no matter what you may ultimately look like on the outside. 

I do hope for the best for you and for your wife.  Give things plenty of time and patience.  You've done the really hard part:  Saying it out loud.

Hugs,

~Meg

[JLT1]

Well, you came out better to your wife than I did.  It took time, work, forgiveness and patience after that.  However, we are still togather and closer than ever.  You need to talk with each other. Really share with each other.

Thoughts and prayers and hugs,

Jen

[Delyth]

Thanks for all of your kind words the other night. It all feels a bit surreal. But I did it. Nothing has been said since i blurted everything out. I'd dont think everything has sunk in. However we are going to sit down and have a proper discussion. I am half terrified. Half excited about the future.
I am going to need all the support I can get going forward.
I have a mental health plan which I got from the doctor a few weeks ago which I didnt use. However I didn't tell him the real reason for my depressive state. Should I go back to the doctor and tell him the real reason. I am scared I might not get the advice I need or recommendation to the right people who can help me.
I still feel alone in this so any guidance and friendship is appreciated.

[Laura_7]

Thanks for all of your kind words the other night. It all feels a bit surreal. But I did it. Nothing has been said since i blurted everything out. I'd dont think everything has sunk in. However we are going to sit down and have a proper discussion. I am half terrified. Half excited about the future.
I am going to need all the support I can get going forward.
I have a mental health plan which I got from the doctor a few weeks ago which I didnt use. However I didn't tell him the real reason for my depressive state. Should I go back to the doctor and tell him the real reason. I am scared I might not get the advice I need or recommendation to the right people who can help me.
I still feel alone in this so any guidance and friendship is appreciated.

Being in Australia you could have a look here:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,191970.msg1711762.html#msg1711762

and here:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194250.msg1731443.html#msg1731443


hugs

[suzifrommd]

Should I go back to the doctor and tell him the real reason. I am scared I might not get the advice I need or recommendation to the right people who can help me.

I would let your doctor know, especially if you want a referral from him. I've known people who were depressed for decades and started working on their gender issues and the depression went away without any other treatment.

I still feel alone in this so any guidance and friendship is appreciated.

My advice, and it's a very bitter pill, is to assume your wife is not okay with this and that she is consulting a lawyer behind your back. If she isn't, great, but you should prepare yourself for that possibility. I strongly suggest talking to a lawyer yourself, to find out how to protect yourself, and so that you have that resource in case you need it in a hurry.

I know it hurts to hear this. I can offer you cyberhugs and good thoughts and a reminder that you will get through this.