Got Clocked...

[emma-f]

I'm convinced that we have some trains equivalent to gaydar, and it goes both ways, ie to the transitioned and non-transitioned.

Years ago, on New Year's Eve, we met a woman who was speaking to my wife and I. She stated that she was trans and, despite my being entirely pre transition and us not mentioning anything, that I was too and that the sooner that I transitioned the better!

For somebody to clock you (who screams female from every pore) and then ask such questions (rude as they were) suggests to me somebody who is coming to terms with their own trans status

[anjaq]

Interestingly, I think I "passed" better when I first transitioned in the 1990ies than I did in the 2010's - I am still not sure if in the long run the hormones did just not keep up with me ageing or if it is simply the greater awareness of people about trans issues.

[Lyndsey]

Interestingly, I think I "passed" better when I first transitioned in the 1990ies than I did in the 2010's - I am still not sure if in the long run the hormones did just not keep up with me ageing or if it is simply the greater awareness of people about trans issues.

Hi Anjaq

It is a lot easier I think when you get older as not so many people are out to fine a older women that looks like she is 20. Also how you dress has a lot to do with how people will react. If you dress like a teen and you are 40 it won't be Pretty you will be way out of play and people will know. If you dress your age group you will win right away. Also My self I do not wear much for makeup. Just a little eyeliner and mascara. Try to look like all the cis women as they don't wear dress's every day ether. I wear a lot of skorts and shots in the summer and lots of jeans and dress pants in the winter. Also I'm proud of my age and do not think I look to bad. I'm 58 years young.

Hug's
Lyndsey

[Mallory]

I think its so funny that people instantly judge someone based on their physical appearance. Without cosmetics how many trans persons would actually pass? Maybe a handful out of thousands. And guess what? Every woman I come across I think, "Hm, they could be trans."

I saw a beautiful young adult woman in the grocery store the other day and I swear we could have literally been identical twins when I was in my teens. Same frizzy and wavy hair, same color and all, same facial features and height. It was crazy. First thing I thought? She's trans. Then I just shook my head and meandered off. Right before that I was looking another gorgeous woman up and down thinking to myself that we had almost identical body types. Could she be trans? Nah.

There are all sorts of interesting variations and outliers amongst both genders. What I believe is defining and beautiful in one gender could be the opposite of what another would think. Its good to have confidence and to believe you're the cats meow, but don't think you're the end all, be all of what's representative of either gender. Simply love yourself and know that's all that matters.

[Lyndsey]

Hi All

I think that like I said dress your age not in young teenage stuff. And I do not wear hardly any makeup if I wear it at all. I never get called out. Like I said it is mostly a state of mind. I do know that Kate agrees with me on that, and if you try to hard to look like a premadonna You will be called out. To much makeup is a big no in my book. Natural look is what works. Most women do not wear makeup all the time. I have three sisters that help me and make sure it is right.

Hug's
Lyndsey

[iKate]

I think its so funny that people instantly judge someone based on their physical appearance. Without cosmetics how many trans persons would actually pass? Maybe a handful out of thousands. And guess what? Every woman I come across I think, "Hm, they could be trans."

I think the makeup thing is overblown. I wear makeup for special occasions and when I feel like it. I don't really wear everyday but that is changing a bit. I pretty much consistently "pass" and I know it is a "pass" for sure based on various things, how people act and the things they say etc and sometimes just who they are.

I also had the same feeling about many cis women but over time I just don't care anymore.

Honestly gender is the last thing on my mind these days. Reaching that point will help you "pass" more than anything.

[Lyndsey]

I think the makeup thing is overblown. I wear makeup for special occasions and when I feel like it. I don't really wear everyday but that is changing a bit. I pretty much consistently "pass" and I know it is a "pass" for sure based on various things, how people act and the things they say etc and sometimes just who they are.

I also had the same feeling about many cis women but over time I just don't care anymore.

Honestly gender is the last thing on my mind these days. Reaching that point will help you "pass" more than anything.

Yes Kate
I agree with you completely. I don' even think about it at all anymore. I just do my thing and never get called out.

Lyndsey

[anjaq]

It is a lot easier I think when you get older as not so many people are out to fine a older women that looks like she is 20. Also how you dress has a lot to do with how people will react. If you dress like a teen and you are 40 it won't be Pretty you will be way out of play and people will know. If you dress your age group you will win right away. Also My self I do not wear much for makeup. Just a little eyeliner and mascara. Try to look like all the cis women as they don't wear dress's very day ether.

Well, my experience was the opposite, that I passed better at a younger age then in the past years. I never really dressed up much or used makeup much. Not even back when I was younger, although I guess I did use more makeup then and had a bit more feminine clothes in my 20ies than later. Maybe that was part of the issue... I still passed 99% of the time even without all of this , but maybe it helps sometimes to dress up a bit. Funnily now, since I had the voice surgery and then lost a lot of weight, I am more confident ad for the first time in my life I do actually dress up a bit and wear skirts and dresses - I even had whole weeks now just wearing dresses and skirts and using some makeup - lol - not sure why now after all these years...

