I'm just out of luck when it comes to transitioning and getting on hormones

[EmilyRyan]

I'm sick and tired of not being able to transition!!  I stand to live another day not on hormones but there's nothing I can do about it other breaking down and crying like I'm doing right now.  I can't move away from my transphobic parents because I'm too worthless and incompetent to maintain even the most minimum wage job.

Why do I have to be unlucky!? There's sooo many people around my age or younger being able to transition because their parents are supportive but as for me heck no I have to have the ones that think it's freaking wrong and can't do nothing but freaking suffer!!!

Oh and don't even get me started on healthcare it's ****ing unaffordable wow thank you for making things more sufferable for me!! 

I'm just out of luck can't get on hormones to save my freaking life might as just end it all since there's no solution that's plausible or affordable. 

[Ms Grace]

Emily you are just plain wrong on many counts - certainly harming yourself is the least reasonable thing to do. You say there is no solution and yet there are plenty, you just need to find one that works for you. You say that you are too "worthless and incompetent" to stay in a job - I find that very hard to believe, I believe that's what you think about yourself but I'm certain you can find and keep a job if you put your mind to it. And let's face it, that is ultimately your only solution here - get a job, make money, move away from your folks, start working on your transition. Yes, that may take you many, many months but that's better than it never happening and it's certainly much better than you trying to harm yourself. Yes, some people are lucky. Many are not - and when you don't have any luck then you have to make your own. You clearly don't have a lot of confidence in yourself or your abilities and that needs to change if you are to apply yourself to finding a job and moving on with your life and transition.

[KarynMcD]

Read the post linked in this thread: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,201903.0.html

[EmilyRyan]

Emily you are just plain wrong on many counts - certainly harming yourself is the least reasonable thing to do. You say there is no solution and yet there are plenty, you just need to find one that works for you. You say that you are too "worthless and incompetent" to stay in a job - I find that very hard to believe, I believe that's what you think about yourself but I'm certain you can find and keep a job if you put your mind to it. And let's face it, that is ultimately your only solution here - get a job, make money, move away from your folks, start working on your transition. Yes, that may take you many, many months but that's better than it never happening and it's certainly much better than you trying to harm yourself. Yes, some people are lucky. Many are not - and when you don't have any luck then you have to make your own. You clearly don't have a lot of confidence in yourself or your abilities and that needs to change if you are to apply yourself to finding a job and moving on with your life and transition.

Unfortunately my previous employment history says otherwise there's a reason I was let go from the two jobs I've worked despite all efforts to improve and get better at them.

As for solutions to better my situation I search day and night hoping to find something that can help but to no avail and sorry I've never in my life been able to think outside the box in any kind of situation that's probably why there is no hope to make things better.

[EmilyRyan]

Is there any other solutions I can turn to??  Please I really need help I'm all out of ideas of what to do 

[FTMax]

Have you looked into SSD/SSI? If you are truly unable to work, these programs would supply you with an income and qualify you for other programs that would assist with expenses and healthcare costs. You would have to demonstrate that you have a history of functional limitations that makes regular work activity possible.

[EmilyRyan]

In Tennessee that's pretty impossible the state has it easily set up to deny stuff like that even with documentation

[Janes Groove]

2 years ago i was coming out of a major depressive episode where I was thinking of suicide. when i began to emerge i was 56, without a job, without any prospects and only skilled at things i didn't want to do anymore and a ton of work to do finally accepting my dawning transgender identity.  but i've made over $120,000 since then and now i have multiple sources of income from my fix and flip, ebay store, alley scrapping, and craigslist reselling, i was metal scrapping last year until the market fell out. i've got my fingers in a lot of pies and looking to put my fingers in more pies all the time.  but my journey has showed me that what i really want to do is concentrate on my ebay store selling womens clothes.  it fits me so good with my transition and my goal of getting into the women's fashion industry someday.  it pays the least and yet i enjoy it the most. so i'm paying my dues now, learning labels, what sells, what doesn't, what women are wearing today, etc.  just showing up. day to day. life will surprise me if i let it.

[FTMax]

http://www.disabilitysecrets.com/disability-resources-tennessee.html

Initially Tennessee is below the national average in terms of approval (24%, 33% after reconsideration), until you get to the appeals phase. Then it rises above the national average to a 63% approval rate. It's a lengthy process, but I would say a 63% approval rate is worth pursuing if you truly have no other options and cannot work.

