worse than I expected from my dad

[MichaelaLJ1972]

So, I had to finally say something to my dad. I am his live in caregiver and it's only going to be a matter of time before I can't really hide what's going on. His response was not horrible, but also worse than I expected. I knew he might be upset, but he actually told me that I better keep my boobs strapped down or I'm out of here. He also said I won't be getting any surgery while being under his roof. I really should have waited to say something until I had more support with me.

What upsets me the most is that he always acts so tough like this when it suits his needs, but in reality, he can't do a darn thing by himself. I have been taking care of all his finances, medical stuff and household for quite a few years now. If my mom was still alive, she'd smack him upside the head for being such a cold hearted bleepity bleep!

Hopefully he's just experiencing a bit of initial shock and will be ok later. I'm just really upset right now.

[Devlyn]

Big hug! I understand how you feel. You're showing a lot more compassion and understanding than he is. Best wishes dealing with him, I hope everything turns out OK.

Hugs, Devlyn

[stephaniec]

difficult position ,best wishes.

[byanyothername]

Hugs! He will be in shock and hopefully will come around :-) until then, more hugs!


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[Tamika Olivia]

I think that a lot of parents of adult LGBT children tend to not realize that the power dynamics of the relationship are different than they were when that child was a child. Parents are the one's that need to fear the child's rejection, not vice versa. Your situation illustrates the new power dynamic. Give your dad some time to get over the shock, and if his attitude fails to change, leverage your power. You have no obligation to associate with, much less care for, someone who emotionally abuses you.

[Laura_7]

*hugs*

here are a few resources that could help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

hope they come around...


*hugs*

[MichaelaLJ1972]

Thanks all! Like I said, I'm just hoping this is initial shock. At this point we both do need each other, so it would be good if he could eventually come around to some understanding. I am his caregiver and I have a lot of responsibilities to take care of in our current living situation. I think he forgets that I am not 5 years old any longer. I can make decisions for myself and he doesn't need to approve.