What made you unhappy today? 7.0

[natalie.ashlyne]

I am having a crappy day no matter what I wear or do I Just feel ugly and fat  lonely I cant seem to do or say anything right every thing is going wrong today really hating myself trying to stay away from any mirror

[Allison S]

I am having a crappy day no matter what I wear or do I Just feel ugly and fat  lonely I cant seem to do or say anything right every thing is going wrong today really hating myself trying to stay away from any mirror

I get days like that too. Actually most days are and it's tough to the point I stopped going to work [emoji17] please hang in there. You are beautiful and cared about. Sorry if my response isn't worded in the best way but you're not alone [emoji173]

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[V M]

I have no running water in my apt. due to a leak in a water main and of course no-one will let me have a go at it even though I do have experience in such repairs

I guess I'll just have to sit tight and get a bit ripe while I hope someone in mgmnt will get it figured     

[Gertrude]

Took a mental health day yesterday. I work in IT and part of my job is ensuring computers are in compliance. We have a professor or two that are under the impression that the computers they use are theirs and the university's and don't want us touching them. So, he needed and upgrade to office due to a dual factor authentication upgrade and wouldn't let me put management software on the computer so as to install it. So he buys office on his own, which is out of compliance. Now he wants to migrate email from Apple Mail. My boss won't tell him that he has to conform as he brings in grant money and likes to make a stink about it when he needs to get his way. For me, I don't like enforcing policies unfairly. So some don't have to follow the rules because the don't want to. Why have policies? This ahole would probably be the first one to rail against white male privilege, but loves exercising his own privilege when it suits him. So I took a day off. After that, I'm not enforcing anything anymore. I don't get paid enough to be duplicitous and I despise unfairness. So I needed a day away from being a civil Servant.


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[Megan.]

Took a mental health day yesterday. I work in IT and part of my job is ensuring computers are in compliance. We have a professor or two that are under the impression that the computers they use are theirs and the university's and don't want us touching them. So, he needed and upgrade to office due to a dual factor authentication upgrade and wouldn't let me put management software on the computer so as to install it. So he buys office on his own, which is out of compliance. Now he wants to migrate email from Apple Mail. My boss won't tell him that he has to conform as he brings in grant money and likes to make a stink about it when he needs to get his way. For me, I don't like enforcing policies unfairly. So some don't have to follow the rules because the don't want to. Why have policies? This ahole would probably be the first one to rail against white male privilege, but loves exercising his own privilege when it suits him. So I took a day off. After that, I'm not enforcing anything anymore. I don't get paid enough to be duplicitous and I despise unfairness. So I needed a day away from being a civil Servant.


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Hugs hun. I took a couple of those last year (for the first time ever).
You did the right thing, our mental health is very important. X

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[natalie.ashlyne]

I get days like that too. Actually most days are and it's tough to the point I stopped going to work [emoji17] please hang in there. You are beautiful and cared about. Sorry if my response isn't worded in the best way but you're not alone [emoji173]

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Thank you Allison it cheered me up to read this today and what you said makes sense . Last night I just ended up crying my self to sleep. I am feeling a bit better  today.

[V M]

The water was turned back on for the time being over the weekend but I can still hear the leak spraying so I imagine it will be turned off again to make another attempt to fix it so I'm filling anything and everything that will hold water to make ready

[MollyPants]

My new dresses got lost in the post which was rather annoying and it was just generally a miserable day on Sunday. I actually stayed round a friend's in Saturday night and I can remember now why I don't see them often. One guy is just so desperate to be macho and incrediblely rude and undermining to everyone.

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[TicTac]

Loneliness made me unhappy today, but then again it makes me unhappy everyday. The fact that millions of people died today, yesterday, and tomorrow is also depressing me. I am unhappy that the dress I bought did not look as cool as I thought it would, but it is such a minor thing that it does not matter....at all.

