Just What The Heck Is "Normal" Anyway?

[Tristyn]

I never understood what the term "normal" means in the societal context of the word. I mean, just what is it that dictates who is and is not "normal? Other than a PHD in psychology, what gives some one the authoritative right to declare you as having a mental illness such as depression or schizophrenia, for an example, saying that makes you an abnormality instead of a normality? Does being normal or ordinary mean that you are perfect without a single flaw nor blemish? What a boring person that would be!

And yet most people are expected to believe in God from the King James version of The Holy Bible, yes? But The Bible states that there was, is and will never be a perfect man other than Jesus Christ. Yet to be normal is expected out of all people. What a major contradiction this is! Truth be told there is no such thing as normal....Honestly, I believe the strive to be "normal" is the goal of those in government and in other positions of power to make the art of control much easier on their end. People who try to be "normal" are like sheep and the ones above them are the shepherd.

[Elis]

Since realising I was trans I've also realised there is no such thing as normal. Every human being is unique. We all fit somewhere on the gender spectrum. We all fit somewhere on the sexuality spectrum. We all have different brain chemistry that governs our moods and can cause various chemical imbalances. Even thin isn't normal. We all come in different body sizes which doesn't mean we're less unhealthy than a thin person.
Normal is a made up notion that the government or media dictates in order to male us feel special or included when we conform.

[itsApril]

If you think someone is normal, that just means you don't know him/her very well yet.

[Stevie]

 I think societies image of normal is conformity. I have never been "normal" and have no desire to be.

  " I never set out to be weird. It was always other people that called me weird"  Frank Zappa   

[Kylo]

I think what they mean in societal terms is just what is "socially acceptable". Whatever falls into the realm of things people are used to.

In scientific terms it is what falls in the category of the most statistically commonly found. So if some scientist were studying butterflies of a particular species and found there were way more red ones than blue ones, they'd come to the conclusion red was "normal" and blue was an anomaly or a rare variant. Or if they studied the behavior of the butterflies and 99% of them liked to sit in the sun in the morning 99% of the time, they'd conclude this was "normal" butterfly behavior.

In short, "normal" is just a word, not a truth. When it comes to mental "disorders", many disorders seem to be so common among people, I believe they've been labelled disorders only because 1) the science of psychology is still very new and has much to learn and 2) the idea of a 'normal person' is a fiction we're all led to believe exists.

[Tristyn]

I think what they mean in societal terms is just what is "socially acceptable". Whatever falls into the realm of things people are used to.

In scientific terms it is what falls in the category of the most statistically commonly found. So if some scientist were studying butterflies of a particular species and found there were way more red ones than blue ones, they'd come to the conclusion red was "normal" and blue was an anomaly or a rare variant. Or if they studied the behavior of the butterflies and 99% of them liked to sit in the sun in the morning 99% of the time, they'd conclude this was "normal" butterfly behavior.

In short, "normal" is just a word, not a truth. When it comes to mental "disorders", many disorders seem to be so common among people, I believe they've been labelled disorders only because 1) the science of psychology is still very new and has much to learn and 2) the idea of a 'normal person' is a fiction we're all led to believe exists.

This makes alot more sense than what I thought. I think what I said was more or so based around my paranoia that people are out to get me. Its not a very good way of thinking while trying to just exist at the same time. The way you described what normal really is puts me in a state of ease. 

But somewhere along the line people get to thinking that everyone should be/act/present themselves a certain way depending on what they were biologically born as. For instance, because I am a biologically black female, most people expect me to use a relaxer in my chemically straightened out hair along with weave braided into it. But I really just don't and I think some people get so taken back by my authentic appearance that they're wondering if they are interacting with the same person listed on my ID.

[BeverlyAnn]

Normal is a setting on the dryer.

[Peep]

The people that think they are 'normal' are the ones to worry about

[Kylo]

But somewhere along the line people get to thinking that everyone should be/act/present themselves a certain way depending on what they were biologically born as. For instance, because I am a biologically black female, most people expect me to use a relaxer in my chemically straightened out hair along with weave braided into it. But I really just don't and I think some people get so taken back by my authentic appearance that they're wondering if they are interacting with the same person listed on my ID.

You're right, rather than worry about the fact normal doesn't really exist, a lot of people are likely to expect a standard based on nothing but an assumption. Like male and female - most people could potentially immediately assume a hundred things about a person they've never even met just based on being told their gender.

Buying gifts for people is a good (and funny) example. How many times I've heard people say they don't know what gift to get a person they know (even though they should know them enough to know what they like!) and decide to get a gender-based gift. My boyfriend's parents are classic at this. I've had every cliche "female" present under the sun, when all they gotta do is... just ask me what I might want. Or give money instead. Assuming someone will like something because of their gender and because it's 'normal' for that gender to like something is silly from our perspective.

I had some interesting lessons in life about assuming. I only provisionally assume anything about a person these days.

[Hope springs]

Normal is a setting on the dryer.

Congrats... This phrase is the new cornerstone on my outlook on ->-bleeped-<-. Big e-hug for you.

[Tristyn]

You're right, rather than worry about the fact normal doesn't really exist, a lot of people are likely to expect a standard based on nothing but an assumption. Like male and female - most people could potentially immediately assume a hundred things about a person they've never even met just based on being told their gender.

