I mentioned in the happy thread I stopped and actually looked at women's clothes in Sam's Club, and that I was going to try again at Target. Well, I went over there, and I faltered. Faltered hard. I was surprised by the number of people there at that time of day on a Thursday, a group of employees were gathered around the dressing room entrance just talking... and I couldn't go through with it. I made a complete loop of the store, picked up some groceries to try to build my courage back up, then went back. Not many people around, so I looked at one or two things near the aisle, sort of mumbling to myself like I was trying to remember someone else's size. Got scared, and stopped. Went to men's section, grabbed a pair of jeans (believe it or not I own no jeans, period, male or otherwise) that were somewhat androgynous and a pink-ish generic t-shirt, but that's the most I could do. Unfortunately, the shirt doesn't look good on me color wise, and was more just a desperate attempt to salvage something mentally... I'm so mad at myself for not finding the courage, and just really sad because I honestly thought going over there I would be coming home with a pair of women's jeans at the least.
