I went to my first black tie dinner last night with a load of barristers and students who want to be barristers. I spent most of the day getting ready, my hair blown dry, nails done etc.
I'm having a great time, and this woman comes over to say that she wondered if she could do some work experience with me. I say of course, we start chatting and she's saying a few weird things almost like in code. About a minute in she comes out and says "I mean you were born a boy weren't you". I was devastated. I thought I was passing 100% these days and suddenly I'm having reassess how I view myself. Maybe the lack of issues from people is that people who I meet are cool with me being trans, rather than as I thought it which was people who I meet not realising that I am trans.
I asked her what it was about me that made her realise, and she basically was like "well, you can just tell" I tried to push her as I wanted to know if there was anything that I could do about it "oh no, theres nothing you can do about it, that'd be like me becoming Chinese, it cant be changed. You're trans, be happy how you are"
Now putting aside the absolute rudeness of her even saying it (which all my friends are fixating on, but thats not what bothers me), I'm now just so self critical. I've posted below my photos of last night. I think maybe my hair being pinned back was a mistake as I always wear in down and the whole thing made me realise that FFS is more needed than I maybe thought. I mean I knew that I wanted it, but this has really set me back emotionally and confidence wise no end.
