Talking to mom

[Rp1713]

I saw my mom yesterday when I went to help my younger sister move. She just asked me if I was okay because I didn't seem like myself. I told her I'll be okay I'm just dealing with some anxiety and stuff lately and made some other excuses. Then she asked me if there was anything in particular I was anxious about. I suspect that she saw on some sort of health insurance bill that I started seeing a therapist, and since she's a therapist herself possibly even was curious enough to look her up and saw what she specializes. Regardless of whether she did or not, i know she'll be supportive and understanding, and I want to tell her about what I'm going through, I'm just not ready. What can I say to her that won't freak her out but will sort of avoid the subject for now. I was already down as it is today and now feeling like this about things with my mom has made me feel even worse. Tonight is just not the night to have this conversation with her. Anyone have any advice on what to say?


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[Dena]

As you mom is a therapist, you should only need to tell her you are transgender and anything else you know about yourself. She will take it from there and ask what she wants to know. Have the conversation when you are ready but sooner would be better than latter as your mother appears to already be interested.

[Rachel]

You should tell your Mom when you are ready. If she asks or pushes then ask her for some space and you will discuss it when you are ready. You are allowed to have boundaries and she should understand that.

[Rp1713]

Thanks for the replys. Yes she is definitely interested. I have the desire to talk to her because we have Always been close but tonight is just not the night, I'm just not in the right place for that conversation now


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[rosetyler]

"Mom, I've got some things on my mind lately, but I'm in the process of working through them.  I appreciate your concern and will discuss it soon, when I'm ready."  If she's any good at her job she will not push you.

[Late arrival]

I know what you're going through. I recently realized my situation and it's been driving me nuts on how I want to tell people. I just want to scream it out to the world that I'm a girl, but I'm just not ready to. I think I'll tell my dad, either of two of my cousins, or my best friend since middle school first since theyre the most accepting people I know. But I'm just not ready.

[Laura_7]

Why are you not ready ? Sometimes its old, unnecessary fears...
Just a hint... its up to you what you do...

Here are a few resources that could help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901


hugs

[Rp1713]

Why are you not ready ? Sometimes its old, unnecessary fears...
Just a hint... its up to you what you do...

Here are a few resources that could help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901


hugs

It's not even so much that I'm not ready overall. In particular I just couldn't do it last night when she was asking me if I was okay because I was just not in a good place. I want to be able to be honest with her and not leave anything out or come across differently than I intend. Last night I would not have been capable of that.


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[Qrachel]

"Mom, I've got some things on my mind lately, but I'm in the process of working through them.  I appreciate your concern and will discuss it soon, when I'm ready."  If she's any good at her job she will not push you.

Good advice above . . . also, consider mom's probably reacting based on the fact you have a good relationship.  So it's natural that she's interested and concerned. 

My personal experience and that's all it is:  Once the genie even gets a wiff that getting out of the bottle is possible, waiting is to disclose creates its own set of problems.

Take good care and stay in touch,

Rachel

[Late arrival]

Why are you not ready ? Sometimes its old, unnecessary fears...
Just a hint... its up to you what you do...

Here are a few resources that could help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901


hugs

Well, even though I've had the feeling that I'm supposed to be a girl, and that my best friend has had a feeling that I'm trans since he got to know me. Up until now I haven't wanted to act on it. But that also might be from my family who don't really appreciate gay or trams people to say the least.
So that part could have just been me hiding it in fear. I'm pretty sure I was in fear-based denial of it for quite a long time. I even think that I might have told my parents in a short period of time if they hadn't of gotten divorced. And that would have been the perfect time too! I was about 9 years old so my parents trusted me to make my own decisions, and I would've been young enough that the hormones could've done a lot more pronounced work and my voice would've sounded feminine.
I guess life just gives you the short straw every once in a while.