Bathroom problems?

[XxCosmicEvan]

Recently iv'e been thinking about Bathrooms
where i live it isn't a big problem well, it's a problem but it isn't something that at the moment i can't handle.
Iv'e been avoiding bathrooms though unless it's for anyone iv'e noticed this becoming you could say a issue inside my head one that's fairly new but has been thought of before i just never you could say escalated into be caring until recently? Iv'e started thinking about if i decide to take T and now that i'm out to everyone as "He" What people are going to say/do if i use the bathrooms where is it appropriate and safe for me to go when i'm in a place that doesn't have gender neutral bathrooms and i can't just wait to use one at home. I don't want to walk into a female bathroom and be seen as female myself as female because i'm not female i'm male i wish to be recognized as male and going into a female bathroom creates problems for me in that sense. Then there is the issue i don't got a packer and iv'e never been in a guys bathroom before so i don't even know if i can use a male bathroom if all they have is urinals??? And around here most know me as "She" and see me as "She" even strangers so it could create danger for me if that happens. I haven't ran into this issue yet sense i'm lucky i don't go outside much and when i do leave it's not far away but i sometimes travel so what happens the day i travel? Guy's i'm getting freaked about this sense my life is in a way changing. I never had this issue before because i guess i never cared yea i never cared until i "Came out" then the trouble and questions started.

[KathyLauren]

If you are presenting as male, and especially if your family, friends and co-workers know you as male, then you should use the men's room if there is not a gender-neutral bathroom available.  There's no such thing as a men's room that has only urinals.  Men have to do #2, so they all have stalls, too.

Obviously, though, pay attention to your safety.  If people in there creep you out, it may be better to leave and use the women's.

[Kylo]

Whenever I use the guys' I just use the stall. There's always a stall. Never seen a guys' toilet without one.

[itsApril]

. . . Iv'e started thinking about if i decide to take T and now that i'm out to everyone as "He" What people are going to say/do if i use the bathrooms where is it appropriate and safe for me to go when i'm in a place that doesn't have gender neutral bathrooms and i can't just wait to use one at home. . . . Then there is the issue i don't got a packer and iv'e never been in a guys bathroom before so i don't even know if i can use a male bathroom if all they have is urinals??? And around here most know me as "She" and see me as "She" even strangers so it could create danger for me if that happens.

I agree with the other folks above.  Yes, men's rooms do have stalls.  That said, one thing to watch out for.  Often (for instance, if all the urinals are in use) men will urinate in the toilet in the stall.  Often, they don't raise the seat when they do, and the seat gets sprayed with urine.  Sorry if I'm grossing you out here, but it's a sad fact of life.  Some guys are really pigs.

When I lived as a male, I carried disposable alcohol wipes with me in case I needed to clean off a toilet seat before sitting on it.  (Truth be told, I still carry them and use them in ladies rooms as well.  But that's just me.)

Safety is another issue.  If you are perceived as female in the men's room, it's foreseeable that there may be problems.  I think most guys would just retreat in confusion.  But others may harass you.  (Did I mention above that some guys are really pigs?)

Oddly enough, this comes up occasionally in a way unrelated to gender identity.  Many buildings were designed and built on the assumption that men's and women's facilities would have roughly equal usage.  But that isn't how it works out.  For anatomical/biological reasons, women visit restrooms more frequently than men.  And they also spend more time there when they do.  (Figure it out for yourself.  It takes men only seconds to relieve themselves in a urinal.  But a woman has to sit down in the stall to urinate.)

The upshot is that in places with lots of people (stadiums, or nightclubs, or theaters, for instance) it often happens that there's no wait in the men's room, while in the women's room there's a long line of uncomfortable ladies shifting back and forth on their feet hoping to make it into the stall without disgracing themselves.

So occasionally it happens in these high traffic areas that women just rebel and go into the men's room anyway, just to avoid the long lines.  It's a little breakdown in the social order caused by necessity.  Usually it's not just one woman doing this - usually it's a group.  And there's safety in numbers.

