Would you go to a reunion with colleagues you haven't seen for 20 yrs

[LizK]

I was a qualified Registered Psychiatric Nurse for many years and did my training in a now defunct Psychiatric hospital. This Hospital was set some 30ks out of the city in a rural environment and as such it was a fairly tight nit community. Since it's closure in the late 80's the staff have never really had a get together. So one of the girls I trained with has organised a reunion of all the nurses but especially my class of 83.

This is due to take place is about 15 months and of course I have received an invite. Our Nursing class have had a few reunions over the years but I have never attended. When I popped up on face book and said I would see how I was going but wasn't sure I would make it. I received a number of e-mails from class mates asking if I could attend as I had not managed to attend any of the others...I suspect this was a setup by a close girlfriend of mine. None of my classmates are aware that I am Trans. 15 Months from now I would like to think I have a few months  HRT under my belt so should be starting to present almost fulltime by this stage or close to it.

So would you go?

Would you tell the organisers before or just turn up?

Would you tell anyone prior to the event?

Would you go on your own or take a "chaperone"

Would you go if you could only present as your assigned gender?

Would you go if you could only present as your real gender?

I still have plenty of time before I have to decide but am really not too sure about it. I think it could be a lot of fun because I know them all but have not seen them for over 20 years in most cases.

Sarah T

[Ms Grace]

Nope, I wouldn't go...at least not to my first three previous workplaces. My fourth workplace, from 1994-1998, yes I would as there were only a few people and they were open minded and accepting types.

I definitely wouldn't consider a school reunion, I went to an all boys high school and the thought of rocking up to that is too bizarre for words. They actually had a ten year reunion the year after I gave up on my first attempt at transition and I didn't go to that one, so I'm certainly not going to one now!!

[Laura_7]

What kind of feeling do you have with it ?
Did you like the others ?

Would you consider it fun appearing as you... and probably nobody recognizes... and you have really a lot to tell ?


*hugs*

[Roberta W]

I think I would.  I'd probably wear jeans & a nice femme top ... Yes showing projection on top ... Earrings ... Enough that it would be obvious that I've changed, but not dressed to the point that nobody would even recognize me.

[Becca]

That would be an interesting experience. 20 years ago I worked in a real "small town", could be fun 

[KathyLauren]

I would suggest waiting before committing to it until you know better how your transition is going.  If you are feeling confident about how you are presenting, it could be fun.  Or, it could be hell.  Given where you are at the moment, it sounds like it is too early to tell.

I went to my high school class's 25-year reunion (as the cis-me) and had a ball.  In school, I was the "square" in a class full of hippies.  At the reunion, I was the hippie (beard, long hair in a ponytail) in a class full of squares, and the only one who was unmarried.  I had a ball being the nonconformist. 

In another few years, if they have a 50 year reunion, and if I have transitioned by that time, it would be a blast to go as the real me.  See if anyone recognized me.  I guess I'm a s**t-distuber!   

[Joi]

I definitely wouldn't consider a school reunion, I went to an all boys high school and the thought of rocking up to that is too bizarre for words.

I'm in the same boat as you Grace.  An all boys high school and as an athlete, primarily hung out with the jocks.  This will be our 50th and likely our last.  They made it clear in announcing the event that spouses aren't invited.  It's not until Oct 2016 so I've got a lot of time to ponder this.  I'll be 9 mos. post op by then and the guy that I portrayed for over 60's yrs. will be long gone by then.  Wouldn't be able to fake it if I wanted to.  It's not likely that I'll be going, but who knows anything could happen.

I so like your comment "too bizarre for words."

Hugz,

Joi   

[LizK]

Hi Grace
You really made me laugh over the school reunion. I went to an all boys Catholic school so there would be a certain amount of twisted satisfaction in attending one of those...but seriously "to bizarre for words" covers it totally.

Hi Laura
it is quite pertinent you should ask that question because to be honest I suspect most of my nursing colleagues would go..."ok, well that explains a lot of your behaviour while you were training" I get a feeling that they wouldn't be surprised and being as I know many of them very well, I suspect it would be a very safe environment for me. Having said that I have only my 30+year old memory to go on and many things change. It does sound like fun to me and we would have plenty to talk about.