[Allison S]

Loneliness made me unhappy today, but then again it makes me unhappy everyday. The fact that millions of people died today, yesterday, and tomorrow is also depressing me. I am unhappy that the dress I bought did not look as cool as I thought it would, but it is such a minor thing that it does not matter....at all.

I'm sorry you feel that way. I know what that's like (feeling lonely). I opened up in my support group and that helped me a lot. I was already making friends with members in the group and they were inviting me to go places, but it was nice to have them their in person.
I get upset when a dress doesn't look right or the way I envision. So I completely understand that

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[big kim]

Loneliness made me unhappy today, but then again it makes me unhappy everyday. Me too, 13 years since i was in a relationship. 10 years since I had a 2nd date with someone.

[Sarah_P]

F-ing hackerbots hit our website *3* flipping times just today. Every time I'd get half way through cleaning up, they'd hit again. I wish I knew how they do it, but I'm not allowed full access. Sigh...
I think I've got it cleared out, for now.

Hey, don't you hacker types have anything better to do? Why don't you go pick on the Russians or something.

[BrandiYYC]

Being called sir 3 times on the same call when calling tech support for my cellphone today. I corrected him each time, sigh. Nothing a peanut butter cookie dough blizzard from dairy queen couldn't fix though

[TicTac]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I know what that's like (feeling lonely). I opened up in my support group and that helped me a lot. I was already making friends with members in the group and they were inviting me to go places, but it was nice to have them their in person.
I get upset when a dress doesn't look right or the way I envision. So I completely understand that

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Having a support group must be nice. I have thought about joining one, but my social anxiety makes it difficult to talk to people, but it is great that you found new friends. The only way I could make a friend is if they approached me in an attempt to start a conversation. Unfortunately I come off a bit  standoffish so people tend to keep their distance. It may never happen for me and I have been trying to accept that fact but it still hurts.

[TicTac]

Loneliness made me unhappy today, but then again it makes me unhappy everyday. Me too, 13 years since i was in a relationship. 10 years since I had a 2nd date with someone.

I am sorry Kim  Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. I hope you will find someone someday that will make you happy.

[LaRell]

I am extremely unhappy, because my wife whom I love and care about very much and has been my greatest support in my transition, suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, and is very narcissistic but is in extreme denial about it and often projects her own behaviors onto me as if I am the one doing to her exactly that which she is doing to me.  It is extremely messed up. And she will go from absolutely loving and adoring me one day and telling me she would not survive losing me......but then the very next day something will happen, and she does a complete 180, and will absolutely destroy me verbally.  This fight we are currently in has been going on for 3 days now.  The first day, part of her insults flung at me, is that she told me she is going to stop correctly gendering me and is going to start calling me "He and Him" and going to stop refering to me as her wife now.  Which is tremendously hurtful that she would use that against me just because she is upset.
   Then yesterday, she told me "I am sick of looking like a freak show when we are out in public together!  And I'm sick and tired of having to explain to people why our family looks the way it does!."  Just absolutely cutting me to the bone!!!  It's so sad, because everyone thinks she is such an amazing support to me, and at times it feels like she really is because she always encourages me to go out as myself, and buys me cute clothes that she suggests I wear and holds my hand and kisses me in public and things.  But then to stand there and tell me that she is tired of looking like a freak show when she's out in public with me??  That was by far the most hurtful thing she has ever said to me throughout our entire relationship.   So today....she wanted me to meet her and our daughter for lunch......I have been presenting mostly full time for the past month, but I could not bring myself to put my wig and makeup on like I've been doing every day, and I showed up as a man.  Which then of course I was in huge trouble for because "Didn't you stop to think how that might confuse our daughter???"  I absolutely cannot win with this woman. Everything I do is wrong when she's upset.  It is because of her BPD and narcissism.  It causes her to perceive things that are not real.  It causes her to fear abandonment to such an extreme, that she does things that would cause me to abandon her as a test to see if I really do or not.  It is severely twisted and only those who live or have lived with someone with BPD could fully understand what I deal with on a daily basis.

