My public coming out letter

[Susan]

I just got finished posting this to my male facebook account which has 1200 friends...

I recently posted on Facebook that 2016 is going to be the best year of my life, and I'm about to share part of that with you. After you read this you will understand why this was one of the hardest posts on Facebook that I've ever had to make!

I am a transsexual.

I'm telling you this because I am going to be going through some changes over the course of the coming year. Bill Larson is going away, and Susan Elizabeth Larson is taking his place. Today, I instructed my attorney to file papers with the courts for my name to be legally changed from William to Susan.

I want to make it clear to everyone, that I am the exact same person today, as I was yesterday before you were introduced to the real me! I am simply able to be more open and honest with you all. My immediate family, close friends, and coworkers have known for years.

If you are interested in learning more about transsexualism read the following page on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transsexual, and to understand the science behind it I would recommend: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_transsexualism

Please allow me share a little personal history with you, this isn't something that I just suddenly decided to do on a whim.

From my earliest memories, I have always felt a sense of wrongness about myself, my body, and how others interacted with me. I had no name for it, but I felt it nonetheless. As I grew older I realized what it was, and that others did not feel the same way that I did. I was being raised as a boy, but I knew with all my heart that I wasn't.

As a child I played dress-up with my sisters and I loved it! However, I was smart enough not to tell them, or anyone else about why or how much I liked it. Don't get me wrong here. It wasn't a feeling of sexual excitement. For me it was a feeling of at last becoming a girl, however superficially.

I can't begin to tell you how hard something like that is to grow up with. I turned first to religion, praying to God and asking for him to make this right. My prayer was simple, make me what my heart mind and soul were screaming to me that I was a girl. When that didn't work, I started praying for God to let me die. Something that I have done every time I prayed for the last 20 plus years, and something that I will no longer do!

As a teenager I was angry and sullen. My sense of wrongness with my body deepened with puberty. The changes horrified me. The body hair that sprouted from my arms and the peach fuzz on my face was a deepening difference between myself, and the girl that I knew I was inside. Girls just didn't have facial hair. I took up shaving to get rid of it; which is something I deeply detest doing now. My facial hair wouldn't be a nearly as bad if I hadn't done so. My voice changing was sickening to me. Losing the sweet girlish sounding voice I had as a child sent me into deep despair.

By this time, I knew what I was. When I watched the Christine Jorgensen Story on TV, I immediately knew what my goal in life would be, to transition totally from male to female. I have not wavered from this goal ever since. Suddenly the world opened up for me. Something could be done about the condition I have lived with since my birth. The problem was however that I lacked the funds to do so.

I dug for every bit of information I could find about people like me. I called bulletin boards (this was before the internet) dedicated to the topic, and devoured every piece of scientific research I could find on the subject.

As a young adult I came out of the closet for the first time, after two of my female coworkers (who suspected the truth) got me drunk one night after work, and then asked me repeatedly about it. They wore me down until I finally admitted it to the first people other than myself.

Telling someone that you are transgender is one of the hardest things that a transgender person has to do. Before you tell them it feels as if you are carrying a bowling ball in the pit of your stomach. After you tell them, and they accept you it's like being on an emotional rocket ship to the moon. I have always followed the motto prepare for the worst, and hope for the best."

I told my mom shortly after coming out to them. She told me while she didn't like it, she understood. You see she knew then that she was losing her only son. She told me that before my birth the doctor had told her that based on fetal size, positioning, and heart rate that she was going to have another baby girl. She also told me that she believed that my birth father was transgender. That was something I had not known until that point. We never really discussed it again. I subsequently came out to my sisters and co-workers. All of whom were accepting.

In late 1995 when I was 24 years old, I started up "Susan's Place Transgender Resources," a peer support website for transgender individuals. It is intended as a safe space where transgender people can provide assistance to one another, it has the additional mission of educating the public. I have run it ever since.

It is now the world's largest transgender website. Around 250,000 people a month visit it accounting for 7 million pageviews a month. To give you some idea of the sheer size I have a staff of 80 volunteers who make it possible to run it, and in 2015 2.7 million people visited the Susan's Place website, accounting for just shy of 100 million page views.