The best way to get out of dead end situations is to cover as many options as possible. If I were in your shoes, I'd be collecting evidence for SSD, considering enrolling in some kind of educational program, and looking for some kind of work experience paid or unpaid. I'd also be looking into cheap ways and places to move. You've got to work on your outlook too like Ms. Grace said. For any of those options I listed above that I'd be pursuing if I were in a similar situation, having a "can't do" attitude is not going to get you anywhere. I'm sure there is something that you're good at or something that you're passionate about. Why not start pursuing that while you're stuck at home with minimal expenses?

[EmilyRyan]

Thank ya for trying to help and giving advice I truly appreciate it.

I'm sorry but I just don't think getting on SSD is gonna work the process itself is way too rigorous for me to handle and on top of that I doubt any of my short comings are grounds for any sort of disability in general I'm just a **** up that can't do anything right I flunked out of a four year college back in 2012 and was too scared to get help and now I tried becoming a teacher thinking you know I do have a broad span of knowledge why not try to teach only to fail both education courses I took during the fall semester.  Of course what do I do I sweep it under the rug because my dad does not need to know I failed yet again and the reason I'm going back this semester is because the college is the only refuge I have and I can be around my friends. 

With my state of dysphoria I can't wait another year or two I just can't I know it's never too late and patience is virtue in this case It's torture and It's torture when I can't use an excellent insurance policy under my dad's plan (24 years old here and still under his plan) that can more than cover what I need as far as transitioning.  I wouldn't be posting these desperate pleas instead of giving words of encouragement and help if my parents would get out of their ignorant world under a rock and support their child that still actually loves them despite the rejection because isn't that what unconditional supposed to be??

But seriously I do appreciate the replies and thank you It helps me to know that there are those who care and once again thank      

[Brandii]

Confidence is what you need to find first. I never had much of it growing up in a strict Christian family-also in TN. I finally found mine in karate school. That helped me to find there were a great many things I could do well and my teachers helped me alot. Disability is gonna be tough at first-they turn everybody down. I have been out of work for a year and a half with arthritis and my savings is all but gone. Things are tight but we make it somehow. I too had thoughts of ending it but that was only my fears, frustrations, and emotions coming out in a negative way. It took a while but I pulled out of the fog. I can't afford meds so I find other things I can do without money like styling my hair, plucking unwanted hair, learn all I possibly can from videos on youtube, look at clothes, voice practice, and on and on.

Yes, there are many here who struggle just to survive another day. I have problems with money but consider myself most fortunate now that I am once again making small steps toward what I need to do. Please don't give up-fight for it. If you have to- Wait for it. There will always be another day to begin again.

[EmilyRyan]

IT DOESN"T GET BETTER!!!

There's nothing out there to help

If I can't transition and be myself then I just won't freaking live and I'll make sure my parents are vilified because they can help but they don't wanna support. 

[EmilyRyan]

Alright forget that last post I posted that was just irrational on my part.  Today's gonna be a good day I'm gonna go do a little shopping hopefully get a cute new bra or a pair of leggings. Yeah I'm gonna try and stay positive today

[Brandii]

I have struggled as you are now more times than I can count. The easiest thing to do is give up. For me time is the biggest factor. When I first began learning who I really am I wanted to know everything, do everything right then not knowing just how much there is to learn-and how that knowledge would effect those around me. And it has to be covered in a rational way or you will get lost in the fog. Try not to be in a hurry but chill and let it happen slowly over time.

I am older now and less inclined to be in a hurry to do anything but over the past few years -while self medicating and detransitioning twice- I look like a woman even when I don't try to, I haven't had meds for a long time now but I still feel my boobs itch occasionally and they will perk up on their own which tells me growth is still happening but slowly.

Other people around you will not understand any of it and will have difficulty accepting anything that challenges their own ideas of sexuality. And some will be explosive in response so handle them carefully and with caution. What we do is not easy but worth the time spent in the process.

[Kclaire86]

If you're an Independent (You file for yourself come Tax season) and are unemployed... you can seek out Medicaid coverage.
I "THINK" the breakdown is something like this (Obamacare Laws)
Granted you file independently
If you make < 15k/ year you can get on Medicaid (Free (yes free!) health insurance, Covers 99% of your meds and doctors pertaining to your transition, I had this for 1 year)
If you make 15k-19k? You can get on Government subsidized Private Insurance (Like Blue Cross. The government pays for part of your coverage)
If you make over 20k? You are on your own.

This above rules are moot if your company provides health insurance. The trick with Medicaid is finding a popular insurance through Medicaid (Kaiser Permanente Etc) and finding Therapists and Doctors that accept Medicaid (they exist )

I hope this helps!!

