When does it get easier?

[XxCosmicEvan]

  Okay so basically what's happening is I want to move because I can't stand it here anymore i want a apartment bad! My parents are accepting or as accepting as they possibly can be at this time and everything having to do with me is only recent to them. It's pretty recent to everybody else as well except I haven't told my sister note: me and my sister not only don't ever talk or get along but she also lives with a homophobic husband who is I'm sure also transphobic. I don't doubt the fact that my sister also has homophobia somewhere inside but I don't think she's a person who would admit that, however I know my sister well enough to say I've seen her become pretty homophobic herself without her realizing. I'm pretty scared to tell my family outside of my parents knowing and my aunt. My Parent is already taking it hard enough trying to accept the pronouns.  I'm scared half to death I don't want to lose contact with my nephew! (my sisters son) I don't think I would lose complete contact but I think it would strain everything around me and I think it would make the situation complicated and extremely uncomfortable for both ends. I'm not even ready to tell the outside world yet but I know once I tell my sister the words out forever because she doesn't keep secrets ever! neither does my parents! wonderful right? I'm wanting to move far away and not have to deal with anything!! why is this so unfair to people like us? does this stuff ever end seriously, does it?

[Dena]

We tend to get it worst but it happens for CIS as well. Something as simple a marrying the wrong person or going into the wrong profession can cause family issues like this. I am a bit on the stubborn side and I am willing to stick it out and see if I can win them over. It's not an easy path to take but in the long run it can produce more desirable results.

I had to move to where I could receive better treatment and while I had a better income, my living expenses went way up for food and an apartment. My transition may have been slowed some by the fact I couldn't accumulate money as fast and when unemployment, I did't have close family support.

At some point, everybody you know will have to know about you or they will have to be eliminated from your life. When you make that decision is up to you but you might want to start thinking about it.

[JoanneB]

As far as how trans people are seen and thought of, these days it is better. It is like a total alternate universe compared to that which I grew up in and tried to come out in some 40 years ago.

When I started taking on the trans-beast for real seven years ago, "It does get better" was often said here as well as by my support group members. Hundreds of sleepless nights and gallons of tears latter I can vouch for that. It does get better. Never perfect, but better

[Rachel]

You are in a difficult part right now. If you are not seeing a gender therapist you should. Also going to group helps a lot and you can meet some awesome friends.

Eventually you will tell or they will find out then they can decide how they will behave. If they accept you then great. If not then fill their void with another friend.

[Brandii]

When I listened to my therapist. This made all the difference.

[XxCosmicEvan]

You are in a difficult part right now. If you are not seeing a gender therapist you should. Also going to group helps a lot and you can meet some awesome friends.

Eventually you will tell or they will find out then they can decide how they will behave. If they accept you then great. If not then fill their void with another friend.

(I hope i'm quoting this right btw i don't know how to reply to people properly)
Just so you do know i have a Therapist he is a sweet person and helps me a lot in some areas
the problem is he is CIs gendered and sometimes as much as i hate to admit it that puts a strain on how he can
understand/relate to me and it creates a problem and then can make me feel sort of scared even more at times
like "Does he understand what he is giving to me" sorta thing i should address it but i don't want to put him down
for being cis gendered.  As for groups around here it's a great idea and i'm looking into that but there is so many appointments and things i'm dealing with i can only do so much at once but eventually i'll be in a group i hope.

[XxCosmicEvan]

As far as how trans people are seen and thought of, these days it is better. It is like a total alternate universe compared to that which I grew up in and tried to come out in some 40 years ago.

When I started taking on the trans-beast for real seven years ago, "It does get better" was often said here as well as by my support group members. Hundreds of sleepless nights and gallons of tears latter I can vouch for that. It does get better. Never perfect, but better

I don't doubt that i'm sure back then was even worse however
i still fear a lot and wish i could snap my fingers and everything be okay.
thank you though for saying that  sometimes it's all i need to hear is "It'll be okay" or "It gets better"
sometimes i find myself questioning but at least hearing others say that i can hold out hope.

[Cindy]

I know this may not help. But when I was young it was sheer Hell.

If you were Gay you were sent to gaol. If you were trans, electric shock therapy.

Now?

To be honest it is so hard for each individual but as a community it is a lot better. Nowadays I'm just seen as a normal person.

Which is a bit of a let down as I am utterly fantastic

[XxCosmicEvan]

I know this may not help. But when I was young it was sheer Hell.

If you were Gay you were sent to gaol. If you were trans, electric shock therapy.

Now?

To be honest it is so hard for each individual but as a community it is a lot better. Nowadays I'm just seen as a normal person.

Which is a bit of a let down as I am utterly fantastic

Nah it's good you're right however it still is a struggle as ignorant as it sometimes sounds it still sucks.
But yes i think my generation and others are in a good time.
What you say is 100% true and in a weird way when i think about it, it does help to know that no matter what
i got options because i happen to be born in a good time. But sometimes i don't care because i'm so depressed and down that i tend to look at negatives when i shouldn't.

[Ms Grace]

A cis person can be a great and understanding therapist for trans people... it all boils down to how good a therapist they are. I was surprised when I went to a gender centre to see a counsellor and he was a cis guy but he has been totally the best.

Anyway, "when does it get easier?" Well it really depends on a lot of things. You need to know what you are wanting to achieve and to have realistic expectations about those goals. Then you need to do something to reach them. If you miss the first time are you prepared to try again? It can be easy to have a defeatist attitude and even easier to believe that everything and everyone is against you and to blame them for it and to want it to all go away - but expressing your gender identity if you are trans is one of those things that just doesn't come easy and you need to work hard for it against all the critics and naysayers and haters and gatekeepers and biological hurdles. I don't mean to dissuade you or to sound like a glass half empty person - I just want you to understand it can get better but it won't happen without effort, determination and support.

[Cindy]

I remember a bad story about a person buried in an avalanche.

He recalled that he knew everything there was about the crystal structure of snowflakes and how beautiful they are.

Which he realised was utterly useless when he was buried under 500 tonne of snow.

For an old lady like me to say to a young person that it was worse in the past is sort of Monty Pythonish.

Of course it is horrible. Of course it is a fight. Of course your issues are totally important and my heart goes out to you.

Being TG is horrible. I would not wish it on anyone; even my haters.

But there is hope. You have a future. I know it seems impossible at times, but you do.

I realise that is small comfort.

Love you.

Be strong.

[XxCosmicEvan]

I remember a bad story about a person buried in an avalanche.

He recalled that he knew everything there was about the crystal structure of snowflakes and how beautiful they are.

Which he realised was utterly useless when he was buried under 500 tonne of snow.

For an old lady like me to say to a young person that it was worse in the past is sort of Monty Pythonish.

Of course it is horrible. Of course it is a fight. Of course your issues are totally important and my heart goes out to you.

Being TG is horrible. I would not wish it on anyone; even my haters.

But there is hope. You have a future. I know it seems impossible at times, but you do.

I realise that is small comfort.

Love you.

Be strong.

I love that story btw.
And the weird thing is i can't say i hate being trans because yea it sucks but it gives me a different perspective