Got called "sir" today while looking like this. Are we all doomed?

[Ms Grace]

I mean seriously, if I can't get a Miss or a Madam dressed this way who can?? (kidding)



It was while I was buying lunch from a salad bar, the woman hands back my change and said "thank you, sir". I was a bit stunned, it took me a few seconds to put my brain into gear, but then I asked her "did you just call me 'sir'?" She apologised and said she had done it by accident, I just kept looking at her with an "are you serious?" look - she squirmed a bit more and she apologised a few more times. I shook my head and walked away.

I guess I should have a better sense of humour about this sort of thing and be should have been more gracious and accepted her apology but it really made me feel lousy and angry. I actually felt I looked pretty decent and getting called "sir", accidental or otherwise, was a massive kick in the guts.

Oh well, tomorrow's another day... I'm not going to let it get to me, just needed to vent.

[Laura_Squirrel]

There's a lot of dumb people in this world. I'm not shocked by anything that comes out of the mouths of morons these days.

[Keri]

Had to be a total accident!
💜💜💜

[Cindy]

Sounds like a serious case of eye disease.

[Jessie Ann]

Yes, we are.  Especially those of us who are tall like you and me.  I still get sir'd every now and then from people who are not paying attention.  I just respond the way you did, "really did you just call me sir??"  Once they actually look they are usually embarassed.

[Mariah]

Sorry that it happened Grace. It does sounds like a total accident. In certainly makes you wonder what they were thinking when they made the mistake. Hugs
Mariah

[Cindy]

Well I can attest to the fact that you are a tall, slim, feminine, good looking woman, and anyone mistaking you for a guy is just dumb, made a mistake or didn't know who they were addressing.

[Martine A.]

If it is any consolidation, that happens to me regularly. Pic in the avatar.

Outside work, when they address me, it is usually slips after we have had conversation ~mind my voice~ but is unintentional. At work, I am known as that trans person. Got to say, I still work on correcting people nicely. And some are defiant.

That woman apologized to you and that counts a lot. Recently I shared experience about somebody who apologizes too, but not really:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,202749.msg1804009.html#msg1804009

[HappyMoni]

You look fantastic! No way this is anything other than a person NOT paying attention.

Moni

[stephaniec]

That would never happen in the US

[AbbyKat]

The ONLY thing I can think of is if she had something else on her mind or had been serving several males in a row and she was just on a roll.  I've done things like that (when you misname somebody because you have been talking to the person the name belongs to right before that).

Judging by your picture, there is no reason to "sir" you.  And the fact she apologized for it tells you it wasn't even a case of her clocking you and being a jerk.  No... I'm pretty sure she would have said "sir" right then no matter who she was talking to.

[archlord]

You looked great It really Must have Been an accident.

I however seriously havent experienced this in a complete  month full time . I dont know how I would feel / react

[Nicole]

You were called "sir" by an uneducated bigot - simple as that

[stephaniec]

I mean seriously, if I can't get a Miss or a Madam dressed this way who can?? (kidding)



It was while I was buying lunch from a salad bar, the woman hands back my change and said "thank you, sir". I was a bit stunned, it took me a few seconds to put my brain into gear, but then I asked her "did you just call me 'sir'?" She apologised and said she had done it by accident, I just kept looking at her with an "are you serious?" look - she squirmed a bit more and she apologised a few more times. I shook my head and walked away.

I guess I should have a better sense of humour about this sort of thing and be should have been more gracious and accepted her apology but it really made me feel lousy and angry. I actually felt I looked pretty decent and getting called "sir", accidental or otherwise, was a massive kick in the guts.

Oh well, tomorrow's another day... I'm not going to let it get to me, just needed to vent.

Looking good Ms. Grace

[rosinstraya]

I find that most sir-ing that I get these days is at food outlets. It may be based on my voice (still a work in progress) or just sheer stupidity. Some may be bigoted.

It is depressing, but it's more an indicator of their dumbarsedness than how you look. And, of course, you look terrific! 

[Wild Flower]

You're for sure female. Innocent mistake.

I was called ma'am on accident, and I had short cut hair, masculine clothing, no hormones... She didnt correct herself, but if I was called ma'am people make mistakes at times.

But I was shorter than her.... I think thats why.

[Arch]

I think that people in service industries get harried and go on autopilot, not seeing much more than broad outlines, like a silhouette. Someone tall is male. Someone short is female. And then they look...oops.

My trans buddy is a bit under five feet and has had trouble with misgendering. I guess he's a little androgynous, but I honestly can't see it...and if a person isn't sure, avoiding both "sir" and "ma'am" is a good option. I think my friend's height is the deciding factor when people aren't looking closely.

[V M]

It's really difficult for me to imagine anyone ever misgendering you Ms Grace, you're so pretty

Unfortunately it does happen sometimes

My guess is that they weren't really paying attention

Hugs

[100miles]

That's pretty bad

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk

[abd789]

How about when someone seems very nice, then after I speak they instantly change and make sure they give me a heavy SIR.... like were you really that dumb? I surely dont think Im fooling anyone