But i think increased trans awareness was biting me. Especially because of the voice...

[Lyndsey]

Well, my experience was the opposite, that I passed better at a younger age then in the past years. I never really dressed up much or used makeup much. Not even back when I was younger, although I guess I did use more makeup then and had a bit more feminine clothes in my 20ies than later. Maybe that was part of the issue... I still passed 99% of the time even without all of this , but maybe it helps sometimes to dress up a bit. Funnily now, since I had the voice surgery and then lost a lot of weight, I am more confident ad for the first time in my life I do actually dress up a bit and wear skirts and dresses - I even had whole weeks now just wearing dresses and skirts and using some makeup - lol - not sure why now after all these years...

But i think increased trans awareness was biting me. Especially because of the voice...

Hi Anjaq

Yes I had voice surgery two time and I think It is over rated. You are far better off to just practice with your voice till you can get it right. But yes I wear dress and skirts a lot but mostly in the summer as I get cold very easy and I hate that. When I work at the court house. I have to get dressed up but I also have pants suits that I like very much. But if you think about it they do not make women's clothe very warm. even the winter stuff is fitted and not very warm.

Hug's
Lyndsey

[anjaq]

Yes I had voice surgery two time and I think It is over rated. You are far better off to just practice with your voice till you can get it right.

For me personally, I cannot agree. Of course I did  both - training and surgery... but both together helped me to feel much more at ease with my voice and with myself overall. I think I actually held back when it comes to be more feminine in appearance and also behaviours because I thought people would judge me because of my voice. So I am quite happy that this changed now and I feel more able to allow myself more femininity

But yes I wear dress and skirts a lot but mostly in the summer as I get cold very easy and I hate that. When I work at the court house. I have to get dressed up but I also have pants suits that I like very much. But if you think about it they do not make women's clothe very warm. even the winter stuff is fitted and not very warm.

Thats because those evil patriarchic fashion overlords want us to feel cold and feeble and inferior 
lol - I think there are quite warm clothes to wear actually, but often they are not as good looking - Or one has to resolve to such things as wearing leggins and a pair of jeans on top of that. But they make really nice warm winter jackets for women, thats nice.
I am beginning to find my style now and see how much more femininity I feel is good for me. Its kind of funny to be 41 now and starting to like these things - and not because I lived as a guy before - I did not do that for almost 2 decades - but just because I did not feel like it and most women in my age group and peer group did not do much in that respect either. Pants, Sneakers and various T-Shirts were the "uniform" for most

[iKate]

Hi Anjaq

Yes I had voice surgery two time and I think It is over rated. You are far better off to just practice with your voice till you can get it right.

Maybe for you but for me it has made all the difference in the world. Being able to talk without thinking and laugh is invaluable.

But everyone has their own path.

[anjaq]

Maybe for you but for me it has made all the difference in the world. Being able to talk without thinking and laugh is invaluable.

But everyone has their own path.

I guess it often depends on the luck with the surgery. Some had bigger changes than others, so the effect it has varies as well. iKate had great changes in the voice, mine are more in the average, maybe and others report little or no change - so naturally the difference it makes in ones life depends on that...

[Daisy Jane]

This person said he support trans people.. he could be one in the closet too. I've read  about trans stuff online for about 10 year before deciding to do my transition . I am just pointing that he must have read a lot about the thing to be able to "clock" you like that.

After seeing so many before and after pictures and videos I feel like I unintentionally clock some people that most wouldn't notice. I always keep it to myself though. No need to be rude.

[anjaq]

I sometimes see people in the subway that I am sure are trans. I try to make eye contact sometimes - somehow I just want to be reassuring and smile to them, but I often wonder if they take this as a bad or good thing - I guess it depends if they recognize me as someone with a similar background or not...

[Lyndsey]

I sometimes see people in the subway that I am sure are trans. I try to make eye contact sometimes - somehow I just want to be reassuring and smile to them, but I often wonder if they take this as a bad or good thing - I guess it depends if they recognize me as someone with a similar background or not...

Hi Anjaq

I have to say you are right with that. I not sure If I would even let them have a clue that I knew as I would not want them to feel uncomfortable.

Lyndsey

[Adena]

Hi Anjaq

I have to say you are right with that. I not sure If I would even let them have a clue that I knew as I would not want them to feel uncomfortable.

Lyndsey

I also agree. I think it's ok to make eye contact and express in an indirect way you feel connected, but of course never spontaneously bring up such thoughts of wondering if they are trans. I've had gay people ask me if I am gay before (not often, but it's happened), sort of interesting the different dynamic that goes on in the gay community.

I've been trying recently for the first time to figure out what my place on the trans spectrum and starting to thinking about transitioning or at the very least express my true self more.  There's something very interesting that has started to happen - I find myself in this new state (to me) with some people where we are (I think) subliminally relating as woman or androgynous to woman (or even woman to man) even though I'm certainly not otherwise presenting as anything other than a man.  I can't prove that I am right (unless I were to get up the nerve to ask someone whether they thought that was the case! ) but it sort of aligns with what you and anjaq are saying about a 6th sense.

Denali