Buying gifts for people is a good (and funny) example. How many times I've heard people say they don't know what gift to get a person they know (even though they should know them enough to know what they like!) and decide to get a gender-based gift. My boyfriend's parents are classic at this. I've had every cliche "female" present under the sun, when all they gotta do is... just ask me what I might want. Or give money instead. Assuming someone will like something because of their gender and because it's 'normal' for that gender to like something is silly from our perspective.

I had some interesting lessons in life about assuming. I only provisionally assume anything about a person these days.

Man, don't you hate it when you decline someone's gift because it was so gender-specific and then people turn around and make you out to be the bad guy? Its like gift-giving (or gift-forcing as I like to call it) is a way for people in our lives to convert you in their ideology of who and what they think we are.

My dad loooves to do that when his wife buys me those type of gifts out of no where. Even after I asked multiple times for my dad to tell her to stop. The most recent gift she bought was a female black leather jacket, even after the fact that I told her I am transgender. I guess she really didn't get it. After all, she told me that "Phoenix" was such a "pretty name" when I came out to her.

Normal is a setting on the dryer.

Aside from giving me the giggles, that would definitely make an awesome bumper sticker!^^

[Tysilio]

Normal is a setting on the dryer.

Ding! We have a winner!

[Kylo]

Man, don't you hate it when you decline someone's gift because it was so gender-specific and then people turn around and make you out to be the bad guy? Its like gift-giving (or gift-forcing as I like to call it) is a way for people in our lives to convert you in their ideology of who and what they think we are.

My dad loooves to do that when his wife buys me those type of gifts out of no where. Even after I asked multiple times for my dad to tell her to stop. The most recent gift she bought was a female black leather jacket, even after the fact that I told her I am transgender. I guess she really didn't get it. After all, she told me that "Phoenix" was such a "pretty name" when I came out to her.

Honestly I don't decline them, I just say thanks and... if it's useful in some way I might use it but some of that stuff is just so naw it goes straight to the charity store.

I figure when they see me next they'll either 'get it' and stop... or I'll just keep getting rose shaped soaps and glittery scarves forever. Or rather Hospice Care will.

[KoreyCabra]

I have a friend who has been my friend for many years. I do not have a lot of friends, probably can count them on my hand. We drifted apart for a long while and then we started talking again. Even before most of my other friends or family, this person was one of the first people I told I was trans. And they made out like it was simple to understand. But then over the next few months they would never use my pronouns. I would correct and it would kind of seem like I was being pushed off, no anger just awkwardness. Sometimes they would ask me like what do words mean like what is "nonbinary" or "cis" and I would tell them. But they would always say the same offensive things that uneducated people tend to "Why can't you just say normal?" or "They can just say you are a normalboy or a fakeboy/girl". And it pretty much destroyed me mental image of my friend. And we always have little scuffles like this and I hold my tongue as to not start an argument. But I legitimately do not want to speak to this person anymore and I'm tired of not fitting the mould of "normal" as they say it. I am me. You are [Insert Name Here].

[Tamika Olivia]

Normal is French for boring.

[Tristyn]

Honestly I don't decline them, I just say thanks and... if it's useful in some way I might use it but some of that stuff is just so naw it goes straight to the charity store.

I figure when they see me next they'll either 'get it' and stop... or I'll just keep getting rose shaped soaps and glittery scarves forever. Or rather Hospice Care will.

I wanted to do that for the gifts I did accept from her, my dad's wife, under the pressure to be "normal" in the past that hasn't been touched on since coming out last summer. But its kinda hard to get to places for donation when you don't have a car to drive you there or friends to do the same. I literally have no friends. That is a literal statement.

Last night I shot her a polite but brief text request to her cell to stop calling me by my assigned name and instead call me by my shortened, androgynous nickname. I asked her if she understood me and she said "understoond." I thanked her for understanding and she said "ok." I hope she really understood me and isn't just saying it. I guess the best thing I could do for myself right now is not to worry about it anymore and move on, right?

I have a friend who has been my friend for many years. I do not have a lot of friends, probably can count them on my hand. We drifted apart for a long while and then we started talking again. Even before most of my other friends or family, this person was one of the first people I told I was trans. And they made out like it was simple to understand. But then over the next few months they would never use my pronouns. I would correct and it would kind of seem like I was being pushed off, no anger just awkwardness. Sometimes they would ask me like what do words mean like what is "nonbinary" or "cis" and I would tell them. But they would always say the same offensive things that uneducated people tend to "Why can't you just say normal?" or "They can just say you are a normalboy or a fakeboy/girl". And it pretty much destroyed me mental image of my friend. And we always have little scuffles like this and I hold my tongue as to not start an argument. But I legitimately do not want to speak to this person anymore and I'm tired of not fitting the mould of "normal" as they say it. I am me. You are [Insert Name Here].

You're a better person than I am. I would have cut them off like a bad leg infected with gangrene. >.>

I already did this with a brother of mine. I thought we were inseparable for so many years until now. He just could never get on board with addressing me as male. As if he didn't take my transman status all that seriously. He just seems so indifferent to it. So I just stop talking to him; simple as that. Maybe this interpersonal exile between us will shake some sense in that big, shiny bald head of his.

Normal is French for boring.

Meh. It probably is....