breathe..just breathe, these things take time, good coaching?

[mickey.megan]

so I'm seeing a psychologist who deals in many areas including transgender issues. She has diagnosed me as being transgender after 6 sessions. But I feel like progress getting to how to move forward is stalled. I want a golden ticket and there is none. She describes it as wanting a magic wand, where there is none.

My situation is complex so its slow, but I'm frustrated, I wish she would help me or coach me in how to talk to my partner and make them understand that I AM transgender and this IS NOT a lie or a fad, or me "acting weird"

should I expect this sort of help, or is it as she says, this is a process that I have to slowly work through?

[Devlyn]

I have a lot of questions, I tried seeing a counselor, that didn't work, so looking for a new one that I can see in stealth.

what I'm wondering is I've been male my entire life...and during this time, I have been on anti-depressants, and anxiety medicine for a lot of it. every time quitting it because I got tired of the "fog" of it.  my entire life is FULL of *signs* and *examples* that in my mind with out a doubt someone would say...wow you are transgender. AND I dream of being taken by a man as a woman... I also dream of being with women as a woman(all the time), and I get aroused by lesbian scenes, not because of the sex, but because I imagine I'm one of the woman.

*sigh*

I didn't figure this out till about 3 years ago... and kept this revelation/secret in a deep hole. and now it eats at me.  Now that I know...I can't go back.

I truly believe I'm a female in a male body.

BUT....I'm scared to DEATH of what the reactions will be and the chaos I Will cause if I come out. I'm sure my partner won't tolerate it at all, they are anti-transgender. At least when it comes to me.  I tested the water by telling my sister (my partner does not know I told her) and my sister was cool with it, unconditional love there for sure. Yet I'm SURE my brothers will be like "WTF is wrong with you, see a psychologist" and I'm sure my partner will say "get the @#%# out, why did you ruin my life and waste the last X years?" In fact I'm sure of both of those, happening, which means, if I come out to any of the people close to me, I will be exiled... I will be on my own. And there WILL be pain, and expenses, and splitting the stuff, and more.

So I'm stuck..be a good man and stuck...or be real, and literally burn everything I have built to the ground. I just don't know if it is worth it. Yet I see all the beautiful people who have had the courage to come out and be genuine, and I ask my self "why can't I be like these people?" and the voice in my head says back "because your situation is different" and then my mind says "is it really?" and so on and so forth. Ugggg....

I would literally give all I have to be able to come out AND not hurt anyone and be accepted, but as my partner would say "you are in fantasy land"

so I listen to "let it snow" and "firework" and it makes me feel good, but sad.

would it be crazy to come out in January? the holidays are over... maybe that's the time to just do this if I'm going to do it. Spring will be after that and things will eventually heal.

I can't think of any reason why a non transgender person would be able to come to terms with this any quicker than we do. You're going to have to give it time.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Laura_7]

Here are some resources that could help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,204392.msg1817184.html#msg1817184

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,202945.msg1817610.html#msg1817610

And maybe its possible your partner accompanies you to the therapist once or twice ... so they could help explain...

hugs