[Peep]

Has anyone had problems sitting down to pee in the men's room? obvs in the stall. I don't have an STP but i want to be able to use the men's if there's no disabled/ neutral

[purplewuggybird]

It's usually no problem to sit down to pee. In my prior gendered life I would always sit down to pee just so i could sit and rest! Most people don't notice, much less care about it


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Tristyn]

To be honest, I am not as hellbent on getting bottom surgery done as I was when I first came out as trans. I don't see much reason for it, other than the image to help with feeling and looking like something more associated with masculinity. I don't really care for being able to pee standing up because I do have kidney failure and can't pee as much as regular people with fully functional kidneys, so I don't even care much for STPs either. I suppose this will change once I receive a kidney transplant years from now. >.>

I wish I could urinate standing up, but its not the end of the world to me for having to pee sitting down without the use of an STP. Though I get very anxious about using public restrooms because of this. I think there really are men's restrooms out there that do not have stalls and only urinals. I think these are mostly located in areas of great travelling distance or rest stops. But they do exist. What then could be done in a situation such as this? I guess if you have to go bad enough, but you don't feel safe using the men's room, better go with the ladies'. Its better to be safe than sorry, right?

[FTMax]

Never had any issues. I use a stall and sit to pee. When I get toilet paper to wipe, I usually pretend to blow my nose if other people are around. I've never had anyone look at me, say anything to me, or address me in any kind of way in a restroom. Obviously be aware of your surroundings and get out if you don't feel safe, but if you walk in and act like you belong there, you probably aren't going to have any problems.

[FTMDiaries]

I used the men's room for 8 months before I started T, and for a year before I passed at all. Naturally, I felt nervous the whole time - but I never had any problems. It does help if you ask a gender therapist for a 'carry letter', which is a letter that states you're undergoing transition and must be treated as male for all purposes. That can really boost your confidence, and you can also use it if challenged as proof of your right to be there.

When using the men's room, confidence is key. Just march in like it's the most natural thing in the world. Bear in mind that it's not just men who use the men's room: teenage boys use them too, and I daresay you could pass for a teenage boy if you wanted (and that's what you can tell people you are if you're challenged). Keep your eyes to yourself at all times and don't try to engage in conversation. If there's a queue for the stalls, whip out your phone and keep yourself occupied with it whilst you wait (this helps prevent people getting a proper look at your features & potentially clocking you). When you get to the stall you can either sit or 'hover' over the seat if that's more comfortable for you. Then just wash your hands and leave without any fuss. Also, pro tip: some guys use stalls to pee in, but don't lock the door behind them. Always nudge the door open slowly even if you think the stall is empty.

If you're unfamiliar with the layout of any particular men's room, the best thing to do is to just pop in quickly to wash your hands. That'll enable you to scope out the room to see what facilities are available; you can always come back for another visit when you feel ready. Some places have single-occupancy men's rooms (Starbucks are famous for this) where there is just one lockable room that only one customer can use at a time. That's a great place to start because you're less likely to encounter other guys whilst there. Then when you have more confidence you can work your way up to the multiple-occupancy ones.

As for the sound of peeing: guys who use stalls tend to pee in one of two ways - either they're utterly quiet, or they make a ton of noise like a waterfall. You can mimic the waterfall sound by angling your hips further back so the stream hits the water, but really most guys wouldn't dream of commenting on how another guy pees. The only sound you might want to think about is the sound made by the wrappings of sanitary products. There are ways around this of course (like removing the product from the wrapping at home and wrapping it in toilet paper instead). But again, there are older men who use the men's room, and some of them use incontinence products that sound (and look) a lot like sanitary products, so even that could potentially be OK.

[Tommi]

Born biologically male here, I've used men's rooms all my life.

There are unspoken "rules" in the men's room.  You basically try to stay as far away from the other guys in the bathroom, limit conversation, and mind your business.  Most men, will never talk to a stranger in the bathroom aside of necessity.  Most men want no contact while in the rest room, so if you go in, do your business and leave, most men won't look at you twice.

I've never, ever seen a bathroom without a stall.  Doors on the other hand, can be missing.  For some reason, some people think men don't want their privacy.  I know I'm not a male internally, but I HATE public bathrooms.. I always want to be as alone as possible to do my business!  Privacy people!  It's important!

Read through some of these results and you'll get a better idea of how to handle the men's room!

https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#newwindow=1&q=men%27s+bathroom+rules