Is having racial preference racism?

[Eevee]

I think it depends, and how you word it matters here. If you are just more attracted to people of one racial appearance over another to the point where it would influence your choice, then there's really no problem. If you state "I only date _" or "I don't date _" then yes, you are being racist. Of course being attracted to others is a really big deal when dating them, but don't cut out an entire demographic before you even consider them as an option.

[Tristyn]

If you state "I only date _" or "I don't date _" then yes, you are being racist. Of course being attracted to others is a really big deal when dating them, but don't cut out an entire demographic before you even consider them as an option.

Not only is that racist, but pretty childish if you ask me. Though, I must admit, I have been guilty of being this way before.

[Elsa Delyth]

Yes, definitely racist, not complicated at all. When someone says something like they have a preference for blondes, they mean all things being equal, they'd prefer the blonde. Not that all that matters is that they're blonde, or that blondeness is the most attractive feature, and nothing else matters. Even Labrador Retrievers  rev them up. Having a preference for blondes is hardly going to be a deal breaker to the athletic, kind, intelligent dark haired individual that shares interests and core values with you.

To show a preference, like an orientation so that you know a priori that you will have no romantic interests in people of certain races, is pretty damn transparently racist.

Sociological surveys have also been taken, which showed there are strong correlations between "racial sexual preferences", and general racist attitudes.

If your preference for particular races is a huge deal, far more important than something like hair colour, and you see as being more analogous to exclusive sexual orientations, then I think that's one red ass flag you've got there. 

[Sebby Michelango]

Yes, definitely racist, not complicated at all. When someone says something like they have a preference for blondes, they mean all things being equal, they'd prefer the blonde. Not that all that matters is that they're blonde, or that blondeness is the most attractive feature, and nothing else matters. Even Labrador Retrievers  rev them up. Having a preference for blondes is hardly going to be a deal breaker to the athletic, kind, intelligent dark haired individual that shares interests and core values with you.

To show a preference, like an orientation so that you know a priori that you will have no romantic interests in people of certain races, is pretty damn transparently racist.

Sociological surveys have also been taken, which showed there are strong correlations between "racial sexual preferences", and general racist attitudes.

If your preference for particular races is a huge deal, far more important than something like hair colour, and you see as being more analogous to exclusive sexual orientations, then I think that's one red ass flag you've got there.

This is how it works for me: if I could choose people by appearance who I would date and put in my bed, I would probably choose a person from the Caucasoid race as my first choose, because I prefer one with a European appearance. I want every people to have equal rights, opportunities and human rights. Everybody are equal valuable. A person can be good in a job and the color doesn't matter. But a persons appearance matter if it comes to dating and who are allowed to join the bed. People from all countries can be nice and cheerful people with good personality. There are attractive people from difference places. But if I had a choose, I would pick something as my first choose. I prefer some options more than other options. For me it's important a person is attractive if I'm going to date him. Dating a person I don't prefer or think is so attractive isn't the same... I just think some are more attractive than other. I can't really help it I prefer Caucasoid generally more than Eastern Asian and Southern African.

[Kylo]

It seems, at least in my experience, that black people have harmed me more than any other race.

It is unfair to project that caution onto everyone but it's also not really surprising if the most harm you ever encountered was often or always from a specific group of people. It'd be almost instinctive to view them negatively with repeated bad encounters.

And dude, I hope you got as far away from that neighborhood as you possibly can. It was scary to me to have the old house I stayed in broken into one time, but two or three times a year? You say that like it was to be expected. I hope those guys got reported. That's ridiculous. The way I see it, burglaries would be greatly reduced, if not diminished, if jobs were available to everyone and I mean everyone, including us trans folks, who sometimes have a hard time getting a foot in the door of employment. And no, this does not, in any way, justify burglary.

Oh yea, I did. I won't be going back there. And it was to be expected I guess, since the area was thick with junkies and small time criminals on and off of parole. Funny thing was it didn't look like a bad neighborhood; but it was probably worse than the ones that did. And you're right, that city was famously screwed and full of poverty and crime precisely because it didn't have a lot of opportunities going in it at the time. It was a bit of a Northern hell hole for a while.

[Colleen M]

Over the long run, relationships are built on any number of more serious things, but a certain level of attraction really should be there.  Gravitating toward somebody who lights your fire is not unreasonable IMO.  When you say "preference" this is the level I believe we're talking about.   

Having said that, somebody who says, "I could never date an X!  What would the neighbors think?" probably is a racist.  We could have Jeff Foxworthy start "You might be a racist if..." games, but a simple preference isn't really racism in my experience.   

[Karen6-10inheels]

Of course not. We all have attraction. There are some that try to lay a guilt trip on for example white girls by some guys if they don't date them. I have heard it with my own ears. We have freedom of choice in our lives. Don't be a victim or pressured by someone else because of their attraction or conquest motives.
This referring to your dating preference.

[steyraug96]

I'm probably a bit biased, as I believe there is a "tribal" nature to humanity. We're basically not too far removed from packs of animals (flocks, in most cases, actually, but some of us are more K-selected.)
In all of recorded history, we're a drop in the bucket. Seems humanity as a whole isn't much better, if we go to "unrecorded" history.
Some of those programs on National Geographic or such, talking geological time scales?

That's the scope I mean. We haven't been around much, and haven't changed much, if at all.