[Qrachel]

Hi:

One thing that comes to mind:  Move to a progressive state (e.g. FL, MA, CA, MI, OR, WA, and many others).  There you will find services more readily.  You'll have to deal with residency issues for a while and that may require some planning but it's possible.

Rachel

[EmilyRyan]

If you're an Independent (You file for yourself come Tax season) and are unemployed... you can seek out Medicaid coverage.
I "THINK" the breakdown is something like this (Obamacare Laws)
Granted you file independently
If you make < 15k/ year you can get on Medicaid (Free (yes free!) health insurance, Covers 99% of your meds and doctors pertaining to your transition, I had this for 1 year)
If you make 15k-19k? You can get on Government subsidized Private Insurance (Like Blue Cross. The government pays for part of your coverage)
If you make over 20k? You are on your own.

This above rules are moot if your company provides health insurance. The trick with Medicaid is finding a popular insurance through Medicaid (Kaiser Permanente Etc) and finding Therapists and Doctors that accept Medicaid (they exist )

I hope this helps!!

That's what I'm plan on working on these coming months hopefully with what resources and support I have it'll all workout.  And as for Medicaid in Tennessee I just don't know these qualifications are kinda discouraging:  https://www.tn.gov/tenncare/article/tenncare-medicaid, https://www.tn.gov/tenncare/article/tenncare-standard

The clinic I want to go to has a sliding scale and I just hope it's generous otherwise I might end up in Houston where this one clinic charges non-insured just $55 and that includes visits and blood work. 

Hi:

One thing that comes to mind:  Move to a progressive state (e.g. FL, MA, CA, MI, OR, WA, and many others).  There you will find services more readily.  You'll have to deal with residency issues for a while and that may require some planning but it's possible.

Rachel

I would love to move to more progressive state especially Maryland since they recently became more trans friendly and it's closest to my state in that regard but even with the services it'll be prohibitively expensive for me to live there and that goes to the other trans friendly states unfortunately costs of living just too high.

Ohh and in case any one is curious I did go shopping today and did manage to buy two cute bras and a pair of leggings all at a great price    

[EmilyRyan]

I do have something I would like answered even if it's not a definite one I just like to know something since I'm really having a hard time figuring it out for myself.

What would be an ultimate last resort thing to do if I exhausted all possibilities of achieving financial independence and all of them failed??  Granted I haven't exhausted all possibilities yet I do however like to prepare for a worst case scenario.  I mean if it comes to the point that I can never afford to see a doctor and get prescribe hormones to help get out of this daily torture I'm currently stuck in then what can I actually do to make transition possible??  Do then decide that it's time to bite the dust or do I resort to begging for money or do I try to reason with my transphobic parents to actually help??

I'm just wondering what options actually exist in the absolute worst out of luck situation??       

[Cindy]

OK I will tell you what happened to me.

Very Irish Roman Catholic parents who wanted a son, and got a daughter. Couldn't cope and neither could their daughter.

Their daughter had horrific experiences when she was 15-16 that drove her into total despair. Her parents couldn't cope with that and neither could she.

So she left home at 17 and found her own way. Worked like nuts at anything she could and some things she should never had done, to the damnation of what was left of a soul.

Found help - god knows how. Studied, worked, fed herself, clothed herself. Finally she decided there was no home no family no nothing in the country she was born in.

Got a cheap ticket to Australia, alone and 21 years old, with a pair of jeans and two T-shirts and five LPs. Sold the LPs. Found a job, found a better job, found a better one after that.

Lived.

Transitioned at 58, now an incredibly happy woman who has a lot of milage under the bonnet.

She never gave up, even though sometimes it would have been so damn easy to just sleep the sleep.

What would I do in your situation?

I would do what she did.

[EmilyRyan]

I'm glad to see that it worked out for you that's truly remarkable. 

Ok I hope you can help me answer this:  What kind of job and/or skill can I get/learn for someone that has proven to be unable to work fast paced and in fast paced situations (got let go from two jobs), can't operate a motor vehicle, has tried twice to get a four year degree and failed (though I did get a two year), and is nowhere near mechanically inclined for most trades but is still willing to try just not ones that require anything too complex and nothing that requires the ability to operate a utility vehicle.

Ohh and one more thing there is a program I might try to get in if possible at my college and I'm just curious if anyone could tell me what kind of jobs if any could I get if I were to earn this certification:  http://www.columbiastate.edu/docs/default-source/2015-2016-program-fliers/certificates/advanced-integrated-industrial-technology.pdf?sfvrsn=2
I don't think it'll be too hard to get and maybe I can do something what do ya think??