What made you unhappy today? 7.0

[Angela49]

I was out to dinner with my wife ( we are separated but still get along) and she casually states how this Christmas is sucking because she has to worry about buying male items for one of her "daughters" (yes he is trans too) and female items for her husnand.
Thought I was done hurting her. Aperantly not.

[Roll]

I was out to dinner with my wife ( we are separated but still get along) and she casually states how this Christmas is sucking because she has to worry about buying male items for one of her "daughters" (yes he is trans too) and female items for her husnand.
Thought I was done hurting her. Aperantly not.

Don't take that on yourself, if she is complaining about her son as well that is all on her. (An ex-spouse being bitter and making a snide remark about their ex is one thing, and even if not healthy or good, is at least understandable. Saying it about their child is something else entirely.)

[Angela49]

I am pretty much over it now but last night was pretty tough.

[BT04]

My father's 17-year marriage to my terrible step mother is finally ending - first session with the mediator was today. So I'm happy about that. But wanting a divorce right before Chrismas, and all because you got a $400k inheritance that you don't have to share with your husband and you're mad that he couldn't find an investment for you in time to avoid capital gains? Excuse my censored language, but eat sh*t.

Something on the Jeep's block exploded today, sending coolant everywhere. My mechanic thinks its probably just a freeze plug since it doesn't seem to be mixing with the oil, and that it was running with filthy dex-cool through an even filthier radiator when I bought it 9 months ago, but we talked about replacing the engine anyway, just in case the head is busted. I was hoping to get tires for xmas, but I might be panhandling for engine money from Santa instead. I am NOT giving up on this. The Jeep is my baby. My second damn husband. I named him, I talk to him, and I can't imagine life without him. We'll get through this one way or the other.

Thirdly, the 'friends' who ran me out of the professional comic book business last year due to incompetence (rather than malice) still haven't paid me money that I'm owed, still haven't lived up to a number of stipulations from their own contract, and yet... they're still putting out Kickstarters and raking in the cash. They offered me my dream job once upon a time, and not only botched that but completely ruined our friendship all in one go. I'm never making art for somebody else like that ever again.

And lastly but not leastly, my gender questioning saga continues.

I just want the holidays to be over already.

Things are looking better. Was just in a bad spot. Husband had mumps too, of all things, but he's going to be feeling better for xmas. The Jeep is fine, turns out it was just a hose - I had my mech do a compression test anyways, and at 200k miles his engine is still perfectly healthy, woohoo.

The rest is going to be a lot easier to deal with now.

[big kim]

Scumbag twice tried to knock me off my bike

[Laurie]

Scumbag twice tried to knock me off my bike

Yes Kim that would make me mad also even though I am one of the motorists that is always losing road and roads space to you cyclists her in Portland, Oregon.  One of the most bicycle friendly places in the country. It doesn't mean I would go around trying to knock one off the road. I wouldn't even do it to one out in the countryside that doesn't want to share the road though I will admit it could be tempting.

hugs,
  Laurie

[V M]

Being broke and feeling lonely 

[Roll]

Ugh, had a short lived but fairly bad hit from pure dysphoria. I decided to put myself together and sit around full femme mode playing games. So I do my makeup and all that "fun" stuff. Fully dressed, i look in the mirror... and I just look bad. No beard shadow, but face just looked super, crazy wide and masculine looking. It was a huge start since I wasn't expecting it at all, normally makeup has a pretty solid feminizing effect on me. While I eventually calmed down and realized I must have accidentally botched my makeup in a way that contoured me in a negative manner and what I was seeing was a bit of illusion, unfortunately the damage was already done and I had went through the array of "oh god, it's was all a lie, I'll never pass" thoughts. Really put a damper on my evening. First time removing makeup ever made me feel better about myself, and I looked less masculine with the beard shadow showing somehow. Still not entirely sure what went wrong, I basically just did foundation/beard cover.

