What made you unhappy today? 7.0

[Midnightstar]

Dissociated from the world around me
even when i speak to myself i don't see the courage or person i used to be its like i fell and am just willingly sitting there not getting up because i don't feel anything.
I'm existing, but nothings there.
I've been like this for days and its just worse.

[Mariah]

I'm sorry your feeling that way right now. Maybe stepping back from what your doing right now and doing something else might help with that. Clearly something about what you have been or are doing is't working for you. It's resulting in the feel your having now. Hugs
Mariah

Dissociated from the world around me
even when i speak to myself i don't see the courage or person i used to be its like i fell and am just willingly sitting there not getting up because i don't feel anything.
I'm existing, but nothings there.
I've been like this for days and its just worse.

[Atom]

I have not seen my Dad for around 20 years.  Some parents do not deserve the love of their children.

Back on topic:

Ebay screwing payments up, but that's a minor irk comparatively.

[Eevee]

I try not to think of my parents because of how they treat me. Today is Father's day, so I can't get him off my mind. I'm already one massive panic attack into the day. 

[Roses and Songs]

I try not to think of my parents because of how they treat me. Today is Father's day, so I can't get him off my mind. I'm already one massive panic attack into the day. 

   Hello Eevee, I don't care about parents at all, but I would really like a friend to go out sometimes. Anyway, I see you talk about panic, if you feel like it send me a PM I would like to know how you deal with that.   Cheers, Rose.

[V M]

Father's Day tends to depress the stuff out of me    Think I'll just leave it at that though

[Laura_Squirrel]

Meh. I don't worry about that sort of stuff. As far as Father's Day is concerned: My dad and I haven't had any sort of real relationship for years now. Yeah, I may say 'hey' when I'm out at their house. But, it's pretty detached nowadays. It doesn't depress me, though. He pretty much screwed everything up with everyone in the family anyway. Oh, well. Life goes on.

[Kitty June]

Yeah, Father's Day is a depressing day. My ex has basically cut me off from my kids. Don't know what she says about me to them but I haven't talked with them in over a year. The fact that I lost my job and fell behind in child support doesn't help. Most depressing day of the year besides their birthday [emoji17]

[V M]

Broke my lil' pinky toe    So now it's a lil' purpley toe

[Cindy]

Broke my lil' pinky toe    So now it's a lil' purpley toe

What are you doing!!

I'm the one who threatens staff with breaking their bones!

[V M]

What are you doing!!

I'm the one who threatens staff with breaking their bones!

LOL... Leaned my garden tools against a chair and took my shoes off after working in the garden then snagged my toe on the bow rake on my way into the washroom 

[Cindy]

What are you doing!!

I'm the one who threatens staff with breaking their bones!

LOL... Leaned my garden tools against a chair and took my shoes off after working in the garden then snagged my toe on the bow rake on my way into the washroom 

Oh, we have all done that and it hurts a lot!

Ice packs!!

[Roses and Songs]

LOL... Leaned my garden tools against a chair and took my shoes off after working in the garden then snagged my toe on the bow rake on my way into the washroom 

   It is indeed strange how irresistibly attracted toes and garden tools are, just like lemon juice and eyes, fingers and closing car doors, bottoms and toilet seats, headaches and heads, etc...

                                                                                              Get well, Rose.

[WarGrowlmon1990]

Yeah, Father's Day is a depressing day. My ex has basically cut me off from my kids. Don't know what she says about me to them but I haven't talked with them in over a year. The fact that I lost my job and fell behind in child support doesn't help. Most depressing day of the year besides their birthday [emoji17]

I am so sorry that happened to you.    I can only imagine what the pain of not seeing my kids would be like. That is a fear of mine though. My partner's told me that he'd never take the kids away, but he also said he'd accept me only to turn around and misgender me and be passive-aggressive about me being trans, so I am pretty worried about what will happen as time goes by. Did your ex take your kids away only because you're trans? That's no reason to take somebody's children away from them. And not only is it harming you; Your children don't get to see you either and I'm sure that hurts them too. Have you been able to take her to court over this?  I hope that things work out for you and you do see them again. I've never understood why one parent intentionally tries to hurt the other by taking the kids like that.

[Kitty June]

I am so sorry that happened to you.    I can only imagine what the pain of not seeing my kids would be like. That is a fear of mine though. My partner's told me that he'd never take the kids away, but he also said he'd accept me only to turn around and misgender me and be passive-aggressive about me being trans, so I am pretty worried about what will happen as time goes by. Did your ex take your kids away only because you're trans? That's no reason to take somebody's children away from them. And not only is it harming you; Your children don't get to see you either and I'm sure that hurts them too. Have you been able to take her to court over this?  I hope that things work out for you and you do see them again. I've never understood why one parent intentionally tries to hurt the other by taking the kids like that.