It has saved the lives of thousands of people around the world over the last 20 years. I have received messages of gratitude from several hundred people directly. And for every thank you that is received, there are hundreds more whom you have helped who do not send one. I would estimate that 90% of the world's transgender community has passed through my web site at one time or another.

In my late 20s I started therapy with a renowned gender therapist by the name of Gianna Israel. Gianna diagnosed me officially as a transsexual. She literally wrote the book on the topic with Donald E. Tarver. Their book has educated many doctors on the subject.

With her help, I was able to begin hormone replacement therapy, replacing the male hormones that flooded my body with female hormones resulting in a massive mental improvement, and the development of some secondary female characteristics including breasts.

A few years later due to a worsening economic situation I had to stop taking the hormones and put my transition on hold.

On Christmas day, my sister and niece gave me gifts that made it perfectly clear that they support me, and I guess that's what I have been waiting for. I decided it's time to move my transition forward again.

Going forward

I have already switched my wardrobe from male to female. In reality I did it years ago, but dressed androgynously (neither overtly male nor female). However, as many of you know I almost always wore a men's coat even in the heat of summer. It was as a psychological shield between my true self, and everyone else.

Let me make it clear that I will no longer be doing so. I am Susan 100%.

I am getting my name legally changed, So I ask that everyone please either use female pronouns (she, her, hers, herself), or if that distresses you for whatever reason gender neutral pronouns (they, them, their, theirs, themselves) are also acceptable.

I will occasionally have to use the restroom when out in public. Let me make it clear that I will not be using a men's room since my presentation is female. I keep a letter from my therapist that I keep in my car's glove box, and will be happy to let you read it upon request. I will only be in the restroom to use the facilities, or to check my face; the same as any other woman! I am not there to ogle anyone, and I hope that others will return the favor!

I plan on having my gender confirmation surgery (sex reassignment surgery) at some point in the near future.

Let me make this perfectly clear, this is not something that I have chosen! Trust me, there was never any choice in the matter! I fought it as hard as I could for many years, even enlisting in the military figuring that would beat it out of me. It didn't work!

It is only since I have accepted what and who I am, and all which that entails; that the spiritual turmoil that I experienced while fighting it went away. I truly believe that this is the path that I was intended to follow in life. Either way I have faith that God will understand and support my course of action in life.

I am sure most of my friends will accept me for who I am, and I thank you in advance for your understanding! For everyone else I would certainly appreciate your support on my journey. For those who can't or won't, I will not hold it against you, and wish you well in life!

Thank you!
Susan Elizabeth Larson

[Devlyn]

Big hug! Just like I tell everyone else: All the little steps add up to get you where you're going .....boss! 

Hugs, Devlyn

[stephaniec]

congrats, cookies in the break room.

[suzifrommd]

 

[traci_k]

Congrats and wishing you the best as you go forward.

Hugs,

Traci

[Susan]

1 hour in.... I abbreviated the last names for their privacy.

Maurice V., Angela T., Gabriela D. and 22 others like this.

Gina G.
I hope you have a smooth transition, Susan. Be strong!

Gail G.
Susan, I wish you every blessing God has to offer as you become who you were meant to be! You go, girl!

Paula P.
Thank you for your courage and honesty-I wish you great happiness! May people be as kind and supportive to you as you have been to others!

Stuart B.
Blessings to you, Susan.

Ben M.
Congrats and best wishes during your transition!

Whitney G.
I already had such great respect for you, but today it's reached a new high. Thank you for sharing your journey. You're beautiful. Congrats!

Thomya J.
Love u Susan!! Do u girl and screw the rest!!

Bryce C.
Nice to meet you, Susan! happy for you!

Lois J.
Susan, the core of who you are, was, has been, and always will be the same...a loving, kind, human being who is a great friend. I am proud of you for sharing your truth and hope that all who already love you will be there in support. Susan Elizabeth Larson, welcome to the light...

Pamela A.
You rock!

Patricia H.
Very brave and strong woman you are Susan! No one can judge us except for God, and I believe all things happen for a reason. You are doing the right thing. God bless you and good luck!

Janese C.
Susan rock on we all have journeys that we face in this life. Your true friends well stand with you no matter what. Stand strong and proud and God will handle those that don't understand or support you. Your friend Janese

Angela T.
Congratulations, Susan! Your openness is amazing! Thanks for sharing your perspective and answering so many questions. I know it can only help you in the future, but I am glad to share the info to thwart the spread of ignorance and intolerance.

