C'mon hon, pull yourself together. I understand things can feel especially effed up over this time of year, or anytime really. I spent a fair bit of my first attempt at transition alone in my room crying. Even when friends were calling and leaving messages (we didn't even have email, facebook or cell phones in those days) I had utterly convinced myself I was worthless garbage and no one liked me. They were wondering if I'd like to come out, worrying about where I was, etc. If they had come to my front door I would have hid and still told myself they didn't care. Later when I was in my right mind I still couldn't work out what the hell was wrong with me back then, I had people that cared about me and I was just throwing myself a pity party and doing my hardest to reject them and push them away. I burned a lot of bridges in those days, took me a fair bit of effort to repair the damage I did.
The thing is that other people will and can only do so much to bring you into their circle, the rest is up to you.
"Now" is not the rest of your life, "now" is just a fleeting moment. OK, yes, it may feel like a yawning chasm of misery but it isn't. You have a lot to live for so don't talk yourself into believing it is pointless... nothing could be further from the truth. Now please dry your eyes and pop upstairs.
