I don't know where you live but either way it sounds very GLBT unfriendly to me from your description.
I can understand your feelings of wanting to be a woman and still like women. That's where I stand except that I already have transitioned. It's hard to meet a woman who likes trans women but it's possible.
Your feelings of wanting to transition growing is certainly familiar as I felt the exact same way until I could no longer contain myself and went the distance and transitioned. Since I did, I am a lot happier being who I am and have gained confidence to do things that would have terrified me beyond belief such as being in a public place as my true self. Years ago, my heart would be through the roof! Now, it's nothing at all under any circumstances, even using the women's washroom! Such a change in my outlook.
As your country is not the best place to be, possibly a GLBT friendlier place might be in the offing?
Best wishes and love,
Clare