Maurice V.
Same heart, always my friend

[BeverlyAnn]

Fantastic letter, Susan and such heartwarming responses.  I have my letter pretty much ready to go out to family and was going to send it at the end of January.  However my wife and her siblings are having a weekend get together for just them at the end of February so I'm postponing the letter.  I want them to be able to enjoy a reunion without the subject of me being the elephant in the room.  So now it looks like early March for my letter to go out.

[Emjay]

Congratulations!  I came out at work in November and later that same day on Facebook and everywhere else as well.  It's been a wonderful experience for me and from the looks of it for you too! 

The level of acceptance I have gotten was way beyond my wildest dreams and I'm grateful for that every single day.  I'm so glad you're experiencing the same!

Welcome to freedom! 

[Eva Marie]

Wow what a big step! Congrats! 

[Adena]

I just got done posting this to my male facebook which has 1200 friends...

"...
In late 1995 when I was 24 years old, I started up "Susan's Place Transgender Resources," a peer support website for transgender individuals. It is intended as a safe space where transgender people can provide assistance to one another, it has the additional mission of educating the public. I have run it ever since...."

Wow - I had no idea this site has been here for 20+ years!  In my short time here I have been touched by others and amazed at how will Susan's Place indeed succeeds in making this a safe place for us to share from our lives and our hearts.

Thanks Susan for sharing a very positive letter - and I am encouraged to hear of all the positive responses you have received!

Love,
Denali

[Susan]

2 hours in. Last names abbreviated for their privacy...

Lindsay N., Emma L., Jaime T. and 34 others like this.

Aurelia M.
Best of luck on your journey into becoming the woman you know you are.

Kim W.
Same person to me, do what makes u happy

Philip G.
Goodbye, Bill; hello, Susan. Be happy.

Melanie T.
Welcome Susan!

Samantha H.
Best wishes and looking forward to getting to know the real you Susan!

Tina B.
Goodbye Bill and welcome Susan. Congratulations on FINALLY living your truth. I have suspected since I first met you photographing one of my events. You say that you are still the same you, but you won't be. You will be much happier, secure and confident in being true to yourself. Remain strong during the transition and never stop being true to yourself!!!

Joann L.
I'm happy for you Susan. It has been on my to do list to catch up on things with you; looking forward to doing lunch with you soon.

Melinda K.
Loved you then....love Susan as well! Much happiness to you and your newfound freedom!

Emma L.
Congratulations Susan!! I am so happy for you. You have already done so much for our community. You are one of my heroines in so many ways. Congratulations !!!!!!

[Cindy]

Lovely responses!
Congrats Hon !

[cindianna_jones]

I know it has taken you a very long time to get to this place. Good for you!

Cindi

[cathyrains]

This is clearly a big day for you Susan.

Small point: Gianna Israel, from whom you received your letter, died in 2006. I would think it prudent to consider getting a new letter of confirmation in the near future.

[Susan]

This is clearly a big day for you Susan.

Small point: Gianna Israel, from whom you received your letter, died in 2006. I would think it prudent to consider getting a new letter of confirmation in the near future.

I will but it will be a surgery letter. She may have since died, but her diagnosis is still 100% valid.

[TG CLare]

Dear Susan. That's a wonderful letter. I'm not on facebook but if I was I'd say "Be who you really are".

Oh, thank you for this WONDERFUL site!!!

Love,
Clare

[cathyrains]

I will but it will be a surgery letter. She may have since died, but her diagnosis is still 100% valid.

Of pertinence to my own situation (in my interactions with several therapists over the years) : I note that Gianna was based in San Francisco at the time you obtained your letter. Did you have to travel to San Francisco for your weekly consultation or was it done via correspondance or telephone...or other?

[Susan]

She provided telephone based counseling for people who did not have the resources available in their community to do it in person.

[in.Chains]

Congratulations to you Susan on leaping over another difficult hurdle in your life. And thank you for providing all of us with this incredible, and valuable resource. We all appreciate you and your work immensely. <3

[katrinaw]

A very definitive and positive announcement

I will certainly take your lead when I have to do the same at some point over the next 12 months  or so...

Best wishes


L Katy xxx