Dress code violating my gender identity

[Cute Ida]

      Can't remember if I posted this situation on here at some point before or not. My workplace is now forcing its employees to wear vests as part of the dress code. I can comply with 99 percent of the dress code. The vest is something that I cannot wear. It violates my gender identity and femininity. As far as I am concerned any and all vests are too masculine. To me it's wrong to force a woman to wear men's clothing. The moment I wear that vest I will cease to be a woman. Other women don't object to the vest but I have to. They've been conditioned to accept it and to allow they're femininity to be taken from them. I cannot allow mine to be destroyed. The vest is not a new thing. I had this issue a year ago.


I brought my therapist in on it and he wrote a letter to the general manager and Human Resources. After receiving the letter and talking with HR and me filling out an accommodation request I was not forced to wear the vest. However, last night at work the overnight managers told us of the forcing of the vest. I went to HR this morning. She suggested I wear the vest because it doesn't violate the other women's gender. HR doesn't understand where I'm coming from but will talk to general manager. I will have my therapist write a new letter and I will go back to the MN Department of Human Rights and have them re-open the case I started a year ago. I had them cancel the injunction because Walmart gave me an accommodation and stopped pressuring me to wear it. I've been there two years.


Now they are back at it again and they are trying to say that the accommodation isn't reasonable. I think it is. If it violates who you are as a person you should have some recourse. It might help for you to know that I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at the age of 17 and now I'm 32 soon to be 33. We Aspies as we call ourselves have a very high level of integrity. We often have a rigid sense of right and wrong and of justice. This is known as black and white thinking. We cannot violate our principles or who we are.


I am a model employee, hardworking, fast stockperson, took all the other changes with a grain of salt but this is one I can't do. The moment I put on the vest I am no longer a woman. If forced to wear the vest I will become suicidal. I put this in the original accommodation request. I am just trying to save my life by removing the stressor that is causing me to be suicidal. I haven't been that way in a year but now they are trying to take away my femininity and my gender identity again.  A friend of mine suggested that I inform the newspapers and media about this attack on my gender at some point. For all of you that say "just wear the vest" that is just something that I cannot do. I will go down fighting this tooth and claw. Any advice would be welcome and thanks in advance.

[Devlyn]

Big hug! I admire your adherence to your own principles, but legally I think there are issues. It sounds like the vest in this case would fit these definitions:

a garment worn on the upper part of the body for a particular purpose or activity.

a special piece of clothing that you wear on your upper body for protection or safety.

a sleeveless garment, often having buttons down the front, worn usually over a shirt or blouse and sometimes as part of a three-piece suit.

Probably not what you want to hear, I know. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[WaterGirl]

Pick your battles, I say. It's a vest. As long as all the other women  have to, I fail to see a big deal.


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[KarynMcD]

Women wear vests all the time.
Do you object to women in pants?

[Dee Marshall]

I understand your concern even though I don't share it. They are unbelievably accepting of us as a corporation. I also work at Walmart and they have the most liberal dress code of any company I've ever seen. Any associate can wear any approved clothing, even skirts. The vest is the only good identifier they have for customers to recognize associates. Even the managers in my store have recently been required to wear them. That being said, I've seen associates in my store wearing Walmart logo polo shirts. Would they and you find that a reasonable accommodation?

[Emily Rose]

I know that most people here are in the us, so the same may not apply here. But there are a few questions you can ask, and I presume it is a high visibility vest.

1) why do you have to wear them, if it is so you can easily be seen by vehicles for instance in a loading area, can in not just be worn in that area. In these circumstances, PPE is given out but most place in Europe can't enforce that you wear it, but if you do have an incident and fail to use, the company can not be help liable

2) why are you being told you have to wear it. Has some incident occurred or is it just managers being over zealous and just trying to avoid things happening?

[Devlyn]

I've also thought of something else. It is not particularly useful to fight for the support of gender specific clothing items. If we, as a society could rid ourselves of this concept, we would be free to wear whatever we want. Just something to think about. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Stevie]

 Would they allow you to make alterations to the vest? If you have it gathered at the waist it will look more feminine.

[AbbyKat]

      As far as I am concerned any and all vests are too masculine. To me it's wrong to force a woman to wear men's clothing. The moment I wear that vest I will cease to be a woman.

I wouldn't view this as forcing a "woman to wear men's clothing" but more like "forcing women and men to wear vests".  Maybe it would help if you try to think of it that way, realizing you and your coworkers are all in the same boat, having to wear a vest I assume none of you want to wear.

I honestly never made the connection between vests and gender as I see both wear them all the time unlike ties or skirts.  I get where you are coming from (I have my limits on what I would feel comfortable wearing, too) but, in this case, the rules seem to be applied equally.  They should treat you as they should (a woman) and they seem to be treating you like a woman who works there. 

I'm super curious though, has your therapist said anything like this or do they agree that it is wrong to ask this of you. 

I wish you the best of luck finding a good comfort zone.

[Deborah]

If the dress code applies to all women then you are going to lose this fight.  All you are doing is making yourself visible to management as a trouble maker.  It is within the company's rights to establish a dress code that applies equally to all. 

The only way you have any possibility of winning this is if all the women objected as a group.  Even then, since it is only a vest, I think your chances are slim.


Sapere Aude

[Dee Marshall]

If it's Walmart as she implied the dress code applies regardless of gender or level in the store. My store manager wears the vest, as do all of his co-managers, most of whom are women. The vest exists only to identify us as store associates to customers. It's a logoed tacky blue and I don't know anyone who's actually fond of it short of Sam Walton and he's dead.