[V M]

Close call while riding my bike    This girl was texting and driving and nearly ran me over    Luckily I was able to swerve and avoid getting flattened but I had to push myself away from the car, I think I might have dented the door a bit

Anyway, I yelled "Pay attention!!!" and it startled her enough to stop - She started to say something but I just rode away because I knew I'd blow up at her otherwise

[TicTac]

Close call while riding my bike    This girl was texting and driving and nearly ran me over    Luckily I was able to swerve and avoid getting flattened but I had to push myself away from the car, I think I might have dented the door a bit

Anyway, I yelled "Pay attention!!!" and it startled her enough to stop - She started to say something but I just rode away because I knew I'd blow up at her otherwise

I am so sorry that happened to you. That sounds like a scary situation to be in. Glad you are safe!

[Charlie Nicki]

I am extremely unhappy, because my wife whom I love and care about very much and has been my greatest support in my transition, suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, and is very narcissistic but is in extreme denial about it and often projects her own behaviors onto me as if I am the one doing to her exactly that which she is doing to me.  It is extremely messed up. And she will go from absolutely loving and adoring me one day and telling me she would not survive losing me......but then the very next day something will happen, and she does a complete 180, and will absolutely destroy me verbally.  This fight we are currently in has been going on for 3 days now.  The first day, part of her insults flung at me, is that she told me she is going to stop correctly gendering me and is going to start calling me "He and Him" and going to stop refering to me as her wife now.  Which is tremendously hurtful that she would use that against me just because she is upset.
   Then yesterday, she told me "I am sick of looking like a freak show when we are out in public together!  And I'm sick and tired of having to explain to people why our family looks the way it does!."  Just absolutely cutting me to the bone!!!  It's so sad, because everyone thinks she is such an amazing support to me, and at times it feels like she really is because she always encourages me to go out as myself, and buys me cute clothes that she suggests I wear and holds my hand and kisses me in public and things.  But then to stand there and tell me that she is tired of looking like a freak show when she's out in public with me??  That was by far the most hurtful thing she has ever said to me throughout our entire relationship.   So today....she wanted me to meet her and our daughter for lunch......I have been presenting mostly full time for the past month, but I could not bring myself to put my wig and makeup on like I've been doing every day, and I showed up as a man.  Which then of course I was in huge trouble for because "Didn't you stop to think how that might confuse our daughter???"  I absolutely cannot win with this woman. Everything I do is wrong when she's upset.  It is because of her BPD and narcissism.  It causes her to perceive things that are not real.  It causes her to fear abandonment to such an extreme, that she does things that would cause me to abandon her as a test to see if I really do or not.  It is severely twisted and only those who live or have lived with someone with BPD could fully understand what I deal with on a daily basis.

I'm very sorry for this. I was to post about something that made me sad but it honestly looks so silly in comparison to your issue. Sending you big hugs from the other side of the screen! is she going to therapy or a psychiatrist? It might help her.

[Roll]

Unhappy... maybe not the right word. But definitely a bit put off and irritated. My step-brother has an mtf trans cousin who is fully presenting female. I mentioned it was sort of a strange coincidence that Facebook kept recommending her as a friend first on the list based off just being mutual with my step brother and step sister when other people who I had more mutuals with were much further down the list. Thought it as interesting is all. But talking about it, he just constantly dead named her and used wrong pronouns. Not maliciously, he has some, lets just say socialization issues that play into that sort of thing, making him sort of actively oblivious (comes across as inconsiderate sometimes, but its a lack of consideration born from his own issues and not that he is a jerk at all). It bothered me though, but I wasn't really sure how to address it with him so I just sort of kept pointedly using the right name/pronouns hoping he'd take the hint. (He did not.)

This then played in with some other stuff that I shouldn't get fully into here, so will leave it at that. Might bring it up my thread once I organize my thoughts about it.