How did you wife/girlfriend react when she found out that you are a woman?

[Adchop]

I worry how my wife will react to my decision. She has a higher sex drive than me (She's the one usually begging for sex, which makes me feel awful when I can't perform), & she's very prudish. I've tried kinky things with her, & even floated the idea of attraction to other women. She has always been very up front that she isn't interested in any of it, so I'm curious how crazy she will react when I transition & she realizes she is actually married to a woman, not a man. She caught me looking at nude transgender women online when we first got married and I thought that at instance that my marriage was going to end. She cried and asked me why I was interested in transgender women, which I lied and just told her curiosity.

I'd like to hear your stories. I'm curious how many marriages were ruined, or made stronger by your transition.


Thanks ladies!

Dana

[rikki88]

My fiancé accepted it at first when I told her. We didn't talk much about it for 2 years. Then 2 months ago something in my head just snapped and I couldn't go on being a guy. I told her I was seeking help. I went to a transgender clinic and I received my prescription.  She freaked out but after a week of her telling me that she wants me to go thru with the treatment because she needs me to be happy we are now stronger than ever. I truly am one of the lucky ones that found someone so accepting and loved me so much that she will stand behind me on this journey together. She still wants to marry me no matter what.

[Adchop]

My fiancé accepted it at first when I told her. We didn't talk much about it for 2 years. Then 2 months ago something in my head just snapped and I couldn't go on being a guy. I told her I was seeking help. I went to a transgender clinic and I received my prescription.  She freaked out but after a week of her telling me that she wants me to go thru with the treatment because she needs me to be happy we are now stronger than ever. I truly am one of the lucky ones that found someone so accepting and loved me so much that she will stand behind me on this journey together. She still wants to marry me no matter what.

That sounds sweet. I'm happy that she is so accepting of you.

I love my wife, but not in the intimate way that we did when we first got together. I sometimes feel that we are just good friends who have shared a lot of experiences, & share the same bed.

I'm curious if transitioning to a woman's body changes the relationship dynamic with your wife/gf? Are you both more intimate than before? Cuddling, Kissing, hugging?

My wife seems to care less about all the intimate stuff. I could easily pleasure her without any real effort, which most men would find attractive. I found it boring and lost interest. There was no real buildup or intimacy. Before marrying, the girlfriends that I fooled around with always felt best when we were most intimate. Not just raw straightforward sex. Knowing the person on a deeper level makes me more attracted to them, which I always found that odd about myself. I guess I always knew that deep down I'm a woman at heart, considering from what I have read most women in general prefer intimacy the most.

[rikki88]

That sounds sweet. I'm happy that she is so accepting of you.

I love my wife, but not in the intimate way that we did when we first got together. I sometimes feel that we are just good friends who have shared a lot of experiences, & share the same bed.

I'm curious if transitioning to a woman's body changes the relationship dynamic with your wife/gf? Are you both more intimate than before? Cuddling, Kissing, hugging?

My wife seems to care less about all the intimate stuff. I could easily pleasure her without any real effort, which most men would find attractive. I found it boring and lost interest. There was no real buildup or intimacy. Before marrying, the girlfriends that I fooled around with always felt best when we were most intimate. Not just raw straightforward sex. Knowing the person on a deeper level makes me more attracted to them, which I always found that odd about myself. I guess I always knew that deep down I'm a woman at heart, considering from what I have read most women in general prefer intimacy the most.

Thank you. We do cuddle more and kissing seems deeper. But I wouldn't say we are more or less than before having our intimate sessions. They have changed tho. I can't really explain how they have changed but it is for the better. I am lucky to have a fiancé that is so accepting.

[archlord]

bad but open-minded  .    Result : pain and we broke

[Adchop]

bad but open-minded  .    Result : pain and we broke

Do you think it was for the best? If it's ok that I ask, what eventually caused the split? She couldn't handle being with another woman?

Like I said before, I love my wife, but I feel like maybe I love her in a deeper friendship sort of way. I think we have both known for years that we weren't meant for one another, but we stuck it out because we believed thats what good marriages do.

Thanks for replying!

Love the profile pic by the way. Hopefully I can be as passable as you someday

[archlord]

Do you think it was for the best?

It was the hardest moment of my life, hardest part of transition.  I was a cute men, many girls were hitting on me but i didnt have any relationship until 23 year old. It didnt seem right to me... like something was off but i knew i wasnt gay so... i did wait until i found someone i truly loved.

I moved to her place, changed city and left my job for her and for a whole month my whole dysphoria was gone. I was blinded by love.  After a like 4-5 weeks, we started to have some conflict like any couple but for me it was different.  Each time we had a conflict, i was feeling very bad and those girly feelings i had when i was young were taking more place every time. 