Then of course it could just go horribly wrong..in which case I guess I grab a plane home again...plenty of food for thought

Hi Becca
Its one of those things you just don't know how much people have changed in 20+ years

Hi Roberto
Thanks for the suggestion and a good one too...I had thought of just slipping quietly in and see how long before someone twigged

Hi Kathy Lauren

I agree with you and I don't have to commit to anything for another few months yet...I think the wait and see attitude is the sensible one, it is easily 14 months or so away to be saying
"oh yeah this reunion thing is gonna be a cinch...I'll just pop along all "glammed up" everyone will love me and it will be a great success!!"

I guess it could happen that way....I think a back up strategy is prudent in this case

Hi Joi
I know it would be, as we agree "to bizzare for words" but it could also make for one hell of an interesting night. Not sure I would want to take that kind of risk at a school reunion. I was teased mercilessly for the entire time I was at an all boys primary and secondary school. I really have no desire to repeat that in any way.

Thanks for the input It was really interesting to hear your thoughts. I may revisit this once I am a bit closer to having to make a decision.

Sarah T

[AnonyMs]

Would you go it you were not trans?

I assume you would, since you're asking the question. So is it fear holding you back? I assume there's nothing they can do to you apart from being rude. I'm not sure that's a very rational reason if you're already out. Understandable though.

[Valwen]

I have never had a job that would have a reunion but I graduated class of 2000 from highschool and though its super doubtful, I would sorta love it if they have a 20 year reunion, I would tell no one Ideally in 5 years I will be well post op, hopefully a more healthy weight and if I am lucky have a attractive girl friend.

half the class would be suprised that I like girls, most would be shocked by the transformation, me I think I would relish the reactions, back then I struggled and hid everything whail secretly hating myself more and more, to confront that agonizing chapter of my life directly like that and show how much has changed would be totally worth it. Ok i might tell the organizer if there was going to be some sorta prizes for things like, most changed..then again I might reject that prize given I don't feel I have changed much at all, I am just allowed to be honest about myself.

Serena, who cried typing this because it reminded her of how painful high school was.

[Dena]

I just had my high school reunion pass and I decided not to attend even though it was close by. I decided this because I knew very few people in my high school as I was already dealing with my transsexualism and I could tell from the web site that was set up for the reunion that the few names I knew that would be attending wouldn't have given me the time of day when I was in school. In this case, I decided it would be better to let them have their fun and I would spend the night moderating on Susan's.

[big kim]

I went to my school reunion in 2003. I had a great time and everyone was OK with me, went to many more and all were good. All the dirtbags who made my life a misery at school are either dead or still in jail.

[Gertrude]

Hi Grace
You really made me laugh over the school reunion. I went to an all boys Catholic school so there would be a certain amount of twisted satisfaction in attending one of those...but seriously "to bizarre for words" covers it totally.

Hi Laura
it is quite pertinent you should ask that question because to be honest I suspect most of my nursing colleagues would go..."ok, well that explains a lot of your behaviour while you were training" I get a feeling that they wouldn't be surprised and being as I know many of them very well, I suspect it would be a very safe environment for me. Having said that I have only my 30+year old memory to go on and many things change. It does sound like fun to me and we would have plenty to talk about.

Then of course it could just go horribly wrong..in which case I guess I grab a plane home again...plenty of food for thought

Hi Becca
Its one of those things you just don't know how much people have changed in 20+ years

Hi Roberto
Thanks for the suggestion and a good one too...I had thought of just slipping quietly in and see how long before someone twigged

Hi Kathy Lauren

I agree with you and I don't have to commit to anything for another few months yet...I think the wait and see attitude is the sensible one, it is easily 14 months or so away to be saying
"oh yeah this reunion thing is gonna be a cinch...I'll just pop along all "glammed up" everyone will love me and it will be a great success!!"

I guess it could happen that way....I think a back up strategy is prudent in this case

Hi Joi
I know it would be, as we agree "to bizzare for words" but it could also make for one hell of an interesting night. Not sure I would want to take that kind of risk at a school reunion. I was teased mercilessly for the entire time I was at an all boys primary and secondary school. I really have no desire to repeat that in any way.