[itsApril]

Hmmm.  In a civil rights sense, there are two federal laws that might be involved here, Title VII of the Civil Rights Act (which prohibits discrimination on the basis of gender or sex), and the Americans with Disabilities Act ("ADA," which prohibits discrimination against persons with disabilities and also requires an employer to make a reasonable accommodation to make it possible for a qualified employee with a disability to do the job).

Honestly, you can forget about Title VII here.  Men and women aren't being treated any different.  Moreover, none of the other women object to the vests.  This isn't sex or gender discrimination.

ADA on the other hand might give you something to work with.  In order to make the case work, you will have to establish that your gender issues constitute a "disability" within the meaning of the law.  You may be able to get a therapist or psychiatrist to back you up on this with a diagnosis of some recognized medical condition.  (Gender dysphoria?  Gender Identity Disorder?  Something like that.)

If you can show that wearing the vest triggers gender-related stress or anxiety that interferes with your ability to perform the duties of your position, ADA may require the employer to make a reasonable accommodation.  You have to make request to the employer for a reasonable accommodation.  (Sounds like you have already done this.)

What you would like is for the employer to excuse you from wearing the vest.  But it's not that simple.  The employer is not necessarily required to give you the accommodation that YOU prefer.  ADA only requires the employer to make "a" reasonable accommodation.  Often, the employer ends up with final say over what accommodation is reasonable.

Once you have requested reasonable accommodation, the employer is required to engage in an "interactive process" of discussion with you to determine whether you need an accommodation, and if so, what accommodation is appropriate.

Here's a thought.  (Don't know whether this would be realistic in your case?)  A large facility like a megastore might have enough of a receiving/back stockroom operation that it would be possible to reassign you to work entirely in the stockroom - without direct customer contact.  In that case, the employer could excuse you from wearing the vest without compromising its own policy about uniform appearance of employees on on the sales floor.  Would that work?

What I've written above is based on US federal law, which applies to people in all 50 states.  You may also have similar protections (or even greater protections) under Minnesota law.

[Katiepie]

My workplace had removed our vests from the dress code standard and policy. The reasoning was that women in the workplace had used the vest as a rather slight buffer for any blouse that they were wearing in which would be out of any regulations.

I know kinda where you are coming from in the statement of a dress code standard issues, as I had issues with dress code myself, and after reading the code of conduct and associate handbook on things, and bringing up logical points, I was then able to go by the female standards rather than male standards. Most of if not all workplaces that have a vest considers the vests they place for uniformity consist of unisex styles in which would not classify any gender to the standards, but in any case they resemble more of a male figure when decidedly working with unisex uniforms.
In any case of adherence to dress code, if maybe you could invest into a more feminine style work vest (being something that looks similar to the uniform, but not from the official uniform) and claim it under the possibility to work with you as well as work with your company might be a possible solution.

Kate <3

[itsApril]

I honestly never made the connection between vests and gender as I see both wear them all the time unlike ties or skirts.  I get where you are coming from (I have my limits on what I would feel comfortable wearing, too) but, in this case, the rules seem to be applied equally.  They should treat you as they should (a woman) and they seem to be treating you like a woman who works there.

I'm like Abysha.  I have several vests I sometimes wear, and it never even occurred to me that they weren't women's clothing.  I just went over to the Amazon website and searched for "vests" under women's clothing, and it returned 8,428 hits.  Women's vests of every kind and description.

But that doesn't help Cute Ida.  I may not share her view that vests are inappropriate clothing for a woman, but I don't doubt the sincerity or depth of her belief that they are inappropriate.  This is where disability law might be useful.  In many mental or emotional conditions, a person may have beliefs that aren't shared by others.  But the law may still require an employer to accommodate the employee if the conditions are right.

[itsApril]

In any case of adherence to dress code, if maybe you could invest into a more feminine style work vest (being something that looks similar to the uniform, but not from the official uniform) and claim it under the possibility to work with you as well as work with your company might be a possible solution.

Good thinking, Katiepie!  So here's a plan for Cute Ida:  Go on over to the Amazon website and look through the women's vests.  There are a ton of them, and I guarantee you that there are a lot of them that are feminine enough that no man would ever be caught dead wearing them.  Pick out one you like and that is available in the same color the store uses.  Tell management you will get the vest and put the company's logo on it.  Then you'll be wearing a plainly feminine vest, in the company's colors, with the company's logo.  You will have achieved the company's goal of marking you as an employee on the sales floor, but preserved your identity.  Would that work?

[Wild Flower]

A job is a job. Money is money. Equality is equality.

The women in the military dress just the same as men. And they are still very womanly.

[stephaniec]

so if you were a cop would you tell the department to stick it even though it's was worn to save your life.

[Harley Quinn]

The women in the military dress just the same as men. And they are still very womanly.

The military isn't exactly the best example. Although the Utility uniform (less the maternity uniform) and PT uniform is the same, that's where the similarities end. Dress uniforms are totally different. Some head gear is totally different, and grooming standards are different so as to afford women the opportunity to look stunning in their dress uniforms. The military also offers variants on their standard uniforms to comply with religious beliefs.

[kaitylynn]

Same thought as the others, it is just a vest which tend to be unisex by their nature.  A woman or a man in a vest is just that.  You will simply be another woman in a vest.

[Wild Flower]

The military isn't exactly the best example. Although the Utility uniform (less the maternity uniform) and PT uniform is the same, that's where the similarities end. Dress uniforms are totally different. Some head gear is totally different, and grooming standards are different so as to afford women the opportunity to look stunning in their dress uniforms. The military also offers variants on their standard uniforms to comply with religious beliefs.

You wear a dress uniform on average 1 out every 70-200 days. The combat/pt uniform is the average. Females in the civilian have way more liberties with hair/grooming than women in thr military.

A vest is not even in comparison.