Dr Hayes, the Sydney endo.

[AnonyMs]

Thanks again Grace but I have been told by my counseller that I might be able to expect some dispensation in regards to RLE. I live in one of Sydney's less than salubrious, working class, "tough" and somewhat declasse areas (albeit in a quiet suburb), I work in an industry that is as yet undeniably VERY masculine (and terrible towards female equality in the workplace, let alone transgender equality in the workplace), in the past I have been very naughty towards the laws of our nation and I have been hospitalised for some crazy stunts involving both motorcycles and motorcyclists. I am hoping that I might be able to avoid RLE, to a degree, because it might get me "bashed" and certainly sacked. But if not then I'm hoping that I can be cunning enough to avoid it when I have to.
However when I get HRT and FFS (which will be happening beforehand) I cannot see any problem whatsoever with RLE. To be honest I am crying for just this to become my reality!   

I don't really understand this point. RLE is only required for SRS, and how does SRS affect you chances of having these problems?

[roxie rudi]

Sorry Ms, HUGE misunderstanding. SRS does NOT cause these problems, I meant RLE might cause these problems. My novice's understanding  is leading me to believe that living full time as a woman while being obviously recognisable as a man will get me in big trouble in public. By my experience this is often the case among even homosexuals but if I can develop and adapt my transition while it is occurring I am hoping to be safer.
Those who are different are those who most often suffer from violence meted out by those who cannot understand.
From what I have seen and from what I know I will get "p****** bashed" quite easily if I cannot make myself at least look different to a male living as a female. Remembering I am unaware of RLE and its strictures but while I am not demanding a need for passability I will need to be able to hide my transition until I feel ready to come out.
I also hate being told how I must live. But that's cool cos' I'm sneaky!

[roxie rudi]

I was thinking of RLE occurring before SRS that's all. Thus the problems.

[AnonyMs]

You don't need to do RLE anytime soon unless you want SRS and even that's flexible. You could have SRS well after you've successfully socially transitioned if you wanted to - no one is going to know when you've done it.

You can have HRT and FFS without RLE.

I've been on HRT many years and I've never done RLE, never presented female to Dr Hayes, my psych, or therapists. Almost no one knows.

At some point there's going to be the awkward social transition, but I've been putting it off for various reasons.

Also, not that it matters, but it was me that made that previous post, not Grace.

[roxie rudi]

Hi Ms. Yes I noticed it was you and you can easily see that I have modified that. My mistake and I apologise if I have been rude because of this.
I realise your points about RLE and if you read the penultimate paragraph in that post you should notice this.
In fact the entire post is about my own personal worries for RLE. But As I have said I am hoping for certain dispensations for RLE. Maybe I'll get them, maybe I won't. Regardless I'm keen to be doing things now that I have made up my mind. Even if they lead me in the wrong direction for the moment.
HRT, FFS and SRS here I come!

Thanks for being thoughtful with that FFS video too.
Ciao bella,
xoxo,
Roxanne.

[AnonyMs]

My plan if I ever social social transition my plan is to try to make the transition time as short as possible. I've been on HRT a long time so I'll have as much change there as possible.

I've not done any facial hair removal though and that would very slow. Probably I'd do electrolysis while still presenting male, then get FFS and BA and swap immediately after that. Maybe 1 to 2 years delay from where I'm at now. I've no idea though if it would work like that in practice; only one way to find out.

[roxie rudi]

Hi Ms. I have to admit that I might take a very similar route myself. HRT for about 10 months to a year while trying to present as male. Then immediately undergo FFS into full time followed by SRS. But the shrinkage in muscle mass from HRT will cause a lack of physical strength which will get noticed because of my job. Oh well, I'll just sail on into my dream no matter what.  Onward, ever onward!
However I am in too much of a hurry to take my time and be considered. The gates are open now and I'm running. At least I have surgery money put away in term deposits which I don't have to otherwise touch.
But I have to say that you're a mystery, in a cool way. You will be a butterfly, suddenly beautiful!

[roxie rudi]

I'm off to see an old friend in the morning so good night, sleep well!

Ciao bella,
xoxo,
Roxanne.

[AnonyMs]

I feel like more like a mystery in a crazy way.

If your job is very physical you may have trouble hiding breast development. If you do the usual vests and baggy shirts it can get very hot. You might not be able to keep it up on the Sydney heat. Depends on how much and how fast they grow as well.

A beard hides your facial changes, so I've kept it. I look odd otherwise.

Does anyone know if you have to fully clear facial hair before FFS?

[roxie rudi]

Thanks again Ms, I'm sure you'll be a mystery in a beautiful way. Just being your true self is a beautiful thing.
Yep you're certainly right about clothes and the heat but I should be undergoing HRT's most notable changes once summer is over and I don't care about growing a beard because it will be in the best of causes to me. To have breasts is a wonderful thing for me so I will do what is necessary. And remember I said that I am sneaky so if hiding my transition needs baggy clothes then so be it!
If I have to change industry then I will. I at least have an Occupational First Aid ticket alongside Cert 4s and Diplomas from TAFE that might allow for this.
Oh no....I should have thought about facial hair, FFS and timing! I wish I had been as considered as some of my cleverer sisters. Like you. But oh well can't win 'em all. Or any of 'em. But if you check out other posts of mine in this thread you will note that my plate is somewhat full at present because of my breathless run for some open gates. In short I have only recently decided to undergo a long overdue transition and I am trying very hard to avoid anything that might delay this but I am obviously forgetting things in my rush.


Ciao bella,
xoxo,
Roxanne. 

[Serenation]

Hi Roxie, your thoughts on RLE are pretty much most peoples. Isn't Sydney the most LGBT friendly place in Australia? I grew up in a rough place so I know how it is, unthinkable for anyone to be gay let alone trans. 

