Shifting Dysphoria?

[thorhugs]

For the longest time my dysphoria has manifested in a case of the "why bother"s. Indifference and apathy everywhere. As of late, it's been shifting more towards irritability and outright discomfort. That part I understand. I'm getting more and more comfortable presenting as male, so anything that takes me back a step has a negative impact.

However, it's shifting in other ways too. Even if I didn't always know it, it's always been focused above the waist. Anything bottom related was mostly "meh." No interest in even getting a packer because, well, "meh."

But lately, that's changed in a way I never really expected. It started with this constant feeling, like maybe my fly was down. But when it didn't let up I wondered if maybe it was because I've been losing weight and things aren't as snug as they used to be. Which maybe that's still part of it to some extent, but it's too low for it to even be the lower part of my tummy. Just this ever-present feeling of "there should be something here."

I didn't expect things to shift like that until I was at least on T, which is still at least a few months away for me. But has anyone else had things shift on them, especially suddenly?

[Kylo]

I haven't, but I have heard that once you go on hormones, feelings of dysphoria about body parts you never used to care that much about can intensify. So I'm expecting it.

[Elis]

I've actually found I'm less dysphoric now I'm on T; but maybe it's due to me becoming better at disassociating from my body or because I'm slightly agender. When I first realised I was trans my chest dysphoria was huge but now I hardly have any because 1. I have a binder 2. I don't dwell on that part of my body 3. It's a male chest just with extra fat.
Before I got my packer I didn't really care about that part of my body but the happyness I got from using it made me care a little more. Then that dissipated after I'd worn it for a few times and I'm back to not caring.
I think your dysphoria is shifting because you're close to being on T; so you're starting to imagine more often how you'll look with the changes; which is making you more dysphoric because you still look the same. Your dysphoria will probably go back to normal once you're on T.

[FTMax]

My dysphoria has changed as I've progressed through my medical transition. Speaking with other guys in bottom surgery support groups, I've found that this is incredibly common.

Pre-everything I had social anxiety, didn't want to speak in public, chose my clothing very strategically, binded to the point that it was unhealthy, etc. I wasn't to the point that self mutilation had any appeal, but I was heavily dissociative. T made most of that more bearable very quickly, easily within the first three months.

But it made me much more conscious of my chest, since that's something that T couldn't change. I had been binding for close to a decade when I started T, and I had done a lot of damage. I knew I needed to get top surgery sooner rather than later, and not just because of the dysphoria. So I did - instant fix. I felt 1000x better. For about a month.

It was a weird creeping feeling. It started as just the urge to pack, and then the urge to pack constantly. I didn't feel comfortable without it. But I unfortunately haven't found an all-in-one product that works 100% of the time with my anatomy, so I was still forced to confront the reality that I did not in fact have male parts. I had not been originally considering any kind of bottom surgery beyond an eventual hysterectomy, but I started to realize that I wouldn't be completely happy without it.

I researched all last fall, settled on a surgeon, had my hysterectomy, and lost about 30lbs so far to prepare. I have my consult next week and will decide exactly which procedure I want, with the first stage hopefully being scheduled this June. It has been whirlwind fast at times, and not fast enough at others. My dysphoria has slightly improved as milestones are reached, and I imagine it will continue to improve until it's all done.

Obviously dysphoria is different for everyone and it manifests in different ways, but at least among other guys who are nearing the end of their medical journeys, what I hear extremely often is that dysphoria shifts as the individual causes are fixed.

[November Fox]

For the longest time my dysphoria has manifested in a case of the "why bother"s. Indifference and apathy everywhere. As of late, it's been shifting more towards irritability and outright discomfort. That part I understand. I'm getting more and more comfortable presenting as male, so anything that takes me back a step has a negative impact.

Same here. And yeah, my dysphoria shifted tremendously since I came out (which is about four months). I had dysphoria for years before that but I didn´t know why I had it or what it was called.

It differs from time to time what I´m more dysphoric about and I think that´s normal. As a person you aren´t always the same and you don´t always care about the exact same thing in an exact amount of time. My dysphoria was first mostly top, then mostly bottom and now it´s shifted to my voice and certain phobias.

I´m pre-T too. I don´t think you have to necessarily be on T to experience these things. It probably depends a lot on your mindset too, and your brain does seem to adapt the more male you feel.


Edit: Hey, we came out at almost exactly same date
Two days difference

[Peep]

I never had voice dysphoria before i started presenting as male, but I guess that's mostly 'cause it throws of any slim chance i have of passing, so it wasn't an issue before.

[nemutai]

I had severe chest dysphoria for 4-5 years, little to no bottom dysphoria, thought everything was fine and dandy, i could just get a packer, no biggie.

Had top surgery, recovered, few months pass - boom, bottom dysphoria hits me like a truck.
Maybe it was because my binder didn't work well (kind of ended up acting similarly to a pushup bra ) and I was so focused on the big huge weird anomaly on my chest that when it was gone I finally noticed the other stuff that I'd never paid any mind before.