I think the transgender issues kind of sealed the deal.
In February of 15 I lost my job that was keeping me barely in a home and still paying child support. I was also stupid and bought a car in the previous year. Suddenly no job and no income and I'm screwed. My partner has been trying and failing to get disability and I've been trying to support us.
So a few months go by of cashing in 401k and selling things to stay afloat.
So time goes by and eventually I get a job at ups. It's hard work, but they don't discriminate, so I do that for a while. Unfortunately, most of my pay goes to the child support and in still running out of cash.
So, by now I've fallen behind in car payments and I wake up one day to find my car is repossessed. Now I can't even get to work and I'm back to scrambling for something for work.
Basically, when I finally got a car and started working again, delivering pizza, I've fallen far behind in support and I'm being evicted.
I went to a support hearing and was told pay 4000 in arrears in one month or go to jail. I begged my ex to adjust the monthly amount, because I don't make the money I once did and to at least forgive the arrears or adjust it because of how life has been for me the past year.
Somehow, she felt seeing me go to jail was in the kids best interest. So I took what money I had and have moved far away where I get to start all over once again.
I think because I owe her money and am in no position to make myself available to the state right now, she can just shut me out.
I think being trans HAS freaked her out, but I believe she's using money as the justification of cutting me out of their lives.

Sorry for the book, but that's the brief version. I'm afraid she's going to poison them against me and they'll never know how I tried to contact them. They'll just think that I didn't care and will hate me.
It's going to take some time to get myself in a position to fight her. I only hope it's not too late by then.

[WarGrowlmon1990]

I think the transgender issues kind of sealed the deal.
In February of 15 I lost my job that was keeping me barely in a home and still paying child support. I was also stupid and bought a car in the previous year. Suddenly no job and no income and I'm screwed. My partner has been trying and failing to get disability and I've been trying to support us.
So a few months go by of cashing in 401k and selling things to stay afloat.
So time goes by and eventually I get a job at ups. It's hard work, but they don't discriminate, so I do that for a while. Unfortunately, most of my pay goes to the child support and in still running out of cash.
So, by now I've fallen behind in car payments and I wake up one day to find my car is repossessed. Now I can't even get to work and I'm back to scrambling for something for work.
Basically, when I finally got a car and started working again, delivering pizza, I've fallen far behind in support and I'm being evicted.
I went to a support hearing and was told pay 4000 in arrears in one month or go to jail. I begged my ex to adjust the monthly amount, because I don't make the money I once did and to at least forgive the arrears or adjust it because of how life has been for me the past year.
Somehow, she felt seeing me go to jail was in the kids best interest. So I took what money I had and have moved far away where I get to start all over once again.
I think because I owe her money and am in no position to make myself available to the state right now, she can just shut me out.
I think being trans HAS freaked her out, but I believe she's using money as the justification of cutting me out of their lives.

Sorry for the book, but that's the brief version. I'm afraid she's going to poison them against me and they'll never know how I tried to contact them. They'll just think that I didn't care and will hate me.
It's going to take some time to get myself in a position to fight her. I only hope it's not too late by then.

No need to apologize, Stevie. She sounds like a very transphobic person, cutting you out like that. What worries me about this situation is not only the torture she's putting you through... but if one of your kids ends up being trans too I hope she doesn't abuse them or just toss them out. What you're going through is hard, torturous in so many aspects. And I know this is probably easy for me to say but don't give up on your children. She could be trying to corrupt the way they see you, but maybe if they get to see for themselves how hard you're fighting, maybe they'll see through her. Then again I don't know how old your little ones are, or how much they've witnessed. Mine are only 1 and 2 and a half (and my step-child is seven, but I have no say in educating her on gender because of her mother...) so if my partner were to do this to me, my kids wouldn't know me and it'd be easier for them to believe him over me. None of this is your fault. I'm sorry for not being very helpful. I'm struggling with social anxiety and am not so good at giving advice. But when I see people go through injustices like this... it's beyond sickening. It's so enraging how we get punished simply for being trans...

[Atom]

I have a bomb load of studying to do as well as organise our move this week ( we only found out late Friday we had the keys).  Add to this a massive head cold and my motivation is rock bottom. Maybe tomorrow.

[big kim]

Cystitis

[mac1]

That thing between my legs is still there.

[FreyasRedemption]

Everything, really. My extended holiday is getting closer to the end, along with the summer, the only season that's worth living through where I live.
Given the circumstances, I officially don't have actual friends. Seeing my dad is becoming more difficult, since my mutual hatred with his wife is getting more active and visible.
Not to mention that my dysphoria has recently been a frequent visitor, and it just gets worse when I have something else to worry about beside it.