Quote from: Jessika on January 06, 2016, 01:37:40 PM
Hi all,
I was wondering...
How will I know when to go to the Courthouse and request my name change?
How will I know I am ready?
Gasp!
As you go through the process of gender transition, you begin to run into problems as manifestations of your emerging gender identity (presentation, hairstyle, dress, facial features, makeup, etc.) come into increasing conflict with your name, your documents, your drivers license and passport, your work and business relationships, etc. At first, these conflicts are small and avoidable or manageable. But they grow until it becomes difficult to do routine things like travel, or cash a check at your bank, or pick up a prescription at the pharmacy.
When you reach that point, the problems of the gender dissonance have come to outweigh benefits of continuity with your old gender identity. You may find yourself in a very uncomfortable position, like trying to explain to a cop (who stopped you because the tail light on your car has burned out?) why he should believe that you are really the owner of your car when the registration is in your guy name and you look nothing like the picture on your drivers license. At that point, it's clear that you waited
too long to change your name.
Here's the problem. While it's easy to know when you waited
too long, it's a lot harder to know when it's
too soon. The problems build up a little at a time. And continuity with your old identity has its conveniences and its advantages.
I guess it would be
too soon to make the change if you're still unsure you want to make the transition. And it would be
too soon if your transition is just beginning (for instance, if an m to f person is still presenting as male for work and business purposes and you have not yet experienced any noticeable changes in appearance from HRT).
So that's how it is. Difficult to know when it stops being
too soon, but easy to tell when you've waited
too long.
Here's a suggestion for something useful in the transition. Have a therapist or doctor write you a one-page "To Whom It May Concern" letter stating that you are under the Doc's care for gender identity issues, that you are in transition from [old name] to [new name] and the cooperation of the reader will be appreciated. Then carry that letter with you. A letter like that can be very helpful in convincing a bank manager to allow you access to your own bank account, even though you walked in with long hair and makeup and wearing a dress.
