What made you unhappy today? 7.0

[natalie.ashlyne]

Well my best friend a girl that I have been seeing for 9 plus years, (she is married) Cried to me about my changes that she misses (MY NAME) she misses my voice the way I looked the way i was with here that she will Never be able to call me by my name or hear my voice again. I have explained to her that I am pretty much the same person but she is right. The problem is I really do love here so much and I know she loves me. She says she wants me to be happy and she said that her reasons where selfish, I so hate hurting her she said she cried because I went on a date she wished it could have been her I know that she does love me I know that she is grieving, I just feel so bad that I am hurting her like this again, years ago she asked me to be with her and I said no. At that time I did not think I was good enough for her and now I am hurting her again no matter what I do I hurt her. I know we just want the best for each other I have told her every plan I was making for my transition and let her be part of it I asked her if she wanted me to stop telling her and she said no that she would feel left out. I am just so confused and crying most of the night I dont know what to do. We both know that our relationship was not "right" as when we started we were both "taken" we just spent hours and hours at work together and it was like a magnet we attracted each other immediately and never let go. I told her that no matter what I want her as my best friend. 

[Sinead]

My work colleagues were talking about the gym and I made a Simpsons references 'gyme? What's a gyme? Oh, a gyme!' & no-one understood it and called me weird, which I am *shrugs shoulders*

[Christy Lee]

Pretty down on myself tonight

[Roll]

Irritated more than unhappy. Happened yesterday, completely petty and isn't a big deal, but OCD got ahold of it and now I can't let it go. This is completely worthless and I really shouldn't post it probably but venting is venting, little or big.

So yesterday, my step brother asked if I wanted to grab lunch. I was struck by the intense desire for chili cheese fries (one of my personal top foods of all time from childhood, which I don't dare make at home anymore because of portion control issues), so we went to literally the only place around here with chili cheese fries, Larry's subs. They aren't great, people like them, not really sure why, I think their sandwiches except for the Cuban are pretty bad(but I do love the Cuban). But yet they have really good chili cheese fries. So I get there, and look up and see the entire menu board is new. Completely rebuilt, looks really nice with like a natural wood bordering, easier to read, etc. I mention it to the guy behind the counter we kind of know from going there, and ask if its just a new board or if the menu has actually changed any. He said "Same menu. Oh, wait, no, we took one thing off I guess." I panicked and asked "It wasn't the Cuban was it?!". My step brother just looked at me like I was and idiot and pointed out the giant posters everywhere advertising one sandwich and one sandwich alone, the Cuban. So yeah. I was relieved. Hes done ordering, so I go up to the register to order and ask for the chili cheese fries. "Oh, we don't have those anymore." I was so taken by surprise for some reason I didn't even order the Cuban. I just sort of pouted, and went and sat down and ate nothing.

There are only a tiny handful of places here that aren't super expensive (whole summer home-tourist environment), with literally only like 4 fast food places on the entire island (two of which are burger king and mcdonalds which I can't stand). I don't get a lot of variety eating out. It's pretty much just Chick-Fil-A and Subway on an infinite time loop, with a pizza thrown in every other week if I don't get invited somewhere by my dad and step mom (who then pick up the tab). To have something taken out of the equation like that is just super disheartening, particularly since I now I have no outlet for one of my three big comfort foods (mac and cheese, pizza, chili cheese fries). So yeah. Irritated.

My work colleagues were talking about the gym and I made a Simpsons references 'gyme? What's a gyme? Oh, a gyme!' & no-one understood it and called me weird, which I am *shrugs shoulders*

They are just uncultured swine. Classic Simpsons references should be taught in schools.

[Sarah_P]

My work colleagues were talking about the gym and I made a Simpsons references 'gyme? What's a gyme? Oh, a gyme!' & no-one understood it and called me weird, which I am *shrugs shoulders*

I make obscure references all the time, and end up having to explain them. Mine are mostly Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes though (which also often sub-reference a multitude of other things). I should really stop trying to explain them.... Everyone already thinks knows I'm weird.