[roxie rudi]

Hi Serenation.
Yes parts of Sydney certainly are LGBT friendly whereas parts of Sydney are far from LGBT friendly. Admittedly Australia in general is pretty laid back vis a vis LGBT matters but it still is dangerous in many places because ignorance abides among those without the wherewithal to live better lives or receive better educations. But that's not their fault.
To steel some old Midnight Oil lyrics I will say this;
"The rich get richer,
the poor get the picture,
and I just don't know!
You wouldn't read about it!"

[Catherine Sarah]

But Dr Jon Hayes' office has already okayed my initial appointment. Did you mean his initial HRT prescriptions (or whatever they're called)?
On this subject does it have to be a psychiatrist's letter or can I make do with either a counseller's or a psychologist's letter? Remembering that I already obviously have a referral from a gp .........

Hi Roxie,

Essentially to go by the letter of the law, Dr. Hayes needs a letter from a licences Psychiatrist stating that after examination he has found no co morbidities or psychiatric conditions that would impede your transition and recommends you for hormone replacement therapy. The rest is up to Jon.

A psychologist is not trained in this type of work to make such a statement.  Have you got a Psych in mind? Do you know Dr.Patrick Toohey, Concord Hosp?? or Dr. Brash Warners Bay?

Huggs
Catherine

[AnonyMs]

Essentially to go by the letter of the law, Dr. Hayes needs a letter from a licences Psychiatrist stating that after examination he has found no co morbidities or psychiatric conditions that would impede your transition and recommends you for hormone replacement therapy. The rest is up to Jon.

Actually that's not quite correct. He's free to do whatever he thinks best, which would appear to be asking to a psych letter.

[roxie rudi]

Thanks very much for helping out a newcomer girls.
I will hope for the best in regards to my initial appointment with Dr Jon Hayes and I have been trying to arrange an appointment with a psychiatrist, Dr Michael Scott. I was given the names of Dr Carlson Loke and Dr Toohey by my Gender Centre counseller but Dr Loke has absolutely no appointments available, ANYTIME, and Dr Toohey and Dr Scott are still both on Chrissy hols. Additionally I called Dr Hayes' office yesterday and was told that a psychiatrist's letter was what was usually asked for. Furthermore I have left an email and a phone message with Dr scott.
Regardless I will just keep at these guys until they see the truths of the real me! I will not give up because to do so would only cause me to spiral into the very pits of hell and I just want to be happy and free as the woman I often cry myself to sleep as now that I know what is available for the purposes of transitioning.
No I hadn't heard of Dr Brash Catherine but thanks! Another opportunity to pursue. Away I will go to the phone!

[roxie rudi]

Yay! Yay! Hooray! I have just made an appointment with a psychiatrist for the 25th of this month and it's on one of my fixed RDOs! It even preempts my appointment with Dr Hayes. But taking the good with the not so good my consultation is to be with Dr Patrick Toohey of whom I have read some negative things on this site...oh well, at least I'm not standing still! Yet.
I have also received a reply via email from my Gender Centre counseller that is very lovely and wonderfully encouraging!
I just hope some bad news doesn't now show up to hurt me.
Anyway girls I'm off to my GP to organise a referral for Dr Toohey, bye!

We all will bloom! I will bloom too! We all are beautiful!  I am beautiful too!

Ciao mi amores,
xoxo,
Roxanne.

[Ms Grace]

I saw Toohey for my "second opinion" letter and I know some people find him a bit old school but honestly I found him to be a very supportive psyche. He sees a large number of trans people on a regular basis - I'd suggest being factual with him, he'll probably try to give you a bit of a lesson about the brain or something but he should be OK. If you have a letter from your counsellor detailing treatment to date it will probably make things go a lot more smoothly.

[roxie rudi]

Hi Grace.
Thank you for your info, what you have said about Dr Toohey is encouraging me. I have also just emailed my counseller desperately asking for her help in providing an outline of her treatment for this purpose. She's always helpful and I thus have reason to hope for her timely aid in this matter.

Bye!
xoxo,
Roxanne.

[roxie rudi]

Grace I feel like I will be tested. But I know what I feel about my true self. It's OVERWHELMING. Sometimes I feel like my breath has been taken and sometimes I find myself sobbing. Though I am never inured to it.
But your suggestion to be factual will help to ground me for this appointment. Thank you.

[Ritana]

Hi Roxy rudl

Coming from a post-op girl, I can understand your frustration and hastiness. However, trying to rush transition and complete SRS before even living full time  or having laser hair removal is never a good idea in my opinion.

The purpose if RLE is not to lake your life more difficult. On the contrary, RLE just makes you realise the huge challenges that await you living as a full time woman. I am not a psychiatrist, nor do I think I have the right to say who should have hrt or srs. However, I am a firm believer in the fact that RLE has its huge merits. It makes the transition process smoother and more gradual. It helps you explore the challenges/ difficulties living as a transgendered woman. It will also help you find your own style,  clothing, mannerism, voice as well as help you develop strategies to deal with transphobia in all its forms, which in turn will help you effectivelt integrate into society as a woman. The occuoational aspect of RLE is.equally important as it will show you whether you can operate in society and make a living as a woman.  I know of people who have detransitioned, and a few months after going full time. They realised they couldn't assume living as a female for whatever reason. They were also glad they hadn't undertaken any non-reversible steps such as ffs or SRS. These were people who were initially as sure as God made apples that they wanted to fully transition into being a female. So RLE has its merits, in my opinion, and it's there for a reason so please don't rush things, hun.


I did it the other way around actually. I went full time for a few months while after having had 6 sessions of laser hair removal. Then, I had two gender specialist aporoval for hrt. The rest is a smooth and gradual progression into being the happy stealth post-op woman I am today.

Hugs,

Rita