Thanks for the input It was really interesting to hear your thoughts. I may revisit this once I am a bit closer to having to make a decision.

Sarah T

You could always go in a girls uniform pleated plaids and all. [emoji3]


Sent from my iPhone, inspected and certified by the NSA

[Peep]

I might tell the organisers if they were people I knew well. Or even if not because maybe their reaction could help me gauge the general reception? It might be fun to take someone along...

What if you go and you find you're not the only one who's transitioned? :P

[Sharon Anne McC]

*

I would so love to go to a high school or college re-union but I feel that I would draw too much attention. Plus, some schools do not exist as they were when I attended, or do not exist at all.

I attended multiple high schools:

   9th Grade:  I attended a Jesuit boys' school - wouldn't that be a hoot for me to attend that one, eh, Grace, Joi, Sarah.  The school officers right now do 'know' about my change, but my class-mates do not.

   10th Grade and 11th Grade:  I attended an American international school then-located at Pylaia, Greece, but recently it moved to another location at metropolitan Thessaloniki; kinda far for me to travel from Arizona.

   12th Grade:  I first attended Scottsdale High School, but it is defunct - it closed maybe sometime in the early 1980s.  Then I attended Buena High School (Sierra Vista, Arizona); the actual school where I attended is gone and replaced by a used car lot so seeing 'old haunts' is pointless because they, too, do not exist.

Then there is college.  I graduated from a well-known private Baptist university.  Oops.  Their policy while I attended was no homosexuals and no transsexuals allowed; I attended, as we say, in 'stealth' and no own 'knew'.  For now I'd like to keep it that way and let the private Baptist universities keep guessing which one I attended.

I certainly would love to go to one or all,  but my current practicalities are not quite possible.

I would obviously attend as I am now - I have not been as 'before' since 30-some years ago.  Few know of me as my present and there would be surprises at my appearance.

As for going to places where I worked 'before', that would be interesting to find the old places and show up as a visitor but it is so far in the past that no one would know me.

*

[LizK]

You could always go in a girls uniform pleated plaids and all. [emoji3]


Sent from my iPhone, inspected and certified by the NSA

Considering that it is a Nurses reunion that would be a hoot but I suspect nothing they wouldn't expect. ha ha

[LizK]

I might tell the organisers if they were people I knew well. Or even if not because maybe their reaction could help me gauge the general reception? It might be fun to take someone along...

What if you go and you find you're not the only one who's transitioned?

How cool would that be...Ok so what are the chances ...two or more of us out of 500 nurses...I think my friend who is trying to get me to go would be only to happy to go with me since I suspect she is behind most of the interest to get me to go.

[Eva Marie]

It depends on how you feel about the people - are they open minded and accepting, or are they bigots?

If they are open minded and accepting AND you are ready for them to know about you - sure, I'd go. Taking a friend along for support is an excellent idea. I would not inform them ahead of time; that feels a little too much like apologizing and asking permission to me.

If they aren't the accepting types - nope, no way I'd go.

Someone mentioned high school - my high school years were extremely painful and lonely -the memories of getting singled out and picked on all of the time are still fresh and raw in my mind after 35 years. I don't want to put myself through the mental pain of being around those people so I'll never ever attend a high school reunion, even though I suspect age and life's experiences have changed a lot of their attitudes by now.

[Debra]

So would you go?

Yes.

Would you tell the organisers before or just turn up?

I'd probably tell them....I feel like most previous colleagues and/or school students know from facebook though.

Would you tell anyone prior to the event?

Most everyone from my past knows.

Would you go on your own or take a "chaperone"

I'd take my husband

Would you go if you could only present as your assigned gender?

Hell no. I'd say >-bleeped-< you guys. There is no assigned gender anymore. In fact my BC says female so yeah

Would you go if you could only present as your real gender?

This is my real gender Of course


Frankly I'd find it mildly amusing.....esp if they had old pics of us as Seniors in HS. I mean I've transformed from the nerdy guy to a pretty spectacular woman.

[stephaniec]

no, a lot of old married men trying to hit on me is not my idea of fun.