I tend to be on the periphery of life.
A better explanation for that would be I'm standoffish
I've always been the type to go off, and do my own thing. Perhaps I need to work harder to find friends, but its not easy living in the mountains. Sometimes I crave human interaction. Call me weird, but time to time I'll go to public places. The mall, if I'm in the city, or any nearby park. I'm an observer of people -not in a creepy way. I don't know, somehow I feel connected in a way hard to describe.
What made me sad today.
I was at my favorite park. It's in Post Falls, here in Idaho. I love that place, I soak up as much time as I can there, even if its snowing. My usual ritual is to bring some coffee, sit under the willow tree, and just zone into my surroundings. I didn't expect anyone to be there with me. I made my way to my favorite spot, and I saw a figure across from me sitting at the bench next to the little duck pond. An older gentleman, just sitting like I often do.
Privacy is something I respect, but I could tell the man was wiping away tears. I couldn't help but glance, and wonder. I wanted to give him a hug, as odd/awkward as that might have been. I turned my attention away for a few minutes. Going over internally my own feelings. Halfway through my coffee, I looked back where the old man had been sitting, but had gone.
The park was so quiet, or it seemed that way. I felt very alone. I was sad that I could have at least given him a smile, and missed that opportunity. I think he need that snowy park bench, and I left it at that. Still, it made me sad.