[Allison S]

Ugh, had a short lived but fairly bad hit from pure dysphoria. I decided to put myself together and sit around full femme mode playing games. So I do my makeup and all that "fun" stuff. Fully dressed, i look in the mirror... and I just look bad. No beard shadow, but face just looked super, crazy wide and masculine looking. It was a huge start since I wasn't expecting it at all, normally makeup has a pretty solid feminizing effect on me. While I eventually calmed down and realized I must have accidentally botched my makeup in a way that contoured me in a negative manner and what I was seeing was a bit of illusion, unfortunately the damage was already done and I had went through the array of "oh god, it's was all a lie, I'll never pass" thoughts. Really put a damper on my evening. First time removing makeup ever made me feel better about myself, and I looked less masculine with the beard shadow showing somehow. Still not entirely sure what went wrong, I basically just did foundation/beard cover.

That happens to me a lot too! Maybe it's just starting hrt it feels like taking a huge leap and feeling like I have to rely on makeup stresses me out so much. I think makeup should enhance features but to use it to cover or create an illusion makes me even more dysphoric.. that's been my experience at least

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[steph2.0]

Constantly misgendered today. Too much investment for negative returns. Feeling like it's not worth it.


- Steph

[Sno]

Cold callers (I suspect), who gave me a panic attack, as they called, number unknown, twice with a short gap between.

I panicked because my GP has finally decided to see how far in the basement my T level is, and I am waiting on the results of my blood tests.. 

This could lead to some 'interesting' conversations....


Rowan

[natalie.ashlyne]

Well since I am working through all the holidays till the new year I was going out dress like this with my room mate that has never been out in public with me as we park the car she says "I dont know I if can do this' I said what she said "every one looking "  so we left she was not happy leaving but I was obviously an embarrassment to here just as I have been forever Well this is what i looked like

[Megan.]

Constantly misgendered today. Too much investment for negative returns. Feeling like it's not worth it.


- Steph

If I said,  hand back your new IDs,  get back in your old drab clothes,  would you be happy? I reckon I know your answer... So it IS worth it, but sadly that doesn't mean others are going to make it easy for us. Live your life, and let others say or think what they want. X

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[Roll]

Well since I am working through all the holidays till the new year I was going out dress like this with my room mate that has never been out in public with me as we park the car she says "I dont know I if can do this' I said what she said "every one looking "  so we left she was not happy leaving but I was obviously an embarrassment to here just as I have been forever Well this is what i looked like

So sorry to hear that Natalie, just remember that is all on her not you! I doubt anyone would have even given you a second glance.

[Faith]

Well since I am working through all the holidays till the new year I was going out dress like this with my room mate that has never been out in public with me as we park the car she says "I dont know I if can do this' I said what she said "every one looking "  so we left she was not happy leaving but I was obviously an embarrassment to here just as I have been forever Well this is what i looked like

I would not be embarrassed at all, you look great. It's your room mate's insecurity and problem. I'm sorry you didn't get a pleasant day out.

[natalie.ashlyne]

Thank you both Roll and Faith I appreciate it, you both made me feel better

[Laurie]

Thank you both Roll and Faith I appreciate it, you both made me feel better

   My gosh What is wrong with your roommate. No one was staring except to see at least one good looking girl (you) but more than likely two. I'll bet she is used to getting those looks and liking them. It's only that she knows you are trans that set off her own transphobia and insecurities.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Sephirah]

Being broke and feeling lonely 

*extra big hug*

You're not alone, Virginia.

[DawnOday]

Just received my wife's Christmas present. Received a table top, no pedestal, no chairs. It's been in transit for a month. Online shopping, don't ya just love it.  All the pictures show a complete set w/4 chairs. Luckily I am able to cope now thanks to E. I called logistics and was very respectful. In my former form I would have cussed them out for half an hour. 

[Maddie86]

I'm thinking about quitting my band. We played a show tonight and the drummer was so off, in our first song he doubled the tempo during the 2nd verse and it totally threw me off so I couldn't sing, and the rest of the set he kept speeding up and slowing down too. I wasn't having any fun and I felt like I was going through the motions. I've been trying to think of someone who can replace him, I asked a friend of mine last week who is an amazing drummer but he doesn't have the time. Our bassist isn't really any good either, he's super sloppy. I'm writing songs that I really like and these guys aren't doing them any justice. And not many of my friends came out tonight either. I just feel like no one cares so why bother?