Hey TechGirl!
I am Cristina and I am 27 years old and am genderqueer, genderfluid, and transgender (non-binary) and also am a sweet transvestite and a crossdresser for 10 years. What these words may fail to convey is that I was assigned male at birth, was socialized to be a boy and a man, but now I reject this limited societal definition of gender and opt for the more expansive term of "genderqueer" or "intergender", which for me is inclusive of attributes of men, women, and everything in-between.
TechGirl, I validate your gender identity as a transgender woman, and am in solidarity with you and your experience. I think it is so important that we accept each other for who we are and not get bogged down in the gender terminology. I say we are all part of one big human family and we need to support each other across the lines of social division such as sex, gender, race, class, sexuality, religion, etc.
In response to what you said about you not transitioning, I say that not all transgender people choose to or are able to transition medically or socially, and this does not make them any less transgender! For me, transgender is a state of mind, which is as much a product of our external experience as our internal biology, and whether one chooses to identify as transgender or to start hormone replacement therapy is a personal choice that I generally support. I think it is also perfectly acceptable to be unsure, questioning, or exploring these ideas, identities, and lifestyles.
Tomorrow I am going to start taking hormones to try and make my appearance more feminine, and while I do not wish to become a woman, which I see as just another box to be thrown into like boy/man/male, I do hope my body changes, i.e. by growing breasts and softer skin, and that my mind psychologically changes, i.e. growing in ability to experience emotional depth. I am not certain taking hormones will achieve this completely, though I suspect it will make me look and feel closer to how I would like to look and feel. After weighing the risks and the benefits, I am finally at peace with the uncertainty and willing to step forward and try something new in search of greater happiness it may bring. Is it okay to be uncertain? Certainly!
In case you or anyone else in this thread is interested, I wrote a gender zine for cisgender (non-transgender) folks to educate themselves with about transgender identity and transgender issues. Feel free to free read and distribute the zine, which can be accessed electronically for free here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hJ16OBapc6vs1i1wdsFNG9BgkXNm51VjrQAgXrx7YEQ/edit?usp=sharingHaving said all that, I wish you the best of luck in your life journey forward from here, and hope that you may find happiness and peace in all paths.
<3,
Tina