Finding the true love for me was the last copping/exploring male side step.  Now after finding her,  i had no more barrier to protect me from those feelings.  Every time it wasnt going as expected or that i wasnt getting enough affection i was getting invaded more and MORE by those feelings  until  the jaleousy of other womans arrived.  I was at work , checking and analysing all womans like : hmm she has nice butt,  hmm wishing i had her hairs wow,  hmm she has to large shouders ..  i was thinking of this all day long and imagining myself of how i would look like if i did transition. However when i arrived back home, i was with her and those feelings were dissapearing.  I needed to be with her, without her i was nothing.

We had a big conflict, ( she was a jaleous woman and she was immagining i was/would do things with other womans)   and i decided it was time to leave her and find whatever reason not to tell about my woman feelings inside.  I wanted to just leave, resume heavy gym workouts and go to army like i planned before her, to continue coping.  It didnt go as i expected and she asked me to tell her what was so worrying me.   I did told her about the woman inside me, that it was here for years and that i was fighting it.  I told her that i was truly loving her and i would do anything to stay with her.   We decided to keep living together and i told her that if one day i feel like those feelings wont go away, i promise you that i will tell you and not ruin your life. ( she was clear , she didnt want to live with another woman).

So i had the support from my girlfriend.... well until she figured i was a lost case.  She was getting distanced of me more and more and when she was doing that, the only way for me to survive was to get deeper in those transition feelings.  One day it reached another degree,  i was now JALEOUS of HER.. this is the moment i knew i wouldnt be able to fight longer.  I was jaleous of her when we were shopping and she was trying clothes ( i was good at giving advices lol) , i was jaleous of her doing her hairs, her makeup..  i was jaleous of her body  it was killing me  ... until it reached AGAIN another degree where i was jaleous of her when we had sex.  I was asking her to be on top , i was closing my eyes and imagining i had a vagina and i was getting penetrated.



This is the moment i knew i really had to transition and even with all the love i had for her it wouldnt be enough. I remember telling my girlfriend that i would never have any other girlfriend as a men.  I knew that the same thing would happen with all woman because... I AM THE WOMAN.. i want to live as one and to be given exactly what i was giving in a relationship.


EDIT:
**Over this period, i did lost 25 pounds of muscle ( no more gym) , i did grow my hair, i shaved my legs, i even have grown my nails..  For me, i needed to do something extra girly to compensate like.. if i was getting my drug dose.  My girlfriend told me she was getting less attracted to me and that i wasnt like when she met me. ( she was right)  She asked me to cut my hairs but i didnt want.. i had the deep impression that i would end by transitionning
**

It was very hard and i still often think of her but i promised myself one thing when we broke :

I WOULD NEVER get in any relationship before i am happy  and in love with myself.  I need to have/find my own happiness and not base it on someone/something .

I realised 4 month after that it was for the best yes.. But when you are heartbreak you are blind.

[Adchop]

It was the hardest moment of my life, hardest part of transition.  I was a cute men many girls were hitting on me but i didnt have any relationship until 23 year old. It didnt seem right to me... like something was off but i knew i wasnt gay so... i did wait until i found someone i truly loved.

I moved to her place, changed city and left my job for her and for a whole month my whole dysphoria was gone. I was blinded by love.  After a couple weeks, we started to have some conflict like any couple but for me it was different.  Each time we had a conflict, i was feeling very bad and those girly feelings i had when i was young were taking more place every time. 

Finding the true love for me was the last copping step.  Now after finding her,  i had no more barrier to protect me from those feelings.  Every time it wasnt going as expected or that i wasnt getting enough affection i was getting invaded more and MORE by those feelings  until  the jaleousy of other womans arrived.  I was at work , checking and analysing all womans like : hmm she has nice butt,  hmm wishing i had her hairs wow,  hmm she has to large shouders ..  i was thinking of this all day long and imagining myself of how i would look like if i did transition. However when i arrived back home, i was with her and those feelings were dissapearing.  I needed to be with her, without her i was nothing.

We had a big conflict, ( she was a jaleous woman and she was immagining i was/would do things with other womans)   and i decided it was time to leave her and find whatever reason not to tell about my woman feelings inside.  I wanted to just leave, resume heavy gym workouts and go to army like i planned to continue coping.  It didnt go as i expected and she asked me to tell her what was so worrying me.   I did told her about the woman inside me, that it was here for years and that i was fighting it.  I told her that i was truly loving her and i would do anything to stay with her.   We decided to keep living together and i told her that if one day i feel like those feelings wont go away, i promise you that i will tell you and not ruin your life. ( she was clear , she didnt want to live with another woman).