[big kim]

Can't shake this cold off

[Cassi]

Can't shake this cold off

There's a whiskey cure for the cold.

[Christy Lee]

I make obscure references all the time, and end up having to explain them. Mine are mostly Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes though (which also often sub-reference a multitude of other things). I should really stop trying to explain them.... Everyone already thinks knows I'm weird.

As a big Binge watcher
IM someone who likes to make obscure references to film or tv shows even video games, and usually no one get it

I also like characters more who do the same thing LOL Like Mack from Agents of Shield or Cisco from The Flash

[Roll]

As a big Binge watcher
IM someone who likes to make obscure references to film or tv shows even video games, and usually no one get it

I also like characters more who do the same thing LOL Like Mack from Agents of Shield or Cisco from The Flash

It is 99% of the dialogue in Psych, the greatest show of all time.

Anywho, this is actually going to be on topic!

I mentioned it in my thread for a second, but I just got invited to go get pizza. Where's the unhappy you ask? Well, I have royally sucked on my diet lately. I did so good today, only about 500 calories for lunch and it was well balanced. No snacking or splurging, nothin'. I was getting ready to put a frozen dinner in the microwave (portion control) when I was asked. I was happy, but now while waiting to go I am getting down on myself... What happened to my self control? I have lost so much weight, why for the past months can't I seem to get ahold of myself? I eat, and eat, and eat, and everytime I do right I immediately mess it up. And sure, i could order something light and lower calorie. But I know me. I'm not going to. I'm planning to, but the second I get there and I see that menu something is going to give. And there's no just one or two slices, once I eat it a bit, that's that, I eat it all. One whole pizza later I just want to curl up and die.

I'm getting very irritated with myself over it, all I want to do is get the weight off for the sake of my future, just like transitioning itself, but I keep sabotaging myself. (Not to mention devouring a whole pizza isn't exactly ladylike.)

[Cassi]

It is 99% of the dialogue in Psych, the greatest show of all time.

Anywho, this is actually going to be on topic!

I mentioned it in my thread for a second, but I just got invited to go get pizza. Where's the unhappy you ask? Well, I have royally sucked on my diet lately. I did so good today, only about 500 calories for lunch and it was well balanced. No snacking or splurging, nothin'. I was getting ready to put a frozen dinner in the microwave (portion control) when I was asked. I was happy, but now while waiting to go I am getting down on myself... What happened to my self control? I have lost so much weight, why for the past months can't I seem to get ahold of myself? I eat, and eat, and eat, and everytime I do right I immediately mess it up. And sure, i could order something light and lower calorie. But I know me. I'm not going to. I'm planning to, but the second I get there and I see that menu something is going to give. And there's no just one or two slices, once I eat it a bit, that's that, I eat it all. One whole pizza later I just want to curl up and die.

I'm getting very irritated with myself over it, all I want to do is get the weight off for the sake of my future, just like transitioning itself, but I keep sabotaging myself. (Not to mention devouring a whole pizza isn't exactly ladylike.)

You go Girl!  Then ride your super power generating exercise bike that powers your computer so you can tell us how great it was!

[Christy Lee]

It is 99% of the dialogue in Psych, the greatest show of all time.

Anywho, this is actually going to be on topic!

I mentioned it in my thread for a second, but I just got invited to go get pizza. Where's the unhappy you ask? Well, I have royally sucked on my diet lately. I did so good today, only about 500 calories for lunch and it was well balanced. No snacking or splurging, nothin'. I was getting ready to put a frozen dinner in the microwave (portion control) when I was asked. I was happy, but now while waiting to go I am getting down on myself... What happened to my self control? I have lost so much weight, why for the past months can't I seem to get ahold of myself? I eat, and eat, and eat, and everytime I do right I immediately mess it up. And sure, i could order something light and lower calorie. But I know me. I'm not going to. I'm planning to, but the second I get there and I see that menu something is going to give. And there's no just one or two slices, once I eat it a bit, that's that, I eat it all. One whole pizza later I just want to curl up and die.