How many here are "jocks"? "Rockers"? "Skaters," "Slackers," "Engineers," "IT," etc? And we go after those NOT in our group to a greater or lesser extent. E.G., as an IT guy I DESPISE the "Business" people who want to squeeze us until we bleed, while they pretend to work all day, playing with reports and meetings...  Talking the "Bottom line" without any regard for the stuff we have to work AROUND, mostly - because their great "money saving idea" only LOOKS good. E.G., outsource the tech support (all the infrastructure) to India. What used to take 15 minutes to get done, with ONE person in the US? Now takes three tickets, five people, and 3-5 WEEKS. But it's "cheaper"!! Except our throughput is now down by 75%. We're not effective.
DEV is bad enough - they throw their program over the wall, and we have to pick it apart and tell them what's wrong. They don't like us. But at least they respond....

Going to Macro scale? Male vs. Female. American vs. French vs. Russian (or, use the country names, same diff. for this).  Keynesian vs. Austrian economics. IBM vs. Dell vs Oracle (different fields, of course.)

"If you're not with us, you're with the Ter'rists!" might be over simplistic - but if we borrow from George Carlin...? "Think of the Average American (human, even!) Think how DUMB that person is! Now, realize - HALF the population is DUMBER than that!" And he didn't even include the mob mentality, which is - the Mob is about half as smart as the dumbest member. Herd mentality at its finest, if you will.

So...  there is LIKELY to be a racial preference built-in to humans, to ensure a cohesive tribe.

But that doesn't mean we're attracted to everyone equally, and attraction I don't think can be a racist thing. If I like blondes but not brunettes, am I a Hairist?
If my girlfriend suddenly dyed her hair brown, would I break up with her? Seriously, how shallow can you get?
(I'm also sure it's happened, see George Carlin again.) 

However, attractiveness can also come from being Exotic. Think a Western man in Poland or Ukraine; or a Russian woman in America. Or an Indian woman, for that matter. Something has to happen to make a woman stand out, to me. Whether I notice her breasts or eyes first is irrelevant... 
That's the initial attraction. Physical rush.
But will there be anything there? Well, is she kind? Genteel? Feminine? These things aren't defined by her race. Met plenty of hot white girls I wouldn't (censored) with someone else's (censored), you know? Arrogant, brash, aggressive, entitled, nasty. I'd rather beat them with a stick. Been around plenty of other ethnicities, too, and found both types...  Good and bad, feminine and masculine.  It's not a Racial thing, nor is it racist, even if you exclusively like whites, blacks, Inuit...

Racist means you pre-judge someone based on their skin color. Somehow, people think it's a BAD thing to judge...
How many of you been through the 'hood? Felt the naked hatred in the stares you encounter? Sesame Street it ain't. But I'll drop that line of talk...

You can't choose your tribe or family by blood. You can choose who you associate with, though. If someone has excessively harsh pre-judgement, especially because "they heard...", you might want to look elsewhere for friends and companions. If you don't have that option, you might want to guard that their views don't infect you, as "memes" are like a virus. (Goebbels, "if you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth...") You want to be honest and fair in your dealings, but also not a fool. That guy coming at you with a scowl, he might not mean you harm - but why take the chance? Cross the street, see if he follows, looking for trouble. The woman shooting daggers at you with her eyes? She's saying something, though a man might not get it... He'd better watch both his and his woman's backs, just in case. Etc.

Personally, I was raised to NOT be racist.
I learned the hard way to respect biodiversity. I still give people a chance, but I'm somewhat selective based on my environment. Greater or lesser chances, if you will. No different from a woman taking her friends to the ladies' room - she's safer among others, than alone, in the "old days." Same as you don't go down that dark alley at night, because it's a "bad area." You stay where there's light...

I don't think that's racist in the least - because anyone can be good, or bad, and race is small part of that.

-Dianna

[jenifer356]

We all have preferences.  Whether it be a racial preference for a partner or a color preference in our food choices.  To me it all comes to one word - MALICE.  I have a preference for carrots over lima beans but I bear no malice towards the poor little bean.  I just don't want them on my plate.  I was born and grew up in a totally Caucasian community yet by the time I was going to high school my best friends were predominantly everything but white.  Yet my dating preference was and still remains lighter shades of skin color (white and Asian).  In many ways political correctness and overstepped the bounds of reason and has made people way too sensitive.  Is it profiling if police are only stopping green martians with purple dots after a green martian with purple dots is seen breaking into a power plant?  Of course it is but in this case it is a "good" profiling.  We all use descriptive words and phrases to help identify things.   It helps us to understand each other.  Most times it is not racism to have preferences or to use descriptive terms as long as there is no intent to harm or to be derogatory.

I will now relinquish my soapbox for others to opine on the matter

be well
jenifer

[cindianna_jones]

At the core, it is racist. Yes, I'll say it. Racism comes from the gut according to the "norms" in which we were reared. It is a concept taught and too easily received. The very same reactions apply to religions and family nationalities. All of us have a teeny bit of racist tendencies in us at best. It's part of growing up in society. It's our responsibility, especially as part of a minority, to realize that these prejudices exist.

So... where does that leave us? I don't know. I suppose we should at least understand our biases and make sure they don't get passed on to the next generation by any fault of our own.

I have dated men from all around the world. I worked in the Bay Area and there was no shortage of men. It wasn't their race that was difficult for me to deal with but their native cultures. It wasn't that I couldn't appreciate those cultures. I just couldn't adopt them as my own.

Lately, I've decided that I'm a lesbian after all. So, I shall actively not look in the men pool. Is that discrimination? I don't know. As far as race goes, it is not a factor. I'm more interested in someone that shares my values and is closer to my age than anything. Oh... and clean. I like clean. Good looks is a bonus but not necessary.

[Jestwacked]

I don't think it is racist at all, everyone has their preferences