So i had the support from my girlfriend.... well until she figured i was a lost case.  She was getting distanced of me more and more and when she was doing that, the only way for me to survive was to get deeper in those transition feelings.  One day it reached another degree,  i was now JALEOUS of HER.. this is the moment i knew i wouldnt be able to fight longer.  I was jaleous of her when we were shopping and she was trying clothes ( i was good at giving advices lol) , i was jaleous of her doing her hairs, her makeup..  i was jaleous of her body  it was killing me  ... until it reached AGAIN another degree where i was jaleous of her when we had sex.  I was asking her to be on top , i was closing my eyes and imagining i had a vagina and i was getting penetrated.

This is the moment i knew i really had to transition and even with all the love i had for her it wouldnt be enough. I remember telling my girlfriend that i would never have any other girlfriend as a men.  I knew that the same thing would happen with all woman because... I AM THE WOMAN.. i want to live as one and to be given exactly what i was giving in a relationship.

It was very hard and i still often think of her but i promised myself one thing when we broke :

I WOULD NEVER get in any relationship before i am happy  and in love with myself.  I need to have/find my own happiness and not base it on someone/something .

I realised 4 month after that it was for the best yes.. But when you are heartbreak you are blind.

Thanks for replying.

I've found myself with some of the same feelings over the years. My wife has always been extremely jealous, which I think is heightened by our lack of sexual interaction. When we would have sex, I remember trying and struggling to envision myself as the submissive/passive sexual partner that was being penetrated. I guess it's vagina envy. Either way, it does make it hard to carry on as the "male" in the relationship.

I'm thinking I might could physically pass as a male on hrt, but I will never be able to turn off the feminine emotions I feel on the inside, which means I will never be able to fully be the person my wife wants me to be.

[Emileeeee]

Mine was relieved. I had been very withdrawn trying to choose between her or me, so withdrawn in fact that she thought I must be in love with someone else. Once I told her the truth and she realized that was the reason for the withdraw, everything was fine.

[Naomi71]

I have an ex, but we're quite close because we're coparenting. Last summer I had a date with a guy and after he left I was out of cigarettes and coffee for the next morning, so I went to the nightshop. She lives just around the corner and coincidentally was in that shop as well. I had quickly removed my mascara and eyeliner but did so very sloppily, so she instantly saw it (she sees everything) and told me. I could have lied about it, but instead explained to her I started transitioning.

She was quite positive about it and finally understood the reason our relationship went wrong. I was at some point unable to still have sex with her, she felt that as her partner, I wasn't protective enough of her, had often called me a "little ->-bleeped-<-got" and "not a real man", finally understood why I took a neighbour under my wings who was having a lot of problems because he had Klinefelter (self identified male, so I'm not misgendering), she always thought I was being "over compassionate" with him.

There was a lot of stuff she finally understood and got to terms with.

[AmandaDanielle]

I honestly believed my marriage was going to end. I had gotten distant and closed off. My wife thought it was her and until then I lead her to believe it was to camflauge myself.

One night everything reached a breaking point and I had the choice... either tell her my secret and gear the end of or marriage or let my marriage end to preserve my secret. Everything was looking bleak for me and the words in my throat just about choked me when I tried to release them.

She sat there and listened as I laid out my entire life, my feelings, emotions, wants and desires. At the time I thought I was nothing more than a crossdresser, but I bared all to her. Only omitting my desperate desire to one day be a woman.

After I had finished telling her just about everything she sat back in her chair and the room grew silent. It felt like an eternity as I could hear the clock cogs turning and clicking. She then looked at me in the eyes and said, "that's all it is?" She was fine with my dressing from that point on, she even enjoyed it at times.

Some time later I was comfortable enough to mention my desire to be a woman, and she was not cool with that at all. She did not want to lose her husband for anything. Dressing was ok, however this was not. I became really self consumed. Awkwardness descended  on our relationship and I went back and forth with purging and supressing that side of me. I am not sure what really happened next but the clouds parted once again. Either she realized I truly wasn't happy as a man or she had an epiphany of her own but she started to warm up to me again. We went through a pretty long amount of time when she didn't want anything to do with my female self. Finally, she started to encourage me again and support what i needed to do. Everyone says give it time, and I did. She eventually came around.

Now she has mourned my male counterpart and is excited to be with my true self. I really don't know what got her to that stage and perspective, I am just thankful she did. I can't figure out who is more excited for the changes that I have seen being on hrt, her or I!

It's been a rollercoaster to become my true self and unfortunatly at times it has taken both of us to get there. I wouldn't be where I am currently without the love and support of my wife. It wasn't always that way... it just took time. Patience is not my strong suite!!!

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