I'm getting very irritated with myself over it, all I want to do is get the weight off for the sake of my future, just like transitioning itself, but I keep sabotaging myself. (Not to mention devouring a whole pizza isn't exactly ladylike.)

I've never seen Psych, not into procedurals ....... anyway

UMM i had Pizza last night, and also hot wings :s, i left 2 pieces of pizza tho does that count? LOL

I started thinking like that last night,  im big and i want to lose weight so i can have a bikini body, then i was like we'll you have to come out as trans first to use that bikini body, and then you have to stop eating stuff like Pizza and Chocolate Icecream or youll always be the same.... really started to spiral.. OMG it was horrible

[Sarah_P]

I mentioned it in my thread for a second, but I just got invited to go get pizza. Where's the unhappy you ask? Well, I have royally sucked on my diet lately. I did so good today, only about 500 calories for lunch and it was well balanced. No snacking or splurging, nothin'. I was getting ready to put a frozen dinner in the microwave (portion control) when I was asked. I was happy, but now while waiting to go I am getting down on myself... What happened to my self control? I have lost so much weight, why for the past months can't I seem to get ahold of myself? I eat, and eat, and eat, and everytime I do right I immediately mess it up. And sure, i could order something light and lower calorie. But I know me. I'm not going to. I'm planning to, but the second I get there and I see that menu something is going to give. And there's no just one or two slices, once I eat it a bit, that's that, I eat it all. One whole pizza later I just want to curl up and die.

I'm getting very irritated with myself over it, all I want to do is get the weight off for the sake of my future, just like transitioning itself, but I keep sabotaging myself. (Not to mention devouring a whole pizza isn't exactly ladylike.)

I know how it is. If the opportunity for food comes, I go crazy. Especially if it's free. Like today, I needed to clean snow off my car & start it up & drive a bit (it's snowy & cold), so I figured 'hey, why not pick up some mexican food?'. So I did. I could have gotten a smaller meal.... I didn't. Ugh... Now to exercise!

[Cassi]

I know how it is. If the opportunity for food comes, I go crazy. Especially if it's free. Like today, I needed to clean snow off my car & start it up & drive a bit (it's snowy & cold), so I figured 'hey, why not pick up some mexican food?'. So I did. I could have gotten a smaller meal.... I didn't. Ugh... Now to exercise!

Go for it Girl!

[Roll]

I just hate that I have no willpower when it comes to food. If I hermit myself away and no one gives me anything, I'm fine. I don't get actively hungry and go scrounging. But like just now, I got to the pizza place... somehow made myself order the salad(which, caesar so not exactly low cal, at least a lot lowER). Everyone else orders, and I just say at the end "oh, and can I get a slice of pepperoni?". At that point I'm still a little happy with myself. Just a slice, not too bad right? Well, turns out it was a massive slice that was at least 600 calories on its own if not more. And in fine form, I ate every bite. Oh, and it sucked. It sucked really bad, but I ate it anyway. That is the worst part, I didn't even enjoy it.

Another day's diet lost.

I've never seen Psych, not into procedurals ....... anyway

It's not really a procedural, it is pure comedy with absurdist mysteries. First episode is a little rough, way more serious tone than the rest of the series, but it is just a really great, charming show built on pop culture references. (Quick example: )

[Allison S]

I don't know if I feel female anymore. I definitely still don't feel male at all. I'm a bit sad I can't birth a baby. I remember it was something I loved watching on tv- people giving birth. My mother flipped out and made me change the channel when she caught me watching that show. I was a kid..

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[Kitty June]

Psych, the greatest show of all time.

This!! So true. Well, mostly


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[V M]

Trying to pretend I'm not depressed or contemplating

[big kim]

There's a whiskey cure for the cold.

Can't get on with whiskey despite having some Scots & Irish, tried it a few times though!

[Christy Lee]

Trying to pretend I'm not depressed or contemplating

*hugs*

Dont be depressed

[Laurie]

Trying to pretend I'm not depressed or contemplating

  Hi V.M.

  (((Hug))) That is a terrible state to be in but pretending isn't good either. You know I know something of how you feel. I'm here to talk to if it will help.

Hugs,
   Laurie